


The Rip in the Universe

by Confused_Em0



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Post Infinity War, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Something strange has occurred between Tony and Loki during IW, Soul Bonds Au, Steve Tony and Bucky are on good terms, Tony and The Avengers have reconciled, What happened to Tony after the confrontation with Thanos?, avengers as a family, following both legal and moral obligations, minor steve/bucky, peaceful and sensical resolution to the rift between the Avengers, renegotiation of the accords with the UN, resolution of the aftermath of CW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-30 07:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 62,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10157228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confused_Em0/pseuds/Confused_Em0
Summary: “In the midst of Tony carrying out his responsibilities as an Avenger, the workings of the entire planet had suddenly changed in an instant. The date had been August 13, 2017.  It was on a Sunday morning, that Tony had woken up in his hotel suite in Goa, with a searing pain in his left wrist. A pain so intense, that it had rivalled having his chest cut open in Gulmira.”  Soul bonds AU which is in line with canon. Tony, Steve and Bucky share a soul mark. Steve and Bucky are aware of theirs; Tony hides his. But then something happens to Loki during IW, and everything changes once again.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not deal with the events of upcoming Marvel movies (post cacw) explicitly but rather deals with events following. I wanted to leave open a lot of what happens during events such as IW, as canon will likely take a route that I will not be able to predict. 
> 
> I also wanted to give a sincere _thank-you ___to one of my closest friends, Pipi, @chrishemswortth on tumblr, as she has been my inspiration for having faith in the concept of the Avengers as a family once again. I wouldn't be back here if it weren't for her.
> 
>  
> 
> If you decided to stay, then thank-you for taking this journey with me.

  
“Move your arm a little to the left for me.”  
  
Bucky extended his arm further toward tony, leaning forward in the process; his face stoic behind the curtain of his hair, as he underwent scheduled maintenance on his S.I. issued metal arm.  
  
The previous encounter with KGB operatives in their Warehouse bust of a Russian base, had taken a toll on the mechanics of the plates, when Bucky had been thrown into an operating generator. Luckily the entire arm hadn’t short-circuited but the experience had done enough damage to give Bucky grief; hence the stoic demeanour the sergeant held while Tony made the last few adjustments.  
  
After a few more minutes, the engineer pulled away, shifting the last two plates back into place.  
  
“How’s it feel?”  
  
Bucky shifted the plates of the arm himself before rotating it near the shoulder blade. “Feels good. Just right.”  
  
Tony hummed in response. “No stiffness?”  
  
Bucky shook his head; flyaway strands of dark hair getting into his eye before the man drew them away, running that same hand along the length of the longer hair.  
  
“Thanks pal.” The man grinned up at Tony this time; his features morphing into a brighter expression that would be enough to break anyone’s heart.  
  
Tony rolled his eyes as he pulled away from the soldier completely now, picking himself up off the roll-away stool, in order to update the schematics of Bucky’s arm; the corner of his lip stretching into a half-smile despite himself.  
  
Tony Stark had now come to know that not only was Bucky Barnes devastatingly handsome, he was also an unabashed charmer. No wonder he chased so many skirts back in the day - he could get away with it!  
  
Once he regained full control of his life, and with a little bit more healing, Bucky would make someone very happy someday. Tony thought he might have an idea on who that could be. The concealed mark on his left wrist tingled in response.  
  
Tony still couldn’t believe how far they had come. Just over a year ago, he would have bet his life, that he would never have been able to forgive ‘Barnes’ or his ‘backstabbing best friend’. (Ha! Try saying that five times in a row). Yet here they were; casually chatting away in Tony’s workshop while Bucky pulled on his Black Sabbath t-shirt.  
  
Yes, they had come so far that Tony had even managed to get Bucky into the bands he listened to, much to Steve’s chagrin. The Old Man Fossil could suck it. Bucky had great taste; Steve could just shut his yap.  
  
“You’re lucky I like you so much, otherwise I would charge you by the minute.” Tony still kept his back to Bucky but couldn’t help the smile that fully stretched his lips now, when he heard the responding, “Yeah, yeah your time is valuable being the _great Tony Stark_ and all. But all that is downgraded when you account for the fact that you’re a punk.”  
  
“A punk, huh? I thought Steve was the punk?”  
  
Bucky actually snorted; playfully throwing a paper ball at tony. “You’re both punks. Still can’t decide which one of you is worse. Can you believe that jerk jumped out of a plane without a parachute the other day, during that mission in Geneva?”  
  
“Well I suppose it’s no worse than that time he crashed through a window of a fifteen story building…”  
  
“ _He did what?_ ”  
  
Tony held up his hands in surrender, a laugh falling from his lips. “But hey if we’re having a competition in idiocy, you know I’ll have him beat. I did once give a world renown terrorist my home address.”  
  
Bucky deadpanned - his default expression reserved for when any of the Avengers did something profoundly stupid. “Funnily enough that doesn’t actually make me feel any better,” Bucky drawled.  
  
Tony’s laughter turned full blown when Bucky pulled him into his side, ruffling his messy curls into an even further chaotic disarray. “Give me a goddamn heart attack, the both of ya. It’ll be a miracle if I make it another ten years.”  
  
It should have been ridiculous - the sight of a grown-ass man in a headlock - but Bucky’s antics were nothing if not endearing.  
  
A relationship of any kind between the two of them should have been tumultuous to say the least and up until about half-a-year ago, it was, but then as always, time changed everything.  
  
The aftermath of the now termed, ‘Civil War,’ had seen the Avengers scattered and Tony heavily burdened with the consequences; something he had resented immensely at the time, as the sole responsibility of the mess had been left his to clean, while the rest of his teammates were out playing ‘fugitives’.  
  
He had spent months pleading with the Justice Department to not prosecute the remaining Avengers, namely Rhodey, Vision and himself, seeing as they had done everything within their power to attempt to bring in Bucky, Steve and the others, despite eventually failing to have done so.  
  
However, the fact that the ‘fugitives’ had found refuge in Wakanda had only made the Attorney General prissier. Though, thank the Gods in non-existent heavens above, for Peter Parker. Not only had the boy been a blessing for Tony’s sanity, their encounter with Vulture and the subsequent defeat of the winged villain (though Tony could admit he felt somewhat bad for the swindled businessman), had temporarily appeased the State Department and the U.N..  
  
Peter had now become part of Tony’s immediate family, having a very special place among Rhodey, Pep, Happy and Harley. Peter and his more than attractive aunt had been moved to live in Stark Tower, all expenses paid for while Pete continued his studies and worked part time for R&D. Tony had found great comfort in them during a time when it had felt like his entire world had fallen apart.  
  
Forward a few weeks later, and news had broken out that a major altercation had taken place in King T’Challa’s homeland. Tony had suspected that the U.S. had sent in troops to hunt down the defected Avengers, despite having been granted asylum by T’Challa himself, but that hadn’t been the case. The Wakandan King had had demons of his own to deal with.  
  
This had lead to a startling call made to the burner phone that had been mailed to Tony months prior - a phone which Tony had considered destroying in colourful ways many times over, but for some reason had refrained from doing so.  
  
Tony had ignored Steve’s call.  
  
—  
  
Bucky followed Tony up to the communal floor of Stark Tower, where most of the Avengers liked to gather during their time off, despite the fact that the base upstate was more than enough to inhabit all of them at once. Though you try telling any one of them that.  
  
“Man, why is there never any food when I’m around here?” Sam’s voice was first to greet them as they walked out of the elevator and into the kitchen.  
  
“That’s because you’re here ninety-five percent of the time instead of back at base, and eat all of the food, dumbass,” was Bucky’s colourful response when he got close enough, clipping Sam with a tea-towel.  
   
Sam retrieved the only muesli bar left in one of the higher cupboards before shutting it behind him, levelling Bucky with a glare. “You better check yourself One-armed Wonder, before I fly your ass out the goddamn window. Too early in the morning for your nonsense.”  
  
Tony laughed under his breath. “Hey Sam, haven’t seen you in ages. What’s it been, like fourteen hours? That’s a record.” Sam actually growled when Bucky high-fived Tony.  
  
“Don’t you start with me too, Tinman. I have been up since four in the mornin’, because your devil of a best friend,” and here Sam turned to look directly at Bucky, grimace still firmly in place, “decided that it would be great to get workout done early before the mission on Friday. Look at him sittin’ on that couch all smiley and innocent, pretending he’s some sort of an angel, when he a blond-haired Lucifer in disguise.”  
  
True to Sam’s word, Tony could see Steve sitting on the sofa in the living room, a polite smile in place, chatting amicably with Vision, who now spent most of his time at Stark tower, immensely afraid of hurting anyone else on the facility after the incident with Rhodey.  
  
With physical rehab and Tony’s help, Rhodey had improved vastly over the preceding months, now able to walk on his own. He still wasn’t well enough to perform more complicated tasks, including the piloting of War Machine, but the prognosis was far better than what had been originally feared.  
  
Tony laughed louder this time. “Well Lucifer was an angel…” to which Sam raised an eyebrow, “but I get your point.”  
  
“Mmhmm.”  
  
The trio managed to rummage through the cupboards and fridge, finding whatever scraps they could - Bucky and Tony each grabbing a piece of fruit, Sam had his muesli bar - before heading over to the living room.  
  
Steve immediately brightened at their presence. “Hey fellas,” he grinned up at them.  
  
“Sam’s been complaining about you,” Bucky informed Steve as he took a seat next to Vision, on the couch opposite them.  
  
“Oh really?” Steve turned to look at Sam, who had sat down next to him; a smile still playing at the corner of his lips.  
  
“Yeah,” Bucky replied, biting into his apple, “His old man bones can’t keep up with your hell-exercise so early in the morning.” Here Bucky winked at Tony, who turned to look at Sam, who he had sat down to the left of, with a shit-eating grin.

"Oh would you look at that. I guess some of us are catching up to my, what did you call it again Wilson? Oh right, ‘downward death slope into senility.’ Welcome to the club Betty White.”  
  
Bucky and Steve burst out laughing, Vision looked on pleasantly, while Sam grumbled from next to Tony. “I told you not to go there man,” he said to Tony, before looking between the two soldiers, “I don’t know what you fossils are laughing at. Y’all two together are older than all of the Avengers combined.”  
  
Steve’s arm came around the width of Sam’s shoulders, squeezing his arm playfully. “Touché buddy. But we’re still super-soldiers in our prime…”  
  
“And you’re not,” Bucky added; smirk still firmly in place.  
  
“I hate all of you so much.”  
  
Tony nudged Sam with his shoulder, “Oh don’t be like that Chocolaccino,” he teased Sam, borrowing an endearment Bucky used for the man, “We’re only messing with ya.”  
  
“Who’s messing with my Sam?” Natasha’s voice wafted over, as she made her way into the living room from the South East entrance, coming to squeeze Sam’s cheeks before taking a seat next to Bucky, shoulder to shoulder.  
  
“Steve and Bucky are being mean to Sam,” Tony replied, pouting at Nat, feigning innocence.  
  
Nat turned to Bucky, nudging him in the side. “Is this true _dorogoi moy_?”  
  
“Tony started it,” the soldiers replied simultaneously, which would have been creepy if Tony hadn’t been used to how often it happened.  
  
The mark on his wrist itched again. Tony resisted the urge to scratch it.  
  
“I did nothing of the sort,” Tony retorted, plopping a piece of orange into his mouth, before offering a slice to Sam, who accepted it without hesitation.  
  
Nat shifted her gaze to Vision, “Who’s telling the truth Vis?”  
  
Without missing a beat, neutral expression still firmly in place, Vision replied, “I believe Mr. Stark is, Miss. Romanoff.”  
  
Both Tony and Sam started cackling, Tony responding with, “My guy, you’re still my guy Vision,” while Steve and Bucky feigned indignation; a cry of, “Outrageous,” falling from Steve’s lips.  
  
Natasha attempted to hide a smile behind her hand at their antics.  
  
Tony remembered the time when the ex-Russian spy had let both Steve and Bucky get away, before the fateful climax of the Civil War. Their following encounter had not gone over smoothly, to put it frankly. To say that Tony would have ever seen Natasha after that point, let alone with an intergalactic team of bandits, would have made the engineer sneer.  
  
Though, that is exactly what had happened.  
  
In the midst of Tony carrying out his responsibilities as an Avenger, ignoring Steve and his group of outlaws, guiding Pete with his abilities, all the while attempting to deal with his personal demons, the workings of the entire planet had suddenly changed in an instant.  
  
The date had been August 13, 2017.  
  
It was on a Sunday morning, that Tony had woken up in his hotel suite in Goa, with a searing pain in his left wrist. A pain so intense, that it had rivalled having his chest cut open in Gulmira.  
  
Pushing up out of his bed immediately at two a.m., fumbling for the light switch in the dark, Tony had finally managed to see what the cause of this new found agony had been. There, on his very flesh, had been the beginning of the manifestation of a symbol, appearing as though it were being burned into his skin. The engineer had done nothing else but fallen to his knees, having been unable to touch his wrist from fear of burning his fingers.  
  
Tony hadn’t been able to recall how long it had actually been, for the creation of the imprint into his skin had seemed to go on forever, before the pain had begun to ebb away, ending on a significantly milder stinging. Slowly he had made his way to the edge of his bed, turning his left wrist toward him, before he had sat down.  
  
What he had seen before him had rendered him speechless for entirely too long. The beginnings of a mark he had seen earlier, had become stark clear against his olive-brown skin; red, raised and angry, though still quite prominent nonetheless. The feeling of flames eating away at his skin had been accurate, as what had fully manifested, had been an angry burn-like mark.  
  
The most peculiar thing about it all, had been that when Tony had looked back at the mark, he had been able to immediately identify it. The symbol of the Borromean rings: three perfectly symmetrical circles intersecting. A symbol of Italian heritage, used now in popular culture, to illustrate unity.  
  
_What the fuck?_  
  
That had been Tony’s immediate thought. His mind had then begun to race with a thousand other ones all at once. How could that have happened? Why had that happened? What had it all meant? Had someone done that to him? But when and how? Had it happened in Goa? Had someone entered his room while he had been asleep? Spiked his food, or drinks? But clearly that hadn’t been just a simple drug related side effect. It had been the branding of a mark into his very flesh, which could only have been physically done, though there had been not a soul but his in the room… then could it possibly have had anything to do with _magic_?  
  
The very thought had made Tony’s skin crawl.  
  
He had then proceeded to alert Friday as to what had happened but the A.I. had been just as perplexed as him.  
  
Though just as they had been on the verge of delving deep into the Italian and subsequent biblical origins of the symbol, Friday’s systems had been alerted to the fact that social media had been blowing up, with people recounting similar experiences within that previous hour.  
  
Within minutes, mainstream media from all across the globe, had been reporting on the same breaking news, that people around the world were waking up with searing pain in their wrists, followed subsequently with bizarre burn-like marks. A presenter of CNN had actually lifted up her own wrist to reveal her mark, of what had appeared to be, a pair of body-less wings.  
  
Immediately thereafter, there had been new reports of a strange ‘tear in the skyline’, as far as the eye could have seen, having appeared in certain parts of the world. It had been described as thin and narrow, estimated to have been a few hundred kilometres apart.  
  
Tony hadn’t wasted time waiting for the images to be shown on the news, having pulled apart his hotel curtains to peer up at the sky.  
  
Surely enough that enigma had run across the expanse of Goa’s night sky. It had been hard to fully make out in the dark at that time, though Tony had still been able to see where it had been located, and why it had been referred to as a ’tear.’ It had looked as though a being of grand divinity had taken a jagged razor and run it along a thin portion of the celestial sphere.  
  
The space within the tear itself had appeared to have had a density different from the planet’s: the constellation of stars at odds with that of the earth’s. Tony’s pulse had immediately quickened, having dulled the residual ache in his wrist, when flashbacks of the battle of New York had infiltrated his mind.  
  
He had attempted to smother those thoughts as soon as they had surfaced, calling for his suit instead, encasing himself in the metal before having flown out into the warm Indian night; the time within the suit having read four-twenty a.m.  
  
He had flown along the expanse of the tear, Friday having made diagnostics in the process, attempting to figure out just how far the surface of it had ran. In the distance he had seen choppers in the night sky, likely reporting back to the Indian government, though he had ignored them at the time, having shot past them instead in the cover of the dark clouds.  
  
The engineer had reached Murudeshwar in the state of Karnataka, from his original destination of Panjim, Goa, a distance of over two-hundred kilometres, before the surface of the tear had receded. Friday had been unable to find any more data than what had been physically apparent, as the material within the space had been ’undefinable.’  
   
That hadn’t instilled any bit of faith in Tony, so he had then spent the time proceeding, waiting, waiting, waiting for something, _anything,_ whether another cosmic event of some kind, or his most dreaded fear manifesting - a hostile alien army charging through, in the masses. Though when minutes had turned into an hour, then longer still, and nothing at all had happened, Tony had decided to resign himself for the time being, seeing as the sun had started to peek along the surface of the horizon.  
  
He had made his way to back to his hotel room; people having filled the streets below him, in the hundreds to observe the anomaly in the morning sky, many of them Friday had reported on, having sported newly formed marks on their wrists.  
  
It had soon been realised however, that not every single person in the world brandished a mark. There had been newer reports, that aside from the mysterious rip in the atmosphere, a few number of people had experienced nothing strange at all.  
  
That detail in particular, had peeked Tony’s interest more than anything else. He hadn’t known it at the time, and to be fair, he still wasn’t entirely sure what had prompted him to do it, but nonetheless, the revelation had made Tony decide to conceal his mark from being witnessed by anyone else, at least for that interim.  
  
Perhaps it had something to do with not fully understanding the consequences of the bizarre incident, therefore protecting himself beforehand, if the knowledge of what his mark was, could be used against him in the future somehow.  
  
So Tony had reached for his suitcase, taken out the stealth technology he had once designed for S.H.I.E.L.D., kept at all times on his person for emergency purposes, and had ‘grafted’ ’new skin’ over the surface of his left wrist. Within seconds, the bioengineered technology had mapped his DNA, smoothing out the raised, angry symbol in his flesh, to be replaced by unblemished skin.  
  
The fact that some people had reported seeing no strange new marks on their skin had meant that Tony could have gotten away with concealing his, without having raised suspicion of any kind.  
  
Tony had then proceeded with the day in his room, cancelling any last minute meetings he had had. The day had turned to night once again, while Tony had had multiple news sites open, consuming any new information that had been presented, which in hindsight, really hadn’t been much.  
  
They had managed to find out that the tear had originated in Taiwan, cutting through the atmospheres of certain South Asian, Middle Eastern, North African countries and some states of the U.S..  
  
Tony’s phone had gone off multiple times during that day; members of the Accords committee of the U.N. and the State Department alike, attempting to have reached him. Pepper, Rhodey, Happy and Pete had all tried to contact him as well, but he had refrained from answering, firstly because he had known they hadn’t been in any imminent danger given the voicemails they had left, and secondly because he had wanted to gather as much intel as he could have, before speaking to any one of them.  
  
Just as he had been ready to delve further into research however, the phone on his night stand had blared into life once again. Though what had peeked his interest at that time, was that it had been an unknown number that had registered on the screen. With some hesitation, Tony had relented and answered the phone, and had been genuinely surprised to hear the familiar voice on the other line when they had responded.  
  
_“You need to get back to New York right now. There is something you’re going to want to see. Avengers base. Twenty-four hours.”_  
  
That had been the only thing the engineer had heard before the dial tone had greeted him.  
  
The first time in over a year Tony had heard that voice; the man having been AWOL during the Civil War.  
  
_Nick Fury._  
  
As to how Natasha fit into it, well, twenty-four hours later, and Tony had given into Fury’s request and flown straight to the deserted Avengers base in New York. Tony hadn’t known what to expect when he had landed in the suit. It certainly hadn’t been the redhead by Fury’s side at the entrance, and what had appeared to be a group of aliens with an unidentified human among their ranks, behind them.  
  
_Well, shit_ had been the only way to officially address the situation.  
  
Breaking away momentarily from his thoughts, Tony looked over at Steve while they all continued with their ridiculous banter, and his seemingly carefree attitude, the easy smile that played on his lips, the eyes which appeared brighter. He seemed a lot more comfortable in his skin, a lot more put together now that Bucky no longer needed to be in cryo and was wholly by his side. A very real and solid part of his past, back with him; his friend, his partner-in-crime, his _soulmate._  
  
Yet all of this did nothing to completely hide, the still lingering sadness at the corner of Steve's eyes, like he wasn’t quite _complete_ just yet. This fact seemed to intensify when Steve looked a little too long at Bucky - the sadness turned to expertly concealed longing. The only reason Tony was able to identify it himself, was because he had seen that exact same look in the mirror, when he and Pepper had officially decided to call it quits.  
  
That day had felt like whatever little was remaining of his heart, had been shattered into oblivion, never to be found or mended again. Tony didn’t like to think about that experience for any amount of specified time.  
  
Tony’s gaze flickered to where Nat was now playing with Bucky’s hair, with his head in her lap, Bucky recounting all the ways in which Sam had bullied _him_ over the past year, so it was only fair Bucky got to needle him in turn; fiddling with the apple core in his hands as Nat pretended to chide him.  
  
Tony didn’t need to look at Steve to know how he yearned to be in Nat’s place instead, of how his heart kind of broke at the sight of Bucky being so at ease with the woman of his past.  
  
The engineer inhaled deeply when his mark ached in response.  
  
_Easy buddy_ , he thought of Steve. If Tony could feel even a fraction of what Steve was feeling, then what would it mean for Bucky? As if on cue, Bucky looked up and directly at Steve, offering him a soft smile.  
  
This time Tony did look toward Steve’s responding smile, the action making Tony hurt on Steve’s behalf.  
  
Honestly, this was starting to get ridiculous. He had to say something. Help his friend, and as a result his _other_ friend, in some way.  
  
Having seen Natasha over six months ago now, at the Avengers base alongside Nick Fury, had had Tony’s hackles up immediately.  
  
His immediate thought at the time had been that he had walked into a trap. The entire situation had not been helped by the fact that the rest of his ex-teammates had been invited to the base as well; Tony finding out only when the group consisting of Steve, Sam, Clint, the then deemed ‘Ant Guy’, Wanda and surprisingly Stephen Strange trailing behind her, entered through the western gates.  
  
Even then Tony had known not to relax, when only seconds later, King T’Challa had entered the premises as well, followed by Bucky and the Dora Milaje, surrounding him in an almost protective manor.  
  
Tony had resisted the urge to roll his eyes. If he had really meant to kill Barnes, then the man and his best friend would have been dead, let alone find asylum in Wakanda.  
  
Though any other thought that he might have had within that time, had suddenly vanished from his mind, when his left wrist had flared up in pain again. He had done everything within his power to not react openly, however when he had heard two simultaneous cries of pain, his heart had almost stopped in his chest.  
  
Both Steve and Bucky had clutched their left wrists in pain; the others around them turning to look at them in alarm.  
  
_“Are you alright?”_ had been Clint’s worried response, as he had looked between the two soldiers.  
  
_“I don’t know, I…”_ Steve had cut his reply short, instead turning his wrist upright, and what Tony had seen had shaken him to the core.  
  
Three rings intersecting, on both his left wrist, as well as Barnes’, turning inky black on the surface of the pale skins.  
  
The same three rings, concealed, that had been throbbing on Tony’s wrist.  
  
_“What is the meaning of all of this?”_ It had been T’Challa’s authoritative voice that had cut through the air, when the King had directed his attention toward a frowning Fury; his expression one of stone.  
  
Many of the faces around Tony, had joined T’Challa’s as they had all looked toward Fury, each with their own expression of bewilderment; none of them had been the wiser regarding Tony’s internal panic.  
  
Fury had then attempted his best to reconcile what he had been able to between all of them gathered, which in reality had been next to nothing, before eventually introducing, ‘The Guardians of the Galaxy.’    
  
(Tony still struggled to not take the piss out of such a ridiculous name, though he had to admit, he still very much liked Rocket, despite him literally being a _talking raccoon_. But then, was that any weirder than being an animated tree? These were among some of the questions that kept Tony up at night).  
  
The ‘Guardians’ had then sought to explain what the anomaly in the sky had actually meant. According to Quill, they had been in pursuit of the soul gem, which had lead them to an alien woman named Ayesha, and subsequently a being that was artificially created, named Adam Warlock. In the pursuant fight, the power of the soul gem had accidentally been activated, having lead to a subsequent rift in the universe, as manifested by the tear in the sky. The full consequences of this rift is still yet to be realised, however the more immediate action of that had been, the emergence of ‘soul bonds’.  
  
In somewhat simpler terms, the activation of the soul gem, had now allowed the physical manifestation of soul bonds, that two people apparently shared with each other.  
  
The deafening silence that had followed Peter Quill’s absurd explanation, had been enough to demonstrate the scepticism and disbelief that had been felt throughout the group.  
  
It had only been when Stephen Strange had stepped up to elaborate, had the reality of the situation started to sink in. _“I’m afraid all of what has been recounted here, has been nothing but the truth. The soul gem is currently in my possession and I can definitely vouch for its power; it is exceptional, it is extraordinary._  
  
_“The universe itself exists on the energy of all life, each life which has a unique presence of its own, meaning a soul. It may or may not be by grand design, but there is a theory among the magical community, that each soul has a particular path in the course of its physical life; if uninterrupted, it will continue on this journey until the end of its host’s life. However, as is the case with many individuals, a soul’s path may be shaped by that of another’s, and if it is shaped so significantly that the original path of the soul is no longer obtainable, then those individuals are known to be_ soul-bonded.  
  
_“Simply meaning, your life is not the same without your soul-bond. This theory supposedly exists in the universe irrespective of us being able to physically see it, so all the soul gem’s activation has done, has allowed it to be manifested.”_  
  
_“But that’s ridiculous,”_ Tony had heard himself speak, panic having welled up to unbearable levels inside of him, _“there are so many people that shape our lives.”_  
  
_“Not like this,”_ had been Strange’s simple response. _“I guess I can theorise that it’s the universe’s way of saying that these individuals were ‘meant to be’ - in which way, shape or form, well that would be up to life to decide.”_  
  
_That can’t be right_ had been the only thought going around Tony’s head in that very moment.  
  
_“Does this mean that Steve and Bucky are_ soulmates _?”_ Sam’s sceptical voice had interrupted theirs; a frown between his dark brows.  
  
Strange had nodded in response. _“It looks to be that way. The fact that their soul marks have now turned to ink is further proof that they are. Marks only turn black when you are finally in the presence of your soulmate.”_  
  
_“But that doesn’t make any sense,”_ Sam had retorted, seeming to get more frustrated as the seconds had ticked on, _“They’ve been together for the past twenty-four hours, right from when this astronomical mumbo-jumbo took place.”_  
  
Stephen Strange had only tilted his head to the side, seeming to have been pondering the statement, before responding with, _“Must have been a delayed response.”_  
  
Sam had then resorted to quirk an eyebrow, in an expression that had screamed, ‘give me a break.’ _“Then what’s that other mark on his arm?”_  
  
_“I’m sorry?”_  
  
_“This,”_ Sam had then proceeded to tug Steve’s sleeve up further along his arm to reveal what had appeared to be another mark just below the three rings, this one still remaining like a burn; two threads intertwining that ran along the circumference of Steve’s wrist, though there had appeared to be a word, the same word every so often repeating, between the two threads, joining them together. From where Tony had been rooted to the spot, he had been unable to make out what exactly the word had said.    
  
_“He’s got two marks on his wrist. Does this mean he’s got_ two soulmates _?”_ The incredulity in Sam’s question had not gone unnoticed.  
  
Steve had appeared off-put by having been discussed so openly, though he had still waited on a response from Strange nonetheless; doubtfulness having been evident in his expression.  
  
Strange had only shrugged in response, answering with a nonchalant, _“Yes.”_  
  
_“You can have more than one person shape your life significantly,”_ he had  elaborated, _“though unlikely to occur, it is not implausible.”_  
  
Wanda had piped up as well, offering what she had apparently learned under Strange’s tutelage. Wanda being the Grand Wizard’s pupil had been news to Tony at the time.  
  
Tony had chosen to ignore whatever explanations had come out of Wanda’s mouth, his eyes having wandered down to the others’ wrists and having realised that most of them had sported marks of their own; all of them scar-like, rather than inky-black.  
  
It had been when his eyes had travelled to Natasha’s covered wrist that had given Tony pause. When his gaze had flickered up to meet her’s, sharply on him, he had felt a chill crawl up his spine. The green eyes that had looked back at him had appeared all too knowing. She had lifted a perfectly manicured brow at him, to which he had raised one of his own.  
  
Her mouth had curved slightly to the right, as Tony had witnessed many times over in the years he had known her, before the words, _“Do you have a mark Tony?”_ had fallen from pretty lips.  
  
_Two can play this game,_ Tony had thought in response. _“Do you?”_ he had asked her in turn.  
  
What Tony had not expected was for the redhead to immediately push back the sleeves of her dress shirt before revealing both of her wrists to the engineer.  
  
Tony’s eyes had widened.  
  
Blank.  
  
Both wrists had been blank.  
  
The redhead had remained impassive as she had looked back at Tony, in a manor that had challenged him to do the same.  
  
Ironically enough, it had been in that moment, that the others gathered around them, had decided to momentarily quit their in-banter, directing their attention toward Tony.  
  
Tony had bitten the inside of his cheek, to have kept himself from reacting, taken a sharp breath, before having removed himself completely from the iron man armour. He had done his best to ignore the other eyes on him, gaze having been firmly on Romanoff’s unflinching, before he had rolled back the sleeve of the under armour, revealing his wrist for all to see.  
  
No mark had been in sight.  
  
—  
  
“Oh hey Tony,” Steve looked surprised to see the engineer, who was sat in the living room of his apartment floor, waiting for the blond to arrive. “Is everything okay? Oh my god, did I forget a lunch date?”  
  
Tony laughed at Steve’s genuinely concerned expression, shaking his head at the man in order to placate him. “No, no, no. Nothing like that.”  
  
Steve’s reaction was actually quite endearing, given the fact that after they had reconciled, the Captain had been the one to suggest regular ‘lunch dates’ just between he and Tony, to make sure that they were always up to date regarding each others lives, and never ended up in a situation where they failed to communicate. The entire thing was ridiculous to Tony, but it was sweet nonetheless.  
  
Tony smiled up at Steve. “No, I just wanted to chat, if you’re not busy?”  
  
“Uhhh,” Steve appeared caught off guard for a moment before responding with a, “Sure.”  
  
“Great.” Tony patted the seat next to him, before Steve did in fact sit down.  
  
Tony had thought about having this conversation with Steve so many times over in the past few weeks, that now that the moment was finally here, he felt like he still didn’t know what the best way to approach it was.  
  
Well. No time like the present.  
  
“Steve…” he began, “…Have you thought about…what the future…holds for you?”  
  
Steve remained confused. “What do you mean…?”  
  
Tony scratched a phantom itch at his temple. “Well… you’ve already done a lot for the country, and served as best as you could for the Avengers, and subsequently the U.N.… So what I’m trying to say is, have you considered more regarding your…personal life? Settling down?”  
  
Steve’s blue eyes widened fractionally before long lashes blinked a few times. “Oh,” fell from the full lips in a tone of realisation. “I uh, I haven’t really had time to I guess.”  
  
“You’d tried with Sharon though right?”  
  
The solider nodded briefly in response. “Yeah. But it didn’t last long. Sharon’s a great gal, don’t get me wrong, but it was just too strange, for the _both_ of us… and the fact that Peg is my… well, you know…” Here, Steve trailed away before forlornly looking down at his wrist, nimble fingers running along the circumference of the second mark on his skin.  
  
Tony took in a deep breath at that, feeling his heart bleed for the other man. In reality Steve wasn’t actually all that old; just pushing past thirty but already having suffered great loss. Tony thought it cruel to have fated Steve to two (he would never count himself) people that the man would have felt like, he could never truly have; Peggy Carter was in fact dead, though Bucky however wasn’t, but Steve would probably still think him out of reach. And this is what Tony had a problem with.  
  
After their encounter with the Guardians on the day, over six months ago, Tony and the ex-Avengers had parted ways once again. (Tony hadn’t bothered to attempt to arrest any of them, not that he would have likely succeeded, it was just the fact that the entire thing would have been entirely tedious). Though it had not only been Stephen Strange’s explanation of soul bonds that had lingered in Tony’s mind in the immediate days to follow, it had been the fact that the new threat of ‘Thanos’, alarmingly titled, ‘The Mad Titan,’ had been revealed.  
  
Apparently the titan was in possession of a gauntlet which would allow him to harness the combined powers of all the infinity stones, giving him such destructive capabilities that he would be able to level entire universes. The revelation would initially have seemed unbelievable, had it not been for the fact that the Guardians of the Galaxy were comprised of two of Thanos’ adopted daughters, who had recounted all the horrible things The Mad Titan had done over the years. The fact that Loki’s name, as well as the Chitauris’ had been thrown around, had been enough to further cement their argument.  
  
Needless to say, the record number of sleepless nights Tony had had over the years, had been broken.  
  
It had been this fact, combined with the knowledge that Tony now shared soul marks with he and his best friend, that had made Tony eventually, with reluctance and paradoxically curiosity, reach out to Steve.  
  
He had been wiling to listen to what Steve had been prepared to offer.  
  
When they had finally met up with each other at Stark tower, with Bucky in their presence, had Steve formally come out and offered an apology. Not the half-arsed one Tony had received in that god awful letter, but a sincere acknowledgement of the profound consequences of his actions; the significant of them having been concealing the truth from Tony. What Tony had appreciated was that in that instance, Steve had not used Bucky as a means to justify the end, but had instead accepted that what he had done was genuinely wrong and had been unacceptable under any circumstances.  
  
Obviously that hadn’t been enough to mend any bridges, though the request that Steve had followed up with, had changed the course of their future encounters entirely - it had been to look into both his and Bucky’s memories, for Tony to fully understand everything that had happened to them over the course of their lives, and ultimately realise what Bucky had gone through after his capture. _“I read up on your B.A.R.F. technology Tony and how it works. I know you can do it…”_  
  
Tony had been stunned at the request, turning bewildered eyes to look directly at Bucky, who had appeared gaunt and worn thin, a broken shell of a man, though he had still stood by his friend’s side and offered up his memories to Tony; tears barely held back from falling. _“I want you to know just how sorry I am for everything I’ve done. If I could remove myself from the past, I would do it in a heartbeat… But I can’t. So I want you to see why I did what I did. How they made me do it…”_  
  
Tony had almost refused the request, though a part of him had wanted to know, to understand exactly what had happened, and why it had happened; he had needed closure.  
  
It had been Steve’s memories he had accessed first, his childhood memories extracted from the recesses of his mind laid bare for Tony to see.  
  
The sickly little boy who had been too pale for his own good; a drunken father who used to abuse Steve and his mother, before Sarah Rogers had managed to flee, taking an emaciated Steve with her. Growing up poor in the suburbs of old Brooklyn, only managing to get by on scraps; a still scrawny little Steve attempting to fight off much older bullies, who were after whatever food Steve had found. In enter larger-than-life Bucky Barnes, who had only been a litter taller than Steve at the time, ferociously fighting off anybody who tried to pick on his new found friend; dirt and grime marring his eight-year old face; _till the end of the line._  
  
Tony had been lost in the series of memories that had shifted before his eyes; of how older Steve had struggled to find a well paying job, of how he had struggled with the loss of his mother, how he had felt like a failure for not being able to serve his country. Fast forward to meeting Erskine, Peggy Carter - the love of his life who had shaped him into a better man, the Howling Commandos and Howard, losing Bucky, then finding him again, only to end up watching him die right before his eyes as his best friend had fallen from the moving train. The pain of that memory had been so severe that Tony had felt it like a knife to his chest.  
  
He hadn’t been able to help it as he had shut B.A.R.F. down, having fallen to his knees in the process. The images had kept flashing in his mind, except Bucky had been substituted with Rhodey, and it had been Tony in the suit watching him fall from the sky, unable to do anything. The hideous part of it all, had been the fact that Steve had not known at the time, that Bucky would have eventually survived.  
  
It had taken Tony a good while after before he had been prepared to delve into Bucky’s memories, though that experience had not lasted long for Tony. The engineer had managed to make it past the childhood memories, but when the memories of Bucky’s Winter Soldier days had surfaced, Tony had not been able to bare it past the first experience of torture with electrocution therapy. Images of future episodes of torment had flashed through Bucky’s mind in horrid succession, his screams having reverberated within Tony’s workshop. _“Stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP…!!”_  
  
At the end of it all, Tony had been left a devastated mess; unable to stop the tears that had streamed down his face; Bucky’s pain resonating inside him. He had felt as though setting himself on fire, would have been less painful than what he had experienced within that past hour. What Hydra had done to Bucky… there had been no words. What the universe had stolen from both Bucky and Steve had been unbelievably cruel.  
  
_“I’m sorry,”_ he had whispered into the workshop; hiccuping between sobs. _“I’m sorry, I tried to hurt you.”_ The engineer had then looked up at Bucky who had still been sitting in the arm chair he had started in, looking back at Tony; silent tears falling from his red-rimmed eyes. _“I’m sorry,”_ Tony had repeated, _“I was angry. And I took that anger out on you.”_    
  
_“It’s not your fault Tony.”_ Steve had walked across the table that had separated them, crouching down before Tony, before having enveloped him into a hug. _“It’s not your fault Tony, it’s mine. I’m so sorry.”_  
  
It was unsurprising to say that after that encounter, everything had changed. Tony no longer had it in him to hold onto anger, his heart had been unable to withstand any more grief of such severity. So the three of them, along with the rest of the Avengers had made a promise to reconcile; put the past behind them in order to face the much larger threat that was on it’s way.  
  
Because Tony had accepted Steve’s request to look into his and Bucky’s memories, Tony had also gotten in a request of his own and that had been for Steve to reconsider the Accords. The fact that Tony had forgiven them, welcomed them back, and had offered to help Bucky with B.A.R.F. had been more than enough for Steve to accept.  
  
The subsequent days, had ensured that the Avengers were on their best behaviour when Tony took them all before the U.N. committee of the Accords. Having T’Challa on their side, and Tony’s team of lawyers, had certainly helped matters along in terms of renegotiation of the Accords. The State and Justice departments of the U.S. however had given them the most grief, as they were unwilling to accept any formal apologies made from the defected Avengers.

Funnily enough, it had been the evidence that Maria Hill, Fury and Natasha had uncovered against Ross that had made the authoritative powers reconsider.  
  
It just so happened that Ross had been caught attempting to use registered villains in an attempt to capture ‘supers’ including the defected Avengers, and potentially register them for future experimentation. Some guy named Matt Murdock, who was a rookie lawyer, had offered to help them prosecute Ross, as he had also uncovered substantial evidence to back up the claims.  
  
The Avengers had then compiled further evidence to show that corruption was still possible in the higher chain of command, citing the profound issues with S.H.I.E.L.D. and its subsequent collapse, for which Fury, Hill and the not-dead Coulson had testified.  
  
The Avengers had also submitted details of their encounter with Helmut Zemo, and how he had manipulated them, and threatened the safety of the world by possibly unleashing other Winter Soldiers. It had been this same evidence that Tony’s lawyers had used, when Bucky had stood trial for the accusations against him; but the only way Tony had known that the jury would have been persuaded, was if Bucky had allowed them access to his memories the same way he had allowed Tony.  
  
It had been a delicate situation, one which Bucky and the other Avengers had reconsidered many times over before Bucky had eventually accepted.  
  
It had been the right choice, as not even ten minutes into the memories, the crown prosecutor had called for it to be ‘turned off’; the jury gathering to deliberate, having returned fifteen minutes later with a ‘not-guilty’ verdict.  
  
The judge had allowed full sovereignty to Bucky, only if he was able to demonstrate to state-issued psychiatrists, that he had no residual effects of the Winter Soldier programming, that would cause him to lose control of his person.  
  
Bucky had accepted without hesitation. The fact that Tony had stated to the court, that he would be the one to help Bucky with the B.A.R.F. technology, when he had taken stand as a character witness, had certainly made the judge more lenient.  
  
The not-guilty verdict had been the biggest sigh of relief Tony had breathed in a very long time. That experience had only been made better when Bucky had eventually found him outside the courthouse, before enveloping him into a bear hug, having lifted Tony bodily off the ground.  
  
Tony had only laughed and laughed when Bucky’s litany of thank-you’s failed to stop as he had held onto Tony; grey eyes having shined with unshed tears.  
  
In the days that had followed after that, the U.N. committee of the Accords had been more receptive to any arguments made by the Avengers; ultimately allowing renegotiations when a recording made by the Guardians, was played before the committee, recounting the future threats that awaited the earth - the exact threats they had warned the Avengers against.  
  
The fact that there was a huge tear now in the sky and people were suddenly brandishing soul marks definitely helped matters.  
  
Fast forward a few months later, and the Avengers were back up and running, under the guidance of the U.N., reporting directly to them. S.H.I.E.L.D. was still running, though under Phil Coulson’s management, having rooted out all Hydra operatives; while Hill and Fury had begun preparations for Thanos, which firstly involved finding communication with Asgard once again.  
  
Thor and Banner failing to resurface had started to seriously trouble all of them.    
  
In the meantime however, Tony hadn’t failed to notice just how well the Steve and Bucky relationship worked; how openly casual they were with each other, how easily banter flowed between them, the careful way they regarded each other’s feelings, and assessed the other’s mood.  
  
It was amazing to witness just how much more happier Steve genuinely appeared, especially so when Bucky was around. Steve’s entire aura changed, brightened. It was helped along significantly when Bucky became more confident in his skin, when he seemed better in control of his mind, when B.A.R.F. had begun to make genuine improvements to restore his more favoured memories.  
  
It was however, when Steve had found out, with Stephen Strange’s help, that the other soul mark on Steve’s wrist belonged to none other than Peggy Carter, that things had began to change. And not necessarily for Steve’s good.  
  
The brightness in his eyes seemed to dim and his expression was more forlorn when he thought no one was looking. It was obvious that he was missing Peggy; the universe had decided that they were ‘made for each other’ then had cruelly taken her away.  
  
_Oh you sweet, unlucky boy_ , Tony thought on miserably as he looked at the two threads around Steve’s wrist; the word _domum_ , Latin for ‘home’, repeating in-between them.  
  
But then there was Bucky.  
  
Bucky who had grown considerably over the last few months. A Bucky who seemed to shine the more he reconciled with who he used to be, shined the greater his confidence grew, cared about people in a way that was very selfless.  
  
The one and only Bucky who Steve loved unconditionally, more than anything else in the world, would burn that very same world for, if it was ever against Bucky.  
  
And there was not a doubt in Tony’s mind that Bucky loved Steve just the same. Tony had seen their memories, _experienced_ them, so he finally knew that there was no Bucky without Steve, there was no Steve without Bucky.  
  
So to simple old Tony Stark, the answer was straightforward. Steve and Bucky were _meant to be._  
  
They just needed help to finally acknowledge it.  
  
“Honey, I’m sorry,” he finally spoke up, drawing Steve’s attention back toward him. “I’m sorry she’s gone. Aunt Peggy was a great woman.”  
  
Steve smiled sadly back at him. “I sometimes forget that she was your Godmother. I know she would have loved you with all her heart.”  
  
Tony laughed under his breath. “She did. And Jarvis too. They practically raised me.”  
  
Steve’s expression turned even more sullen. “I’m sorry about Howard, Tony. I found out too late how he treated you. If Peggy had ever known, she wouldn’t have - ”  
  
“Hey, enough of that,” Tony interrupted. “I’m done with feeling sorry about the past… And so should you Steve.”  
  
“I… What?”  
  
Tony let out a sigh. “I know you miss her. I do too. But Steve, you have to realise that Peggy Carter lived a full life. She had a husband, she had her own children, grandchildren. People that loved her, just as much as she loved them. She was able to move on… and ended up being happier for it. So why can’t you?”  
  
Steve looked like he was being torn apart, opening and closing his mouth a few times, but words failed to surface. He looked away from Tony.  
  
Well this was it then… “I can tell how you feel about Bucky, Steve. It’s kinda obvious.” Steve’s gaze immediately shifted back to Tony, shock registering on his face. If his reactions kept shifting so quickly, Tony was afraid he would get whiplash.  
  
“What… what are you talking about?”  
  
“You love him. And not just as your best pal.”  So many expressions filtered across Steve’s face in that instance - and yep, there was the whiplash - loss, fear, uncertainty, heartache, longing; everything Tony had come to associate with Steve over the past few weeks.  
  
Tony had expected to hear vehement denial, and claims of him being delusional; what he hadn’t expected was resigned defeat, as Steve’s shoulders slumped. “Why are you doing this Tony?”  
  
Tony didn’t skip a beat. “Because I want you to be happy. The _both_ of you.”  
  
Steve let out a barely-there laugh, without any humour. “Bucky Barnes has always been a skirt-chaser. What would make you think he’s into fellas?”  
  
“I don’t know if he’s into fellas, Steve. But I can tell that he’s into you.”  
  
“And how is that Mr. Stark?”  
  
“Because he looks at you the same way Pepper used to look at me.”  
  
A dry sob escaped Steve’s lips; his blue eyes flickering between each of Tony’s. “ _Oh Tony.”_  
  
“How are you able to break my heart so much?” Steve eventually whispered into the room.  
  
“That’s not what I’m doing here, honey. I’m trying to help you because I care about you.”  
  
Steve took in a shuddering breath; tears threatening to spill from blue eyes. “I don’t know what to say to him Tony. The thought alone, paralyses me with fear.”  
  
Tony shifted to clasp Steve’s shoulder, urging the blond to look back at him, from where his gaze had fallen back to his hands. “At the end of the day, he’s still your friend Steve, and he’s always going to love you no matter what. Your friendship can survive anything, history has shown just as much. You just have to start somewhere. And a good somewhere is talking about your own feelings.”  
  
When Steve said nothing else, Tony persisted. “Isn’t it worth taking the chance? For a chance at genuine happiness, at a chance to feel whole?”  
  
At this, Steve’s soul-bond had started to glow a subtle gold, as if in agreement with Tony’s words. Tony didn’t even want to think about why his own mark, hidden from all eyes, was reacting to that.  
  
“That’s strange,” Steve looked at the glowing mark in puzzlement, “it’s only ever done that once before, when Bucky was around.”  
  
Tony, fearing that it may have something to do with him, did what came naturally - he deflected. “Well that’s probably because we’re talking about him, and your soul-bond recognises the sentiment I’m trying to make. You can’t hide from yourself Steve.”  
  
Steve appeared resigned in that moment, taking in a long breath, thumbing the glowing mark. “What do I do then Tony?”  
  
“Just talk to him… I’ll do the same,” Tony offered.  
  
The engineer felt it like whiplash again, when Steve’s demeanour suddenly became hopeful. “You will?”  
  
Tony nodded. “I told you, I want what’s best for the both of you. I'll do anything to help you.”  
  
Steve reached over and hugged Tony close, right into his chest, inhaling deeply. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I feel like I’ve only ever been unkind to you.”  
  
Tony chuckled at the reaction, feeling his heart warm at the gesture. “There, there you big lug,” he replied, hugging Steve back.  
  
“I want you to be happy too, Tony,” Steve whispered into his hair.  
  
“I will be,” Tony promised, running his hand along the length of Steve’s back in a comforting gesture.  
  
_I’m pretty sure I will be._  
  
  
—  
  
  
“Hi.”  
  
“Hi yourself.”  
  
Bucky smiled warmly at Tony from the entrance of his workshop, before he proceeded to walk inside. “Friday said you wanted to talk to me. Should I be worried?” the soldier teased the engineer, when he got close enough to Tony’s bench.  
  
“Depends, what will you do to appease me?”  
  
“I can think of a few things,” Bucky responded, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
  
Tony couldn’t help but laugh. God, Bucky could be ridiculous when he wanted to be, and it never failed to amuse Tony.  
  
“Now, now Bucky-Bear, I’m just not that kind of gal.”  
  
A smirk stretched Bucky’s full lips. “Sure you aren’t.” He then proceeded to give Tony a tight hug and a kiss to the crown of his head, before pulling away.  
  
“So what’s up? I was gonna swing by tomorrow anyway, but when Friday contacted me, I came straight here from the mission.”  
  
Tony could tell, given the soldier’s appearance. He was still dressed in his black leather uniform, though his face had been washed off of any dirt or grime, which surely would have accumulated, given that his mission had been carried out at a quarry. That was where the smell of soot had come from.  
  
“Seriously Barnes, you didn’t have to come straight here after the mission. Tomorrow would have been fine.”  
  
Bucky frowned. “I was worried.”  
  
Tony laughed again, patting Bucky on the cheek. “If it was ever anything important, I would have asked you to come straight away… Not that this conversation isn’t exactly important…”  
  
Bucky grabbed a hold of Tony’s hand when the engineer had begun to move away; his expression now morphed into one of concern. “Tony, what’s going on?”  
  
“Easy soldier.” Tony gently pried off Bucky’s fingers, before smiling reassuringly at him. “I just wanted to talk… about you…”  
  
Bucky’s eyebrows drew together in response, waiting on Tony to elaborate.  
  
Tony moved toward the couch in the workshop, taking a seat, before patting the space next to him, much in the same way he had drawn Steve into a conversation.  
  
Bucky appeared reluctant to move at first, but eventually conceded, sitting down to face Tony; still seemingly waiting on an explanation.  
  
Tony swallowed slowly, before proceeding. “I know that B.A.R.F. has worked well for you and you’re definitely on your way to becoming you again - ”  
  
“What is this about Tony?” Bucky interrupted; unease appearing to ooze out of his pores, “Just cut to the chase, you’re making me really nervous.”  
  
Tony was surprised. “You have nothing to be nervous about. This conversation isn’t anything scary.”  
  
“Really? Because you just said that I’m on my way to becoming me again. But I thought that you knew that that isn’t possible. I can no longer be the same man that I used to be seventy years ago - ”  
  
“Bucky, I _do_ know that.”  
  
“Are you sure? Then why does this conversation feel like you’re breaking up with me? - ”  
  
Tony did a double take. “What? don’t be ridiculous.” They weren’t _breaking up_ because they weren’t in a romantic relationship. Though the engineer supposed he understood the sentiment.  
  
“Am I here, just so you can tell me, that you’re not going to help me with my memories anymore? Or that somebody else is going to do it?”  
  
Tony was definitely taken aback at this revelation. How had he lost track of the conversation so quickly? What a mess. “No, no, no, no, no, Bucky, _no._ That’s a thousand percent what this conversation is _not_ about.”  
  
“Then can you please get to the point, before I have a complete internal meltdown?”  
  
_Urghh,_ Tony had thought he gotten better at talking to people; clearly he still needed some work.  
  
“Okay, okay… What I really wanted to get to… was how you are doing in your personal life?”  
  
Bucky stared at Tony for what felt like far too long before responding with, “What?”  
  
“Your personal life… Your romantic life?”  
  
The contortions that Bucky’s facial muscles made, as his expression shifted from one to the next, would have won gold at the Olympics. “You want to know who I’m _sleeping_ with?”  
  
“No, _god_. What?… Well maybe - but it’s not like that. It’s uh…” Wow, superb job there, Stark; A-plus work, truly brilliant. Slow clap for the fucking moron in the house.  
  
The corner of Bucky’s lip twitched. “If you really wanted to get into my pants Mr. Stark, you just had to ask.”  
  
Tony smacked the side of Bucky’s right arm in response; the tips of his ears burning, for having completely messed up the conversation. He was seriously an old embarrassment.  
  
“That’s not what I meant you asshole, and you know it.”  
  
Bucky laughed outright, clutching his stomach. “Okay, I’ll admit, I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore.” The soldier giggled behind his hand a few more times, before attempting to address Tony with somewhat of a serious face. “Then why exactly do you want to know about my ‘romantic life’, _lapochka_?”  
  
Tony took in a few steady breaths, before replying with, “Because I feel like Steve could be a part of it.” Welp, there it was.  
  
It was a simple statement, yet given how quickly Bucky’s expression fell into one of shock, the gravity of its sentiment was not lost.  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“I’m talking about you and Steve, and happily ever after.”  
  
It was few long moments before Bucky spoke again; his posture completely statuesque. “Why… why… I don’t understand.”  
  
Tony inhaled sharply. This was not going to be easy. Well, had to rip the band-aid off in one go, as the saying went. “You guys, your history, your experiences, your love for each other, it’s significantly profound. It’s survived everything the universe has throw at it.”  
  
Bucky was incredulous. “The _universe_?”  
  
Tony nodded.  
  
A light seemed to switch on behind the soldier’s eyes in that moment. “Is that what this is about? Our soul-marks?”  
  
Tony tilted his head from side to side. “Yes and no. Your soul-marks have just brought to life, something which is obvious. That you’re _meant to be_.”  
  
Bucky scrubbed a hand along his face, as if attempting to scrape off imaginary dirt; the hand only stopping when it had combed multiple times through his hair. He turned doubtful grey eyes toward Tony again. “And what do you know of my feelings Tony Stark? How do you know what I feel about him?”  
  
_Because I can feel it inside me_. Of course that was not the response Tony went with. “Because you would do anything for him. And he would the same for you.”  
  
The ex-sergeant continued to frown, looking back at Tony meaningfully. “I would do a lot of things for the people that are close to me.”  
  
“Not like this. Not like with Steve.”  
  
When Bucky said nothing else, Tony pushed on. “What about Romanoff then, do you have feelings for her?”  
  
The soldier’s reaction was immediate. “What? No. She’s like my family. She’s been through the same thing as I have. I feel an attachment to her. But then I have an attachment to all the Avengers in one way or another. I certainly have one to you.”  
  
Tony felt his breath hitch; his mark itching against his skin.  
  
“And besides,” Bucky continued, “wasn’t it you who said that she’s still hung up on Dr. Banner?”  
  
Tony shrugged. “Well, he’s not here… but yeah, I get your point.”  
  
The engineer sighed when Bucky still appeared to be struggling with himself. “Listen, I’m not forcing this on you. I’m not going to _force_ my opinion on you. I’m just going by what I can see and what I feel would end up being the best for two of my friends. I know it may not be apparent to you, but the rest of us can see how the two of you interact with each other, and it’s not the same. It’s not the same as any one of us interacting. It’s not the same as how any one of us look at each other. It’s not the same as when I look at Rhodey or vice versa.  
  
“Your friendship is strong enough to survive any obstacle. If this doesn’t work out, then you’ll still love each other, still care about one another, that will never change. Then why not take the small risk, for something that has the potential to be great, that could make you both happy?”  
  
Bucky was silent again for some time, getting up off the couch before looking back down at Tony; furrow between dark brows still in place. “What about you? I thought you didn’t _believe in this crap_?”  
  
Tony clicked his tongue in frustration. “You’re quoting me wrong for starters. What I meant was, that I don’t believe some higher power, whatever it may be, should get to decide what somebody means to you in the greater context of existence. You should be able to decide that for yourself, and you should be able to make decisions for your own life, despite how anyone else may influence it. That thought has not changed. But I’m not saying this because he’s your soulmate - I mean that’s why I get so upset with him when I realise he’s still hung up on aunt Peggy, and uses her as a reason to not want to move on.  
  
“But with the two of you…it’s - it’s _real_. Your relationship has not only survived it, but transcended time! Bucky you only need to look into your older memories to know exactly what I’m talking about. Tell me you don’t notice the way that he looks at you? And what it means?”  
  
“But if he’s still hung up on Carter…”  
  
“That’s because he thinks he can’t have you.”  
  
Bucky mimicked Tony’s frustration. “How do you _know_ this Tony? You’re doing a heck of a lot of guessing.”  
  
“I talked to him about it.”  
  
Bucky was stunned. “And he… and he admitted…?”  
  
Tony only looked back at Bucky with conviction; expression serious. That was answer enough for the soldier, as he closed his eyes, breathing slowly.  
  
It was a few moments later before he spoke again. “If we were _meant to be_ , then why don’t you have a soulmate? Why did the universe cheat you out of one?”  
  
“I don’t feel cheated,” Tony replied firmly. “Again, I don’t think this is… something that should be decided for you. And I guess I’m glad that the universe left it up to me.”  
  
Bucky was determined in his arguments. “But you deserve somebody as well. I refuse to believe there’s nobody out there for you.”  
  
Tony did not relent. “There was… and we didn’t work. I can’t blame the universe for my mistakes, for why the relationship fell apart. I loved her but it wasn’t enough. I get that now. I mean, Pepper’s wrist is blank as well, does that mean that she doesn’t deserve anybody?”  
  
“Of course not.”  
  
“Exactly.” Tony nodded. “She can choose her own path and so can I. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about you and Steve and what is obvious to me and everybody else, if I’m perfectly honest. We can all see it, now it’s up to you to take the chance, Buck.”  
  
At hearing that nickname, Tony could feel Bucky’s heart rate pick up. The mark on the man’s wrist started to glow much in the same way Steve’s had. Tony’s own started to burn.  
  
“What the hell?” Bucky looked down at his wrist, perplexed at the sight. “That’s new.”  
  
Tony was startled by the statement. “But Steve said that - ” The engineer had to cut himself off, catching himself in time.  
  
Bucky looked directly at Tony, eyes narrowed. “This has happened to Steve before?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s- he’s mentioned it…”  
  
The soldier still looked unconvinced. “What does it mean?”  
  
“I think it might have something to do with when you think about the other person, when something reminds you strongly of them. Maybe calling you ‘Buck’ did it? He’s the only one who really refers to you as that.”  
  
_Liar_ , Tony’s brain screamed at him. He ignored it.  
  
The mark on his wrist burned in response. This pain was definitely a lot more intense than the one he had felt when with Steve; that had been somewhat of a mild irritation in comparison. None of this made any sense to Tony but his mind was suddenly on red alert. He needed to leave.  
  
Now.  
  
Tony was off the couch within that moment, ignoring the throbbing in his wrist. “Listen Bucky, this decision is quite clearly yours to make, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something that you aren’t comfortable with. I only implore you to think about it and talk it over with Steve. Talking _does_ actually help.”  
  
Before Bucky could respond, Tony had started to move toward the elevator, gesturing to the soldier. “You should clean up. You’re starting to stink.” When Bucky frowned at him, Tony forced out a laugh. “Seriously though, go home and get some rest, you have a lot to process. And besides, I have two members from the Oversight Committee coming over in about an hour, to go over certain classified topics. I should get ready for the old farts.”  
  
Bucky seemed to look right into Tony’s soul as his gaze lingered on the engineer, sky-rocketing his internal panic. Where Tony thought he had finally been caught out, Bucky instead nodded in acceptance before moving toward the elevator as well. He paused briefly next to Tony, leaning down to kiss his cheek, lingering for a second before pulling away. “Thank-you.”  
  
No more words would form in Tony’s mouth, the pain in his wrist intensifying, so the only thing he could offer Bucky was a small, hopefully encouraging smile.  
  
When the elevator doors had finally closed behind Bucky and he was on his way down, did Tony pull up the sleeve of his undershirt. He immediately proceeded to remove the stealth technology covering his mark.  
  
The inky-black skin that should have greeted him, was instead glowing an intense gold.    
  
—  
  
It was three weeks later when the Avengers were gathered at the base, following their visit with the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. regarding Myanmar, was when Steve and Bucky first went public with their newfound relationship. It wasn’t anything overtly in anyone’s face; just an innocent gesture of holding hands on the couch, comfortably in front of everyone while Coulson debriefed them on the Ambassador’s report.  
  
Of course everyone else heckled them though, teasing them in every extreme, but the rest of the Avengers happiness at the two finally getting together was unmistaken. Sam and Clint gave them the most shit, especially when it came to needling Bucky, while Natasha tried very hard not to be amused by their antics.  
  
Tony however… Well, honestly speaking, Tony couldn’t have been happier. Not when Steve’s eyes met his across the couch, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. Tony waggled his eyebrows at him, following it up with a wink. It had been worth it to see Steve’s face scrunch up in a silent laugh, cheeks tinged pink. He finally seemed completely whole.  
  
Bucky on the other hand, seemed much the same as he had always been - calm and confident, still giving as good as he got; though any time his eyes happen to meet Tony’s, they always appeared to be searching - searching for answers to questions he only knew of. So it shouldn’t have been to any surprise when the man attempted to not _directly_ look at Tony nowadays.  
  
Tony still didn’t know quite how to feel about that.  
  
“As I was saying,” Coulson carried on, eyeing both Lang and Barton in a clear sign of warning as the two morons were busy annoying each other, “the Ambassador wants us to - ”  
  
But before the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. could get any further, a flash of green light suddenly appearing further along the living room, had all the people gathered in the room up on their feet instantly, swivelling in the direction of the interruption; each in their own defensive stances.  
  
“What the hell?” was barely picked up by Tony’s ears; his entire focus on the people that appeared from the direction of the green light.  
  
“Hi Tony.”  
  
“I guess we have some explaining to do.”  
  
The group was headed by Hill and Fury, also revealing Bruce, Thor and,  
  
“ _Loki…_ ”  
  
“He’s coming,” Thor addressed the room at large, “Thanos is coming.”  
  
  
—  
  
  
_Three months following;_  
  
  
Tony hadn’t believed it.  
  
Not at the time.  
  
He could still hardly remember it.  
  
The Avengers had managed to push back Thanos’ army and retrieve the gauntlet.  
  
The gauntlet carrying the infinity gems which the Celestials had entrusted Tony with.  
  
He recalled walking through the tear in space to chase the retreating Thanos down; Loki by his side.  
  
_“You don’t have the power to do it, human,”_ the titan had laughed at him, when they had eventually found him. Even in defeat, the monster had refused to bow.  
  
Tony had certainly felt unworthy to carry such enormous energy - he still didn’t understand why it had been him - but having Loki there with him had provided some sort of relief.  
  
Tony really didn’t remember what had happened afterwards, aside from the feeling of power thrumming within him; his mortal body unable to withstand it. Eventually it had become too much for him, the energy seeping out in a blinding light, like the exact moment when an atom would split, evaporating everything out of existence around him.  
  
He could vaguely remember screams - his own, reverberating within his soul.  
  
And then Loki’s.  
  
Screaming.  
  
Screaming.  
  
_Screaming._  
  
Screaming for him, for Tony.  
  
Tony had thought he had died; his chest feeling like it had been torn open. Though his eyes had opened nonetheless, after what had felt like an infinite amount of time.  
  
Everything around him had gone. Thanos’ ship, his fleeing army, Thanos, Tony’s suit… Loki.  
  
_Loki._  
  
Was gone. Tony had tried to call for him but could not find his voice.  
  
He had then walked through the tear in space and fallen straight to earth.  
  
He had survived. Loki hadn’t.  
  
_Why?_  
  
The others on earth had had many questions for him, but Tony could hardly provide more that what his memory had to offer.  
  
Tony hadn’t been able to face the grief in Thor’s expression.  
  
When he had eventually made it to his makeshift home - makeshift, because a lot had been sacrificed in the ‘Infinity War’ - panic, grief, fear, and a cacophony of other tumultuous emotions had overwhelmed him.  
  
As he had lain on his bed, ripping apart his under armour with his _bare hands_ , he had seen something that had made him think he had finally gone insane.  
  
The feeling of having his chest ripped apart had been accurate, as the sight that greeted him was that of a giant gash running along the centre, flesh exposed.  
  
Which should have killed him, but hadn’t.  
  
The insanity of it was… was that it was mending _itself_.  
  
His breaths had come quicker, his mind unable to think of anything else but,  
  
_How?_  
  
He had survived. Loki hadn’t.  
  
Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want you to be aware that Tony’s actions are based on what he thinks is right, or what he perceives to be reality (which may not be a hundred percent accurate); other people may not necessarily feel the way he believes.


	2. And At Most I'm Sleeping All These Demons Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song, 'Ghost,' by Ella Henderson.

  
_Present; August 2018;_  
  
“Silence! I will have silence in the dómi herbergi. SILENCE.”   
  
The golden gavel in the dark-skinned hand went down hard on the dómari’s desk, immediately lowering the chaotic volume of voices in the room to hushed whispers instead.   
  
The dómari’s head shifted in the direction of the two guards standing by the grand doors, which lead down to Asgard’s heavily protected prison holds.   
  
“Bring in the prisoner,” he commanded; his lips thinning on the last word.   
  
The two guards nodded briefly in unison before lifting the magic that allowed the opening of the doors. It took both of their combined efforts to heave apart the fourteen-feet high oaken wood, pulling on enchanted silver chains to keep themselves from falling. It took a few moments of manoeuvring before the guards retrieved the prisoner from behind.   
  
As soon as the prisoner was in sight, the voices in the court room began to pick up momentum again, rising in pitch, with someone in the audience yelling out, “traitor!” in obvious contempt. This seemed to incense the dómari once again; the Asgardian judge bringing down his gavel repeatedly. “I said silence! I will not ask another time.”   
  
The prisoner bore chains, much the same as the oaken doors did, around their hands and feet, as they were heralded into the room; eventually being forced to take stand behind a podium, for all gathered to openly ridicule them with their eyes. The accused however, was unable to offer defence as their mouth was sealed behind a muzzle.  
  
The dómari assessed the accused with barely held disdain in his dark eyes before his attention moved to the far left of the room, toward the members who were seated in the arena of the Grand Jury.   
  
The dómari cleared his characteristic low-pitched voice before addressing them; the representatives of the Celestials made up of a disfigured man hiding behind an exoskeleton, his synthetic humanoid disciple, a Zenn-Lavian alien, and a goddess of earth.   
  
“The Council of Representatives, I, Dómari Asmund of this court, will now call upon Saksóknari Lamont to make his case for the people of Asgard and Midgard against the accused. Lamont will provide every evidence he has compiled against the accused, which you as the Grand Jury will be asked to deliberate over.   
  
"The accused may have a representative of their own to stand as a character witness; however, if the accused or their representative fails to provide sufficient defence, and is found guilty by your hand, then the punishment of this failure, on behalf of crimes against Asgard and Midgard, will be,   
  
“Death.”   
  
The odd stillness in the room that followed the domari’s revelation lasted only for a fraction of a second, before being overcome by the eruption of cheers.   
  
  
—   
  
  
_Five weeks prior; June 2018:_

  
The silver ring was smooth.   
  
That was the first thing Tony had noticed about it; save for the fact that along its circumference ran a never-ending ‘infinity mark’.   
  
What that meant exactly, Tony was yet to decipher.   
  
He pondered about its origins as the index finger and thumb of his right hand, felt along the surface of the metal on the ring finger of his left. Had it manifested after the destruction of the infinity stones, or when Tony had fallen to earth?   
  
The miracle, or more accurately, the mystery, of Tony’s survival still kept the engineer up at night as he fought vehemently with his memories, to bring to light the events leading to the end of the Infinity War.    
  
Though the engineer was certain about one thing.  
  
As Tony’s eyes shifted up to stare at the afternoon sky, he acknowledged that his subconscious always brought him to a single point - the rip in the universe.  
  
He didn’t have long to ponder this however, as a familiar face settled in his periphery. The engineer attempted his best smile when Rhodey sat down across from him at his table at Fleur’s coffee shop.   
  
“Hey.” Uh oh. Tony’s best friend didn’t sound all that happy. “What’s going on with you?”   
  
Tony sighed internally.   
  
He had known this conversation would be coming a while ago, seeing as he had become less than social, and seemingly uninterested in virtually anything, since his ‘fall’.  
  
Though in all honesty, Tony couldn’t muster enough of _anything_ inside of him to care by this point; his attention consistently heading in another direction.   
  
“What do you mean?” was Tony’s nonchalant reply, which appeared to, as expected, irritate Rhodey even further.   
  
“You haven’t been out and about in like three weeks Tony. I’ve _barely_ heard from you. Gone back to being a hermit again?”  
  
Tony should have felt offended by that, and about three months ago, he might have, but now… He really couldn’t take offence, not when he knew Rhodey’s words to be true.   
  
He shouldn't blame his friend for being concerned, considering Tony’s previous self-destructive tendencies - and just looking at his friend now - the tired dark eyes, the slumped shoulders that seemed to carry the burdens of the world, the still unsteady gait, made Tony’s heart constrict for Rhodey.   
  
These were among the reasons why Tony had let Rhodey be. If Tony couldn’t make sense of his own mind, there was no conceivable way he was going to overload Rhodey with his troubles.   
  
“I’ve been around,” said Tony, which sounded much more defensive than he had intended.   
  
“Really…?” Rhodey’s left brow raised in obvious scepticism. “Ever since you fell out of that portal over a month ago, you haven’t been the same.” The inflection in Rhodey’s voice only mirrored his growing frustration. “You can’t lie to me and say you have! You’ve been reclusive, unresponsive…”   
  
“As opposed to how I normally am?” Tony replied sarcastically, which entirely failed to amuse his oldest friend.   
  
“Cut the crap Tony. You know what I mean. _What’s going on?_ ”   
  
_What’s going on?_ Tony’s hindbrain piped up with. Well aside from the fact that Thanos’ army left a giant mess to clean, and Tony was still somehow alive, his body being able to fucking _mend itself_ , while the likes of the Mad Titan, his army and Loki were all dead? “Nothing,” was the answer the engineer went with instead, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m serious. There’s… nothing.”  
  
“Is that how it’s gonna be?” Rhodey replied, less than impressed, arms now folded tightly across his chest.   
  
“You’re overreacting Rhodes. There’s nothing going on.”  
  
“Really? Then why do your pals over there,” here Rhodey flicked his thumb over his shoulder, toward the table that was two seatings away, “give you the stink eye every time they look in your direction?”   
  
Tony mentally rolled his eyes. The group Rhodey was referring to were none other than the rest of the Avengers, who had decided to have coffee at the same place Tony had chosen, after their debriefing with Maria Hill. Though Tony supposed Rhodey’s point had been made, as he too had not failed to notice the rather obvious attention he was getting from his team.   
  
Tony really couldn’t blame them either for being worried, given that he always appeared to be spacey during meetings now, and generally refused any sort of gatherings with them. With the concerns that were weighing heavily on his mind, Tony wondered how long it would be before he could be comfortable around them all once again.   
  
It was somewhat amusing however, witnessing Rhodey attempt to bring them into conversation now, considering he had pretty much avoided being around the rest of the Avengers if he could have, after the fallout from the Civil War.   
  
Tony didn’t think Rhodey would ever be able to reconcile what he had once known about his ex-teammates, with what they had become, when they had failed to even consider signing the Accords; an act which had seemed like the morally just thing to do at the time to the Colonel.   
  
The corner of Tony’s mouth curved into a barely-there half-smile. “Maybe they just don’t like my face.”    
  
“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a terrible liar?” Rhodey scoffed, cutting right through Tony’s bullshit.   
  
Tony pretended to consider the thought. “Mmmm… Not really. I usually hear the opposite.”  
  
When that failed to get a response out of Rhodey, whose scowl only deepened, Tony sighed. “Seriously, you’re worried about nothing. I’m… fine,” Tony continued, the last word slipping out as casually as he could muster.   
  
“I mean I’m alive right? Thanos is gone, his army is gone. What else could I, _we_ , want? I mean we’re sort of getting back on track. The… clean up’s been a nightmare but… I guess we’re used to it by now. Besides,” Tony attempted to deflect, doing what he did best, “don’t you have things to worry about on your end?”   
  
“You’re changing the subject.” The attempted defelection obviously failed to work on Rhodey - somebody who was far too used to Tony’s methods of communication by now.  
  
“ _I’m not_. Isn’t what I’m saying true though?”  
  
“What I’ve got going on my end is no more important than what you’re doing, what you _have_ been doing. And that still doesn’t mean I don’t have time for you. Or that you shouldn’t have time for me.”  
  
Tony took in a deep breath, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll make more time.” Here, the engineer made sure to look directly at Rhodey, attempting to convey at least somewhat sincerity. “I promise.”  
  
What Tony had expected was that his friend would have ultimately relented at that, being appeased in the interim; what he had not expected was where the conversation headed next instead. “I know you and Loki had patched things up, _sort of_ … had a weird _bromance_ going on. But it’s not your fault that he’s… gone, Tony. If you’re still hung up on that, you don’t really have a reason to be.”   
  
Tony’s hackles were immediately up; his eyebrows drawing together in apparent displeasure. His heart had decided to beat faster against his chest in spite of himself; his fingers subconsciously thumbing the ring around his finger.   
  
Rhodey remained undeterred. “He knew what he was getting himself into. I mean he was the reason we had a ‘battle of New York’ in the first place. So… he knew his responsibilities and he knew his obligations. I mean even Thor recognises this - ”  
  
“Yeah okay,” Tony interrupted, becoming impatient with the direction the conversation had headed. He really didn’t want a lecture on the moral obligations of an ex-criminal. “It’s - we don’t need to go over all that. I’m fine. Okay?”  
  
“You know I worry about you Tony. Especially now that you don’t even talk to Bruce anymore.”  
  
Tony let out a bitter laugh, unable to help himself. “Bruce and I aren’t exactly B.F.Fs for life after he left me with the shitstorm of Ultron. But yeah - no, I get your point.”  
  
“What happened with Ultron - it wasn’t really his fault.”  
  
“Mmmm,” Tony nodded. “But apparently it was all mine.”  
  
The admission of Tony’s left a sour taste in his mouth, and for a moment it seemed like he wouldn’t be able to swallow past it, to continue his conversation with Rhodey, but then a familiar presence decided to crash their doomed party.   
  
“Hey… Tony… Rhodey.” Steve’s blue eyes lingered on Rhodey for about two seconds, before his entire focus was back on Tony.   
  
Tony assumed it may have to do with the fact that Rhodey hadn’t directly spoken to Steve in almost a year, which would likely make the Captain feel uncertain around him.  
  
“Um we were going out for lunch somewhere else, the gang and I… We wanted to know if you’d like to join us…? We haven’t really seen you around in a while…”   
  
The ‘we’, the causally dressed Steve was referring to, was the combination of Natasha, Wanda, Sam, the is-he-even-fucking-retired Clint, and Barnes. The likes of Carol, Pete, Banner and Thor had failed to make it. The last part of Steve’s statement hadn’t exactly been true as Tony had just seen them all in the debrief half-an-hour ago, but he guessed at what the blond had meant.   
  
Tony tried his best not to grimace as he answered Steve. “Yeah, I’ve been kinda busy. You know it happens when you clean up a mess of an intergalactic kind… and deal directly with the U.N…. kind of all by yourself. Takes up time.”  
  
Steve’s mouth parted; a furrow to his brow. “We... we _have_ been helping… Nat and I met with the U.N. representative last week. I mean - ”  
  
“Mmmm,” Tony casually replied, interrupting. “Yup… You _sure_ have been.”   
  
When Steve’s expression fell even further, Tony felt his still hidden soul-mark flare up in response. He sighed internally. He supposed that was a direct consequence of being an asshole. Immediate karma. The engineer figured he deserved it.   
  
Tony got up off his seat, momentarily eyeing the angry clouds gathering, as Rhodey followed suit. Tony glanced at Steve. “Uh no, sorry I can’t do lunch. I’ve got some other work to catch up on. I was just saying bye to Rhodey - maybe he’d like to join you? It’s up to him though.”  
  
The glare Rhodey sent Tony’s way at that had been worth it.    
  
“Yeah, no - I’ve got to get back to the Airforce as well,” Rhodey replied, his attention lingering on Tony. “It was good seeing you Tony. Be around when I call next time alright?”   
  
“Aye, aye Colonel,” Tony answered sarcastically; Rhodey snorting at the comment, before the ex-Avenger was on his way.   
  
“Captain,” Tony addressed Steve one final time.   
  
With a nod to the man, he too made his way off the premises at Fleur’s; ignoring all eyes following him as he left.  

  
— 

  
“He’s not coming?”  
  
Steve looked over at Clint who had a frown between his brows.   
  
“No…” he answered in barely concealed dejection.   
  
He didn’t understand why Tony withdrawing from them was bothering him _this_ much, but it really, really was.   
  
Maybe it was to do with fact that they’d promised each other, all of the Avengers, to always talk things out now, lest it lead to another massive dispute.   
  
The idea that Tony would actually go back on his word, _hurt_. And after all the progress they had made…   
  
Steve had hoped that since Tony had been out to Fleur’s coffee shop today, making his first public appearance in weeks, that he’d finally accompany the gang to an outing…   
  
“Did the asshole say why?”    
  
Steve only shook his head at Clint, not even having the heart to chide him, unable to respond with the excuse Tony had given him; words feeling like they were stuck in his throat.   
  
“It’s fine.” It was Natasha’s voice that responded. “Leave him be. Come on Steve.” The redhead came up and linked her arm with Steve’s before pulling him toward the exit. “The rest of us can go.”   
  
Steve could do nothing else but follow her lead, as they made their way out of the coffee shop; the other Avengers following suit.   
  
  
— 

  
_Four weeks prior; July 2018:_

  
“Bruce… hi. I’m sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting?”   
  
“Oh Steve… No, not at all.”  
  
Bruce pulled away from the workbench in his lab; the space currently flooded with holograms of research material Steve didn’t have a hope of understanding. The projections that were hovering above Bruce immediately closed down after him as he turned to smile at Steve. “What can I do for you?”   
  
Steve walked further into the lab, coming to stand a few paces apart from Bruce. He had the sudden urge to fiddle with Bucky’s dog tags that were hanging around his neck, and he couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t as if the impending conversation was anything to worry about.   
  
“Uh, I just wanted to know if you have time, to talk about… Tony?”  
  
Bruce’s dark brows raised to his hairline at the question, surprise registering on his face, before his expression eased into one of _resignation?_ Steve couldn’t be sure, but Bruce did suddenly look a lot more tired.   
  
“I suspected this conversation would be coming.”  
  
“If you don’t want to it’s - ”  
  
“No, no. It’s fine.” Bruce smiled at Steve once again to reassure the blond, before taking a seat on a nearby stool, gesturing for Steve to do the same.  
  
Once Steve was seated as well, Bruce continued. “So what exactly regarding Tony did you want to talk about?”  
  
Steve did in fact fiddle with the metal chain around his neck this time, his fingers feeling sticky, before answering with, “Well… He’s been _distant_. After Thanos’ defeat and after his fall, he seems to be withdrawing away from everybody. Like he kinda doesn’t want anything to do with us? I don’t know - maybe I’m exaggerating, but it’s starting to bother me.”   
  
Bruce nodded in understanding. “Yes, I’ve heard this before. You’re not the only one who seems to feel this way.”  
  
Steve ran a frustrated hand through his still-damp hair. “Do you have any idea what we can do about it? How we can help? Has he told you anything?”  
  
Bruce’s responding sad smile only confused Steve. “No, he hasn’t… After my return from Asgard, we haven’t really spoken much.”   
  
Steve’s confusion remained. “I don’t understand. Why…?”  
  
Bruce sighed; removing his glasses to rub along the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think he’s really forgiven me for ditching him after Ultron.”  
  
“But that’s insane. Ultron wasn’t your fault.”   
  
“It wasn’t exactly his either. At least the entire blame shouldn’t have been dumped on him.”   
  
Bruce’s eyes travelled along the length of the lab, before focusing on a remote point on the floor.   
  
“I shouldn’t have run away,” Bruce admitted in a small voice, before conviction seeped through, and his tone became firmer. “I should have stayed. I was afraid of the consequences, afraid of hurting people again. But instead of facing my demons, I let Tony take the complete fall. I wouldn’t imagine that’d be something he would be able to just ‘get over.’”  
  
Steve was unconvinced. “But he forgave _me_ , Bruce. And I feel like I’ve treated him far worse.”  
  
“I don’t know if we can compare what we’ve done Steve. They’re very different. Besides, the two of you have had time to hash things out, while I haven’t been so lucky. By the time I’d returned, Thanos' army was on the way, which hadn’t left much time to talk about anything else.”  
  
Steve’s frown deepened as he looked back at Bruce, who seemed even smaller just in that moment. The blond struggled to believe that Tony would be harbouring any kind of ill-will toward Bruce, especially when, “Loki.”  
  
Bruce’s gaze returned back to Steve, brows drawn in confusion.   
  
“What about Loki? Tony seemed to have this…” Steve struggled with his words, unable to find the appropriate ones. “I don’t know what to call it, but… For all intents and purposes, he had seemed to at the very least _forgiven?_ what Loki had done? He’d openly communicated with him just fine.”   
  
The Captain’s skin prickled at the admission, and he still didn’t fully understand why.   
  
Maybe it had to do with the fact that Tony had been more receptive toward Loki, more than anyone else aside from Thor, and that just didn’t sit right with Steve.   
  
It wasn’t jealousy, at least Steve was sure it wasn’t. It was more like frustration - frustration at the fact that Tony had more easily accepted Loki, than compared to Steve, who it had taken months before Tony had even considered talking to again.   
  
“I think it might have something to do with similarities.” When Steve only blinked back at Bruce, the scientist sought to explain. “Tony and Loki, have both been victims of mind control. In Loki’s case, it had lead to Thanos and the Chitauris, while in Tony’s case, it had lead to… Ultron.”  
  
Bruce slid his glasses back on, blinking a few times to adjust his vision. “It’s also easier to forgive your enemies than it is friends, who you believe have betrayed you.”  
  
Steve had to look away at that, though he understood Bruce’s sentiment. Betrayal by friends and family would really cut anyone deep. And Tony was after all, _family_.   
  
Bruce’s pager suddenly beeping was enough to break the momentary quiet that had come over the room; the man frowning down at the device before eventually getting up.   
  
“I’m sorry to do this Steve, but I have to go. Helen and I have found a particular gene in a distinct group of individuals that may in fact revolutionise the world. She’s just gotten back results we were waiting on.”  
  
Steve got up off his stool as well, nodding at Bruce. “No, sure, go ahead. That’s not a problem.”   
  
Both men made their way toward the door, before Bruce paused to look back at Steve.   
  
“Now that we’ve talked about it, there is one thing that I should mention. There were times, late in the middle of the night when I would struggle to sleep, I would see them. That is, both Loki and Tony, out on the rooftop of Stark Tower. The times would have been anywhere between one a.m. to four a.m. I would see them from the communal lounge window before heading down to my lab, and they would still be there, hours later, when I went back up again.”  
  
Steve’s eyes widened at the admission, though Bruce carried on. “I have no idea what they talked about, only knew that they were very long conversations. Anything can happen within the span of a few minutes.”  
  
It was what Bruce said next that would have Steve overwrought with stress for the subsequent days to come.   
  
“If it’s any indication, it took Hitler and Stalin less than a day, to form a pact that changed the course of history.”  
  
  
—   
  


_Three weeks prior; July 2018:_

  
_One._  
  
 _Two._  
  
 _Three._   
  
Three hits.   
  
That was all it had taken for the reinforced punching bag to go flying across the length of the gym; Steve’s shoulders and chest heaving from the exertion.   
  
The first bag had taken ten, the second - six. And now, the third, had taken three. Yet Steve still felt infinitely frustrated, unable to find satisfaction at seeing sand flying everywhere; his effort feeling wasted as his thoughts continued to race.   
  
Tony. Tony. Tony.   
  
That’s all Steve’s brain could think about. His soul-mark appeared to mirror his increasing frustration as well, much to Steve's confusion.  
  
His friend was pulling away, potentially suffering, and yet Steve couldn’t do anything to help. He’d failed Tony once before. He’d be damned if he let that happen again.   
  
“Wow. I think I saw twelve more bags in the supply cupboard that haven’t been destroyed yet. Want me to get those for you as well?”  
  
Steve glanced at Natasha when she and Bucky came into his line of sight, unable to form any sort of warm greeting at their presence. He hated himself in that moment for that.   
  
When Natasha’s smile turned into an expression of concern, Steve had to look away.   
  
The redhead approached him carefully, while Bucky shifted to remove the punching bag from the floor. “Steve…” Natasha regarded him. “What’s going on?”  
  
Steve took in a strong breath, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the band on his wrist. “I don’t know what to do Nat.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Steve had to look back when Bucky joined them again; the man pausing to place a kiss on Steve’s cheek, encouraging him to elaborate.   
  
“About Tony.”  
  
“What about him?” Natasha urged, pulling both the soldiers by the arm, dragging them down to sit on the floor.   
  
Natasha’s question seemed to irk Steve for some reason. “You know what it’s about Nat. He doesn’t really talk to us anymore. And I don’t know how to help him.”  
  
Natasha bit the bottom of her lip, either to stop herself from immediately answering, or seeming to ponder the statement. That seemed odd to the blond.   
  
Though it was Bucky’s voice that had Steve’s attention next. “If he doesn’t wanna talk to us, then so be it.” The nonchalant way Bucky had said that was enough cause for outrage, but the shrug of broad shoulders that followed was the nail in the coffee.   
  
“What? What are you talking about?”   
  
Bucky seemed like he was attempting to school his features into an indifferent expression. ““Well if he doesn’t wanna talk to us, then he doesn’t wanna talk to us. You can’t force him into a conversation."  
  
Steve was genuinely taken aback by the comment. What was Bucky’s problem? “What’s going on with you…?” Steve asked the other super-soldier, unable to hide the incredulity in his tone. “And him?”  
  
“There’s nothing going on,” Steve’s partner replied defensively.   
  
Steve was unconvinced, his vexation only getting stronger with every word. “ _Are you sure?_ Because ever since Bruce and Thor got back from Asgard, you’ve been distant. You guys barely seemed to talk to each other afterwards. You’re telling me nothing’s going on?”  
  
“No.” The simple response had Steve subconsciously grinding his teeth. _God_ , Bucky could be frustrating at times.   
  
“Then why won’t you guys talk to each other now?”  
  
Bucky’s defences finally seemed to crack, as he replied in equal fervour. “He doesn’t wanna talk, then what am i going to do?”  
  
Before Steve could reply however, Natasha’s hand on his thigh had him directing his attention back toward her. “Listen Steve, I think James is right. We just need to give him some breathing space.”  
  
Steve thought that that was utter bullshit, because it was a hundred percent what Bucky was _not_ saying, though Natasha was obviously unaware of this so she continued on.   
  
“He’s been through a lot. _Again_. And whatever happened to him on the other side, we’ll never really know, especially if he claims that he doesn’t remember himself; neither do we know how the power of the infinity stones affected him.”  
  
“But then isn’t that the _whole point?_ That we shouldn’t leave him to himself, that he might need support?” Steve answered, gesturing wildly with his hands, as if that could somehow convey his words with more conviction.  
  
The redhead became defensive at that; her green eyes stormy. “You don’t know Tony Stark as well as you think you do.” Steve’s jaw went slack at that, though Natasha soldiered on. “And before you protest, I only mean, that the guy is mentally cluster-phobic. If you try to smother him when he’s attempting to deal with things on his own, his instinct will tell him to flee. And that’s the last thing that we should ever want.”  
  
“Okay _firstly_ , I take offence to the fact that I don’t know him. Secondly, I thought that he’d matured past what you’re accusing him of Romanoff; that he understands now that communication is the way. That was our whole deal after reconciliation.”   
  
Natasha definitely looked annoyed now, and if her tone was anything to go by, then Steve had hit a nerve. “And yet he brushed you off when you asked him out to lunch with us, and has been doing so for the past few weeks?”  
  
 _Wow Romanoff. Way to hit below the belt_.   
  
“He said he was busy…” Steve replied; his tone sounding petulant to even him.   
  
This seemed to irritate Natasha even further, her voice rising a few octaves. “Then what is this conversation _even about_ Steve?”  
  
Steve had to look away from the woman once again, coming to rub his eyes with the heel of his hands. He just couldn’t understand why his friends weren’t _getting it._ Sure Tony used to be like that in the past, not that he and Steve had exactly been best friends back then, but so much had changed in recent history.   
  
Tony had now come to be one of Steve’s closest friends. The man who had helped shape both his and Bucky’s future. Hell, if it weren’t for Tony Stark, then Bucky would still likely be under ice.  
  
That’s what Steve really couldn’t understand, as his eyes eventually found Bucky’s steel-grey.   
  
He and Tony had not only worked things out between the two of them, they had become like family. Bucky had become so protective of Tony at times, that Steve had wondered if he was still the man’s best friend. But where Steve would have felt jealously, he had only felt reassurance that his best guy, and best pal, were getting along so well.   
  
Tony had in fact been the one to get both Steve and Bucky together, for God's sake! Something that had made Steve so incredibly happy. Then what had changed? And so suddenly? The frustration of it all, made Steve want to cry. He was so desperate to understand just _what_ had gone so wrong?  
  
“Are you two just going to give up on him then?” He asked of his friends in dejection.   
  
Natasha’s features softened somewhat at Steve’s expression. “No, that’s not what we’re doing. We’re just giving him space, like he clearly wants. And when he’s ready to talk, we’ll be the first ones there. We just don’t have to resort to herding him into a corner, and forcing him to do what we want, like a trapped animal.”  
  
Steve’s eyes flickered back to Bucky who had gone completely quiet, his own eyes drawn to the hands in his lap; a sullen look on his handsome face.  
  
Steve felt a hollowness in his chest as he observed the man, his soul-mark glowing in response on his covered wrist.   
  
  
—

  
_One week prior; July 2018:_

  
_The room was dark; the walls seeming like they were closing in._  
  
 _There were many people present, but in this sequence of events, the focus only seemed to be on two men._  
  
 _“I’ve never seen that before. It’s a nice ring.”_  
  
 _Heterochromic eyes shifted to regard Stephen Strange; their owner's expression guarded. “Thanks,” passed from Tony’s lips. “It belonged to my mother.”_  
  
 _The pale walls, darkened by the night sky did in fact shift, drawing closer, yet none of the people gathered in the room seemed to realise or even notice._  
  
 _“Did you just happen to find it?” There was something knowing in Strange’s tone, something only he and Tony Stark appeared to be privy to._  
  
 _The walls shifted again, the ground rumbling in response. They were too close now._  
  
 _Too close to everyone there._  
  
 _Too close to Tony._  
  
 _Someone had to warn Tony._  
  
 _The walls were too close._  
  
 _Yet nobody made a sound._  
  
 _Tony Stark only nodded his head at Stephen Strange, his throat working, before his eyes returned to the front, focusing on a faceless figure; Tony’s fingers subconsciously running along the expanse of the metal ring._  
  
 _The walls moved._  
  
 _Stephen Strange continued to observe Tony._  
  
 _Steve tried to scream. He had to get Tony out of there. He had to help him. Had to save him._  
  
 _The walls moved._  
  
 _Steve screamed._  
  
 _No sound came out._  
  
 _The walls moved one final time._  
  
 _And Tony Stark was gone._   
  
  
Steve suddenly woke with a start; his pulse ringing in his ears. His heart was going a mile a minute, his breaths coming quick.   
  
He stayed in the same position for a few minutes, attempting to calm himself down; brief flashes of the nightmare still trying to overtake his mind.   
  
The soldier rubbed a hand along his face, wiping sweat from his brow, before he slowly lifted himself from the bed. The clock on the night stand read five-forty a.m.   
  
His blue eyes turned to regard the figure on the other side of the bed; Bucky’s half-naked body peaking out from under the sheets. Steve took comfort in the fact that Bucky was there with him; warm, soft and beautiful. Steve’s pal, his life-partner, _his soulmate_.  
  
Steve understood why his soul-mark would glow at thoughts of Bucky, though that still failed to explain why it had been glowing from before he had been woken from the nightmare.   
  
This was all starting to stress him out too much, so Steve decided to have a shower, officially starting his day.   
  
Under the spray of the water, the visions of the nightmare kept assaulting him, making Steve desperately scrub at his skin, as if that would somehow scrub it from his memory.  
  
What had it all meant?   
  
The events of the nightmare were eerily similar to what had taken place two weeks ago, when Stephen Strange had joined the Avengers at the base upstate. Apparently ‘magical activity’ had been detected at a chapel in Greece which had warranted an update with the Avengers.   
  
In that meeting, the exact same conversation that Steve had witnessed in the nightmare, had taken place between Strange and Tony. The interaction had seemed benign back then, but now… the flashbacks of walls closing in on Tony sent chills up Steve’s spine. It’s as if his subconscious was trying to warn Steve of something his mind just couldn’t quite grasp.   
  
The soul-mark on Steve’s skin burned at the acknowledgement.  
  
Frustrated with himself, Steve cut his shower short, walking back into his shared room with Bucky, with just a towel around his waist.   
  
He sat by the edge of the bed, next to Bucky’s thighs, running a hand along the soldier’s warm back while Bucky continued to sleep on his stomach.   
  
Steve felt blessed having Bucky back in his life, sane and whole, as he watched the soft expression on his partner’s face. He was safe, and he was all Steve’s.   
  
The Captain’s heart constricted at the thought. They had come so far from the days of chasing each other, now being so comfortable as to hug, hold hands, kiss, _share heat…_  
  
Steve’s cheeks warmed at the thought. They still hadn’t gone very far, done _that_ just yet, as close intimacy was something they were taking their time with.   
  
It was not for a lack of want though. No, that wasn’t even remotely close to the case. Because, _God_ did Steve want; ache with the need of it sometimes, especially in times when he was alone with just the comfort of his hand.   
  
But Steve wanted it to mean something when they eventually made it there, wanted it to be special to both him _and_ Bucky. He really didn’t want to rush into anything…   
  
He didn’t quite know whether it should scare him or comfort him - the idea of just _how much_ Steve loved Bucky. The feeling was overwhelming, especially when Bucky did things like, just as he did now, stir from his slumber - still half asleep, search for Steve’s hand, before linking their fingers together and bringing it to his lips; whispering a, “good morning,” and, “come back to bed.”   
  
Steve’s heart ached and ached and ached.   
  
As Steve leaned down to kiss Bucky’s cheek in order to lull him back to sleep, lingering for far too long, he knew that he would do anything for the man. Anything at all.   
  
Yet, despite taking immense comfort in Bucky’s presence, in _Bucky_ , the thoughts of Tony would just. Not. Leave. Steve. Alone.  
  
What was happening to his friend? Why couldn’t Steve help him? What was his subconscious trying to warn him about? The fact that Steve hadn’t seen Tony in over a week now, didn’t ease the anxiety that was starting to build in the blond’s chest.   
  
Where was Tony Stark?  
  
  
—   
  


_Two hours prior; August 2018:_

  
“A little further to the left Vision.”  
  
Steve watched from the sidelines as Sam directed Vision in his attempt to shift the final tiles back into place, of one of the labs at Avengers base, which had taken the biggest hit after the fight with Thanos.   
  
“Yeah, that’s perfect.”   
  
The android, now without a mind-stone, had required many days recuperating, with Helen and Bruce using as much of their expertise as they could to keep him alive, after the loss of the stone. The stone, in time, had apparently integrated with Vision’s life-force, so the removal of it had been an unforeseen blow.   
  
Steve was silently thankful that the android was still around.   
  
Vision floated down, hovering a few centimetres above ground to observe his work, moving to help Wanda do the same on her side, once he was satisfied.   
  
The last couple of days had been pretty intense for the Avengers; a lot of them having to do P.R. work as part of their continual assurance to the public that everything was under control.   
  
The P.R. work also involved constant relay of footage that the ‘supes’ were doing whatever they could to help rebuild not only New York, but the rest of the world. That’s why Carol and Hope Van Dyne were currently in Algeria helping with the clean up, as well as making multiple media appearances.   
  
Despite their efforts, a lot of naysayers still remained; many of them convinced that super-powered individuals were detrimental to society and should be incarcerated for all the destruction they had so far caused. One particular lady had stood out to Steve, a widowed mother, who had lost both her husband and brother during the battle of New York. She was currently the leading face of the Anti Superhero and Alien movement, or more commonly known as, the A.S.A.  
  
Steve supposed he really couldn’t blame them. It’s not like the Avengers’ hands were entirely clean. They still had a lot to answer for. Ordinary humans had seen far too much for them to just roll over and take whatever nonsense was handed out to them under guise of an explanation.   
  
While Steve was still learning on how best to deal with the public, and restore trust, people like Tony were already masters of the trade. The grace and intelligence with which Tony spoke to people, whether it be to civilians or figures of authority, was truly an art to witness. He could appease anyone’s concerns with just a few carefully considered words. It made Steve wonder how the man had even failed to convince him regarding the Accords over two years ago…   
  
But Tony wasn’t here - hadn’t been around for almost two weeks. The anxiety in Steve's chest clawed against his ribcage again.   
  
“How’s it look?” Sam asked Steve once he had jogged up to him, bumping him gently at the shoulders.   
  
Steve blinked a few times, to clear his thoughts, before attempting a half-smile. “Great. That lab should be back up and running in no time.”  
  
“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “The electrician said as much. Shouldn’t be long before they get everything going again. By the end of the week, I think she said.”   
  
Steve hummed in response, watching Vision help Wanda land gently back onto the ground; his hand at the small of Wanda’s back.   
  
Huh. That was new.   
  
Though when Wanda smiled shyly back up at the android, Steve thought it might not in fact be all that new. He suddenly had a very embarrassing flashback to Howard, Peggy, and fondue.   
  
“Uh-oh.” It was Sam’s uneasy tone that made Steve revert his attention back to the man.   
  
Sam only tilted his head toward the driveway. “Look who just pulled up.”  
  
Steve vaguely remembered seeing the car once before, but before he could ponder long on who it had belonged to, the door of the Audi opened and out walked, “ _Pepper?_ ”   
  
Uh-oh, indeed.   
  
When he realised the woman had no smile on her face as she made her way up the asphalt toward them, Steve’s uneasiness only grew.   
  
“Pepper… Hi,” Steve heard himself speak when the redhead got close enough; Sam mirroring the gesture from next to him.   
  
“Captain Rogers. Sam.”   
  
Steve sighed internally. Guess they still weren’t on the best of terms then.   
  
Natasha and Bucky, who had been sealing up minor holes along the side of the lab building, having spotted Pepper, made their way over; followed not long after by Wanda and Vision.   
  
“Pepper, it’s good to see you.” Natasha opened her arms, enveloping the taller woman into a hug, though the gesture wasn’t as enthusiastically returned by Pepper - if the stiffness in her shoulders was anything to go by.   
  
The C.E.O. of Stark Industries gave a tight-lipped smile in return. Natasha had obviously noticed Pepper’s less than inviting demeanour, backing off almost instantly; a furrow between her brows.   
  
“What brings you by?” Steve eventually asked, seeing as Natasha seemed unable to do anything else but frown up at Pepper, evidently upset.  
  
It was clear that Pepper still harboured resentment, however big or small it may be, toward the Avengers that she would have felt like, had betrayed Tony Stark; her former lover and closest friend. Where Tony had forgiven them, Pepper Potts had not.   
  
“You are my last resort,” Pepper answered, her mouth appearing like it was barely moving. “Believe me, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t desperate.”  
  
“Miss Potts,” Vision interrupted, concerned. If there was anyone that Pepper didn’t hold accountable and seemed to tolerate, it was the android. It may have to do with the fact that he was J.A.R.V.I.S’ incarnation, or because he had spent the most time at Stark Tower after the fallout from Civil War, having kept Tony company in the interim. “Is everything alright?”  
  
“Tony’s missing,” Pepper let out all in one breath, her eyes landing on Vision, before looking back at each of the Avengers gathered, most of them who had shock registered on their faces at the statement.   
  
The revelation to Steve however, was like a punch to his gut. “What do you mean? How can he be missing?”  
  
“You tell me,” was Pepper’s bitter response. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of him for a week-and-a-half now, without any success. Every time I try and ask F.R.I.D.A.Y., she gives me the same response - that Mr. Stark is ‘away on business and chose not to be contacted.’ Now generally I would leave it be, but he hasn’t taken any form of communication with him, nor has he taken any of his suits. I checked. They’re all back at Stark Tower on lockdown.”  
  
Steve suddenly felt like there wasn’t enough air to breathe around him; the edge of a knife being forced into his chest.   
_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no._ This couldn’t be happening.   
  
This _couldn’t_ be happening.   
  
“I’ve contacted everyone I know,” Pepper continued, her blue eyes turning to ice, “that might have some idea about where he could have gone, domestic or international. None of them have heard from him. Not a single person. Some of them not having heard from Tony in months. Rhodey has no idea either.”  
  
The woman took in a shuddering breath, as if attempting to calm herself down. “So I ask all of you now. Where is your teammate? Where the _goddamn hell is Tony Stark?_ ”  
  
Steve had no idea exactly when it had happened, but something inside him finally snapped. He turned furious eyes toward Natasha and Bucky.   
  
“Are you two fucking _happy now?_ ” he threw at them. “Is this what you wanted? What was that about herding animals and corners, Romanoff?”  
  
Natasha had gone pale, while unbeknown to Steve, Bucky had started trembling.   
  
“Steve, hey come on, there’s no need to be like this. We’ll find -”  
  
Steve jerked Sam’s hand off when the man attempted to placate him. “No! I can’t believe I listened to any one of you. _God_ , Tony could be anywhere by now. He could have been taken by unknowns and -” Steve had to stop himself from continuing, as he was becoming increasingly distressed by his own words.   
  
The vision of walls closing in started relentlessly attacking his mind. _Ohgodohgodohgodohgod_ \-   
  
It was another hand on his arm, much firmer this time, that had Steve looking up into steel-blue eyes.   
  
“Steve, I love you, I really do. But you seriously need to shut the fuck up.”   
  
It was when Bucky’s eyes travelled to Steve’s wrist, did the blond realise what was happening. His soul-mark seemed to have taken on a mind of its own, glowing such an intense gold, that Steve realised he had never seen that happen to him before. When his eyes travelled the distance, Steve noticed that Bucky’s own was doing much the same.   
  
_Shit_. Steve suddenly realised that his panic may not be entirely his own.  
  
“Miss Potts,” Bucky regarded Pepper with an urgency to his voice, “We’re going to do everything we can to find him. He has sensors in his wrist right? The ones that can call for the suit? We can use those to try and track him -”  
  
“They’re destroyed,” Pepper interrupted. “When the power of the infinity stones were released, somehow, and I still don’t understand why, the sensors were destroyed. That would have been one of the first things I would have done if it had been a possibility.”  
  
The anxiety which had taken root in Steve’s heart roared in retaliation.  
  
The hand on his arm tightened, before Bucky pulled it away. The man seemed to be breathing a lot faster; any cool he may have had crumbling before Steve’s eyes.   
  
Steve’s soul-mark burned against his wrist.   
  
_What was happening?_  
  
But before Steve could finally fall apart, verging on hysterical, a sound that resembled that of a whirlwind had everybody turning their heads toward the immediate roof of the base.   
  
Steve recognised that sound, and the strong gust of wind that followed it.   
  
Thor!  
  
Surely enough, within seconds, a harrowed looking Thor jumped down from atop the roof, before hurriedly making his way towards them. Pepper seemed slightly alarmed at how quickly the God of Thunder was moving.   
  
Though that hadn’t been what had initially taken Steve’s interest - despite his overblown panic. It was the disheveled way the Asgardian appeared - hair and beard unkempt, the pallor of his skin, the untidy attire. It was obvious that whatever had warranted the God’s appearance in this state, was likely dire.   
  
“Thor what - ”  
  
“It’s Loki,” Thor answered even before the question had completely left Steve’s mouth.   
  
“What about him?” Sam asked in alarm.   
  
The apprehension on Thor’s face was unmistaken, as he relied with, “They’ve found him. They’ve found Loki.”  
  
There was a collective gasp that went around the group, even Pepper had become discomposed. Steve couldn’t believe it… How was that even possible? Tony had said -   
  
Though before he could even think about anything else, Thor unloaded an even bigger revelation on them. “That’s not the issue here though,” he elaborated, “It’s Tony Stark.”  
  
Pepper’s face had turned ashen as she asked, “What about him?”  
  
What Steve was going to hear next would be the ultimate manifestation of all his recent fears coming true.   
  
“He’s about to risk his life to save Loki’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is going on with Bucky? Also wtf Bruce?


	3. If God Don't Follow Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song, "If G-D Don't Follow Me,' by Trubdr. Adam Road

_Ten days prior; July 2018:_

 

 

It was odd for him.

 

Being back here again, staring directly into the vast chasm of the universe with a celestial alignment different to that of the earth’s.

 

Tony still didn’t understand why it felt so odd, given that he looked up at this rip in the skies on a daily basis, from every vantage point that he would find himself at; whether it was a secluded coffee shop somewhere along the streets of New York, or directly from the rooftop of Stark Tower.

 

Watching, observing, wondering…

 

 _Obsessing_.

 

What exactly had happened here, all those months ago? Before he had quite literally fallen from grace?

 

He had survived the encounter with Thanos. Loki hadn’t.

 

_Why?_

 

He needed to _know_. It had begun to drive him insane. The thoughts of that fateful day would just. Not. Leave. Him. Alone.

 

Taking a deep breath, and knowing that this may have the potential to go catastrophically wrong (especially since no-one had any idea he was here), Tony made his way through the tear; suit of armour, a protective shield around his body. He could feel a force pulling at his core, as if leading him in along an invisible thread connected directly to his heart, his _soul_. Tony suppressed the urge to shiver.

 

He stopped not too far along the entrance, at directly the point where he and Loki had encountered Thanos attempting to flee, with what had been remaining of his army. The visual images of the interaction had been permanently seared into Tony’s brain; the memories coming forward in an unstoppable rush to the surface of his mind the longer he floated along the cold dark space of the starry heavens.

 

Tony could feel the pounding of his heart accelerating in place as the visions assaulted him - Thanos challenging him, his voice like gravel, taunting even in defeat. He recalled feeling the power of the Infinity stones surging through the gauntlet on his hand, thrumming through his person, taking hold of him. He remembered seeing into Loki’s terrified green eyes, appearing almost black in the darkness.

 

Tony felt his breaths coming fast, much in the same way anxiety had demanded it in the past, as the memory of power leeching out of him before consuming everything in a blinding white light, attacked him mercilessly. It had been in that very moment that Tony had felt as though his body were being ripped apart, pulled in opposite directions by large celestial hands, a pain so intense he had never experienced before; though immediately afterwards, he had felt another foreign energy enveloping him, almost protecting him from the power surging through the Infinity stones.Tony, who had squeezed his eyes shut at the distressing memory, attempting to calm his breathing, slowly blinked them open again.

 

The foreign energy.

 

At the time, the engineer had thought that it may have been the Celestials who had protected him with their infinite power, though now… The longer he thought about it, the more convinced he was becoming that it may have not been the Celestials at all; especially given the fact that the energy had felt f _amiliar_ somehow, not foreign like originally thought. It had been cold, very cold, like ice in his veins, fighting against the all consuming fiery power of the stones.

 

No it couldn’t be.

 

Couldn’t _have_ been.

 

And yet… Tony was alive.

 

And Loki was not.

 

Supposedly.

 

The longer Tony stayed in the same position, not once moving, the more familiar the presence all around him became, almost consuming him.

 

He was alive, adorning this peculiar alien ring around his finger; one that he could not remove no matter how hard he tried, as if the damn thing was sown onto his very flesh (had to explain away as belonging to his mother), and Tony was now convinced it had something to do with Loki.

 

It had to explain why Tony’s attention was consistently drawn toward this point in space, why the thoughts of Loki wouldn’t leave him be. The Jotun _had_  to be alive, he was somewhere out in this deep abyss, his very soul was calling out for Tony.

 

And Tony wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he at the very least didn’t look for him.

 

It was time to find Thor.

 

—

 

One week prior; July 2018:

 

 

“I’m sorry, _what?_ ” The grey-haired alien with scales for skin, turned his attention to address the figure on the right. “All-Father, I thought the Celestials had made it clear, only to request for Council for situations of the upmost importance.”

 

Odin cleared his throat, sharing a look with his son, before focusing his lone eye on the speaker. “I understand Representative Kooma, but after having counsel with my son, Thor,” here Odin directed his attention momentarily to address a stony-faced Thor, “And his friend from Midgard, Anthony Stark, whom I find it prudent to state as a reminder, was the one who the Celestials themselves had chosen to wield the gauntlet, and was ultimately the one who had brought down the Mad Titan’s demise, I believe the matter is likely of importance.”

 

The blue-skinned figure narrowed his eyes. “I know exactly who you are Anthony Stark of Midgard, and that is why I’m going to humour you, this one and final time. You believe the Jotun Loki is still _alive?_ ”

 

The sarcasm in the representative’s tone was not lost on Tony, who suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “I do.”

 

“And what proof do you have of this?”

 

“I can feel it,” Tony responded matter-of-factly.

 

The representative’s expression became deadpan. “You can feel it.”

 

“Yes…”

 

“Would you care to elaborate?”

 

“With respect, Representative,” Thor spoke up, seemingly frustrated with the pace of the conversation, “It was Tony Stark that was there with Loki in his final moments, and he believes that Loki is the reason he was able to survive the power of the Infinity gauntlet. There’s no better person to be able to determine who may or may not have survived.”

 

“You survived,” Kooma told Tony, “Because you were entrusted with the power of the Celestials.”

 

“Yes, but the Celestials did not imbibe him with their own power,” Thor argued, “They made it so, that he would be able to wield the Infinity gauntlet. They made no guarantees that he would be able to survive it, they knew this and so did Tony. That is why Tony Stark is known to be more resilient, respected and trusted than most men - because he has consistently proven himself to make sacrifices.”

 

Tony wanted to snort at Thor’s claims. _Way to give a guy a big head there buddy._

 

“A sacrifice,” Thor continued, “The Celestials trusted him with. That’s why they chose him. To put the lives of the many before his own. My brother went with him because he had likely foreseen the consequences. Ever since he had escaped Thanos’ control, he had felt nothing but remorse and guilt, and wanted to do whatever he could to make it right. I was there when he confessed this all. He knew what he was getting himself into. He knew that it was very likely that he wouldn’t have come out of it alive. Yet he still went. And now I firmly believe it was to help someone he had made a connection to, on Midgard of all places, and I know he walked through that portal to protect his friend, Tony Stark.”

 

Tony suddenly felt queasy hearing Thor confess all of this so openly, without the slightest reservation. He honestly didn’t know how to feel about it all. Yes he and Loki had grown close over the past year, but would Loki have genuinely gone through that tear in space, for _Tony_? To protect him? The guilt that had been clawing at Tony’s sternum once again reared its ugly head.

 

“I understand why you would be concerned for your brother, why you would want to attach yourself to the slightest bit of hope that he would be alive, despite your turbulent history, you are family after all,” Kooma countered. “Though all you have provided me in terms of evidence is conjecture, and unfortunately that is not enough for any representative among the galaxies to begin a search party, especially not for somebody who was well aware, as you suggest, of their impending death.

 

“My apologies for your grievances, sincerely, but there is not more I can do for you. Farewell young Odinson, younger still, Anthony Stark. And to you All-Father. Please may I remind you to only contact me in the future strictly for emergencies.”

 

Watching the alien figure begin to walk away from him, felt like a knife being forced through his chest, though Tony Stark was not one to give up. “Wait!”

 

The Representative of the Celestials turned his head back to look at Tony, more in annoyance than a direct acknowledgement. Tony stalked forward. “I have proof.” The alien face before Tony contorted into an expression of confusion. Tony breathed in, held his breath and pulled forward his left hand. “You see this ring?” the engineer flexed his ring finger where the silver metal sat, an infinity mark engraved along its surface; shining occasionally as it caught the light of the setting sun.

 

“I didn’t have this before my encounter with Thanos,” Tony elaborated. “I only noticed it once I got out of the suit, after my fall. I’ve never seen a ring like this before in my life.” Tony could practically feel Thor’s confusion rolling off of him, from behind Tony, seeing as he had been among the people who had been fed the, ‘It belonged to my mother,’ lie.

 

“I can’t take it off, I can’t do anything with it. But I can _feel_ it’s presence. I can show you… You’ll be able to feel it too.” Tony slowly approached the representative, who had not moved from his spot, seemingly enraptured by what Tony was explaining.

 

A blue hand crept out from under grey robes as Tony stepped closer, finally running scaly fingers along the surface of the metal.

 

Kooma’s reaction upon touching the ring was immediate; the alien jumping up with a gasp, and pulling away his hand as if he’d been burned. Yellow eyes stared back at Tony in disbelief, while Tony kept his gaze serious, waiting on bated breath.

 

The representative took a moment or two to himself, seemingly contemplating, collecting his thoughts and attempting to school his features back into an expression of nonchalance, though he failed on that part. His brows were still drawn together as his eyes flickered back to look between equally wary Asgardian gods.

 

Slowly, Kooma moved a few paces back away from Tony, nodding as he went. “Very well, Tony Stark. I will grant merit to this one concern of yours. _However_ , I cannot make any promises that the Celestials will absolutely act on this, though you have my word… that I will at least try to convince them.”

 

Tony released the breath that he was holding, feeling at least a fraction of his nerves ease. This was something. He could at least hope on this. Given the representative’s reaction, it may in fact lead to something, _anything._ “You shall hear back from me within a week’s time.”

 

With a final nod to all present in the room, the Representative Kooma made his way back in the direction of the greater heavens.

 

—

 

_ Twenty-four hours prior; August 2018: _

 

 

Tony had felt silly with the idea of waiting in Asgard until he heard further news. Yet here he was, waiting outside in a quiet spot near the grand gardens, just biding his time. He had meant to leave as soon as the council Odin had managed to arrange with a representative of the Celestials, seeing the Celestials themselves weren’t the ones to travel, had ended. Though heading back to earth, without finding out what the Celestials had decided, skyrocketed Tony’s anxiety. He knew that if he returned without any news, he would only end up obsessing once again, and he seriously wouldn’t be able to deal with any other problems that would (likely - because there’s always some goddamn problem) come his way.

 

So here he was.

 

Waiting.

 

And waiting.

 

Thankfully Odin had allowed him to say, encroaching on a small space on the still being built Asgard. The Goddess Hela, had done one hell of a job putting everything to ruin. Damage to great monuments and halls were visible to Tony in every which direction he went. He had offered to help while he was spending time there, feeling completely useless just watching the smiths build, but had been laughed out of the King’s Court by the All-Father. Tony still wasn’t sure if he should have felt offended by that. His guess was: probably.

 

Luckily the Asgardians had managed to get much of the important things up and running once again, though Tony surmised it would be a long while before Asgard was restored back fully to its former glory.

 

The sound of the winds changing turned Tony’s attention toward the sky, feeling the velocity of it increasing in the atmosphere around him. This was something else Tony had realised about himself. He was now able to hear things much further along in the distance, it was incredible as much as it was unsettling - the gathering of moisture in rusted pipes, coalesced drops of water singling out to drip from the surface, the _pitter patter_ of rain on rooftops three or four buildings down. It was a scary thought - what the consequences of these new found abilities could be.

 

Just as he realised what the cause of the disruption was, the one responsible himself landed on the footpath in front of Tony in a flurry of movement; his cloak billowing behind him before settling into place. Tony smiled up at Thor but as soon as the expression on the Asgardian’s face registered to Tony, his smile was instead replaced by a frown.

 

Thor hurriedly made his over toward the engineer, his eyes large, his breaths coming faster.

 

Even before the God’s mouth could change shape to form any words, Tony was up and out of his seat and, 

 

“- They’ve found him.”

 

Thor stopped a hairsbreadth in front of him, large hands shaking, blue eyes still large -

 

“Yes.”

 

—

 

_ Present; August 2018; _

 

 

Steve could feel blood rushing through his veins, the sound ringing in his ears as he followed Thor, manoeuvring his way around Asgard. He could hear footsteps behind him, feet landing loudly against concrete as the others matched their pace, taking a path toward the main Asgardian courtroom.

 

He couldn’t quite believe how the last hour or so had unfolded. Pepper Potts’ visit had set everything into haywire; the C.E.O. of Stark Industries and Tony’s former S.O. chewing them out for neglecting to realise that their teammate had up and disappeared.

 

Steve hadn’t even had enough thought left to explain to the woman, how concerned he had become over the past few weeks, to the point where he had become obsessed with trying to figure out what was wrong with Tony; being unable to think straight on most days given how consumed he would become with thoughts of Tony.

 

All of it had to do with some imminent danger Steve had been unable to name, yet felt Tony might have been in, but the super-soldier hadn’t been able to make sense of any of it. Why he had felt that way, he still couldn’t explain, though in hindsight that didn’t matter given that he had been _right._

 

He had been right to have been worried, he had been right to have been concerned with Tony’s behaviour. Something was wrong with his friend - Tony was withdrawing away from them, becoming reclusive, unwilling to be in their presence, obviously dealing with something heavy. Yet the rest of his teammates had wanted to leave Tony alone, as if that would have helped Tony somehow.

 

Despite Steve’s initial outburst of anger, none of it remained now, instead replaced with unrelenting fear as they ran behind Thor, following his lead, hoping to stop Tony in time from making a monumental mistake. 

 

“Here, through the left.”

 

Steve and the others pushed past doors that were roughly eight feet tall in height, before making their way into a large building, which Steve could only assume was the foyer of the courtroom.

 

It was unlikely it was anything but, given the number of people that were gathered around. The number was so overwhelming that Steve had nearly run into a burly Asgardian twice his size, as soon as he had entered the premises; Sam almost slamming into him from behind given how suddenly he had stopped. Thor had made his way somewhere to the front, where Steve had trouble seeing to, given his way was blocked; Thor having whispered something about taking a closer look before disappearing into the crowd.

 

Steve’s eyes searched the vast expanse of the foyer, feeling completely floored once he realised that there were Asgardians on the opposite end of the foyer as well, lined up all the way to the other door and further still, completely blocking the entrance.

 

Steve’s skin started to prickle from how close some of the bodies around him were, feeling claustrophobic with the mass numbers crowding him from all around. The super-soldier could only begin to imagine what Bucky was feeling from next to him. Whatever was taking place or was about to take place appeared to concern or hold the attention of many, many Asgardians, and possibly other creatures, Steve realised, noticing different species of aliens amongst the citizens.

 

“What the hell do we do now?” Sam’s voice came from close behind him, an urgency and underlying panic in his tone. Steve couldn’t pretend he felt any different. “We just have to wait for Thor, he should be back any second.”

 

“Shouldn’t we maybe move up?” Bucky asked from next to Steve, his tone much the same as Sam’s. If Steve knew anything, it was that large crowds and Bucky didn’t mix very well.

 

“Unless we want to get lost, we best stay put,” Natasha responded from Sam’s left, her voice better controlled than any of the men, unwavering and firm. Though when Steve’s eyes flickered over to her, her ashen face and drawn brows said otherwise.

 

Suddenly there was a loud eruption of cheer further along toward the front of them, the sound almost muffled as if coming from inside a room. The hairs on the back of Steve’s neck stood up; a chill travelling down his spine. That couldn’t be good.

 

“There must be doors up ahead that lead directly into the courtroom. We need to make our way there. That’s where Thor,” - and Tony, Steve’s brain supplied- “is likely to be.”

 

When Thor had told them all just under an hour ago, of everything that had happened over the past week, Steve’s blood had run cold.

 

Steve had suspected, a part of him _knowing_ , that Tony had not gotten over Loki’s death. But Steve had not completely understood, in it’s enormous capacity, why exactly that would be, had no idea. He had only suspected that Tony might’ve felt guilty at not having been able to save everyone, in true Tony Stark fashion - that was rather obvious given how long it had taken the engineer to finally be able to face Thor again.

 

Though now, Steve realised that in hindsight, he really didn’t understand enough. Bruce’s words about Tony and Loki’s supposed friendship clattered around in his mind, but Steve forcibly buried them as quickly as they had come.

 

There was no way Tony would risk his life for a mass murderer over _friendship_ \- there was no way the two could actually be friends. Steve internally scoffed at the very idea, his fists clenching at his side. There was something else going on. There just had to be. Their friend was somehow being coerced into this, and Steve was going to stop it.

 

Before Steve and the others made a move to go forward alone, Thor was already bounding his way toward them, clearing a path as he went, pushing bodies out of the way before motioning them to follow once again. “Quickly now.”

 

Steve, Bucky, Sam and Natasha wasted no time in following suit, picking up pace and ignoring the indignant bodies around them, that were throwing obscenities their way for pushing past and ‘cutting in line’.

 

As they neared closer to the front, Steve realised he had been correct in assuming that the courtroom was through a door, or rather a set of doors in this case, with half-length glass panes that allowed visibility into the room.

 

Even before Steve and the others pushed past the double doors, following Thor’s trail, Steve had noticed it’s vastness from the foyer. If he had thought the number of people outside was overwhelming, it didn’t even remotely compare to the masses gathered in the circular room of the court. The actual width of it would have been twice the size of the Colosseum.

 

The other Avengers obviously felt as stunned as he was, if the hitch in Sam’s breath and the tenseness in Bucky and Natasha’s shoulders were anything to go by.

 

“This way.” Thor tugged Steve’s arm, gesturing in the direction of some stairs before making his way over. Steve and the others followed Thor down one of the many stairwells that lead to the centre of the room, where the actual hearings took place, passing numerous rows of already seated citizens and non-citizens alike, separated by concrete boundaries that came to waist-length once seated; their collective voices ringing loud and strong inside the venue.

 

Once they descended the stairs that lead to the main floor, the Avengers followed Thor toward the front, much closer to where the proceedings were, though avoiding the main central isle, passing through the left side instead; Thor pausing near what looked like a deliberately empty front row, before taking a seat. Steve and the others looked around awkwardly, wearing different expressions of bewilderment. “Wait, _what_?” Sam whispered harshly, “We’re just gonna _sit down_? I thought we came here to actually do something.”

 

Thor frowned, shaking his head, before pulling Steve by the arm and forcing him down onto the seat next to him. “There’s nothing we can do just at this moment. We have to wait.” Unsatisfied with his answer, yet feeling like there was not much else they could do, the other Avengers reluctantly took their seats next to Steve.

 

Once seated, Steve’s attention was immediately captured by the movement of bodies toward the direct centre of the room, where it looked like the Judge’s desk was located. A man in billowing, floor-length golden robes and what appeared to be a traditional Sami hat atop his head, came to take a seat behind the desk from an entrance somewhere from the right of the room; a gavel, the same colour as his attire, sitting on the right side of the desk.

 

Behind the desk, further along the back and to the right, were short stairs that lead up to an expanse of Oaken wood, with enormous double doors that reached a corner end of the dome shaped ceiling.

 

In front of the row in the gallery immediately to the right of the Avengers, across the marble floored isle, there were three men gathered by a table, each in similar shades of green robes whispering discreetly to each other, before they all stood at attention facing the judge.

 

“Who are they?” Natasha’s concern did not go unnoticed as Steve and the others looked in the direction the redhead was pointing. To the far left of the room, even further along than they were, in what looked like an area where in human courts, the jury would go, (but instead of a box, the contained area was circular), four individuals had taken a seat along a singular row.

 

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed as his attention was immediately drawn to the figure, whose body looked like it was made entirely of gold, second to the left. Steve’s eyes suddenly widened in realisation. “That’s… That’s… Adam.”

 

“Warlock?” Natasha’s eyes, now incredulous, landed on Steve. The blond nodded in response. “Yeah…” There was no way Steve would ever forget meeting someone like that, especially not when they helped fight in the war against Thanos.

 

“Wait, you mean that’s the freaky dude who’s responsible for this soul-bond mumbo jumbo?” Sam asked in disbelief.

 

“Well, it wasn’t him exactly that caused that,” Steve replied. “It was the soul gem. But yeah, he was the original owner of it.”

 

“What the hell’s he doing here? And who are the rest?”

 

Steve and the others turned their attention toward Thor at Sam’s question for an explanation; the Asgardian only shaking his head in response. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

 

Steve, getting more frustrated with Thor’s lack of answers, focused his attention back toward the other members seated next to Adam. From where he was seated, Steve was able to make out that one of the gathered was a fair-skinned woman with waist-length ebony black hair and green eyes, an individual wearing red and silver metal armour that almost looked like an exoskeleton, and a bald-headed man with blue eyes, appearing taller than the others.

 

Steve’s eyes travelled above their heads, toward the top floor and further still, landing on a lone chamber to where the All-Father himself was sat; his expression hard and unshifting like stone. Well that was odd, Steve thought to himself, shouldn’t Odin have been down here taking part in the proceedings himself?

 

Though the blond did not have much time to think anything else, when the thunder of the gavel meeting a firm surface, drowned out the noise in the room.

 

“Silence! I will have silence in the dómi herbergi. SILENCE.”  It was the judge’s booming voice just then that took the attention in the room. 

 

Once the noise in the room seemed to dwindle down to acceptable levels, the judge’s head shifted toward the right and to the back of the room where the double doors were located, guarded by two Asgardian soldiers. 

 

“Bring in the prisoner,” the judge commanded; his voice authoritative in the vast expanse of the room. 

 

The guards proceeded to do as they were told, seeming to struggle with the doors for a few moments before they eventually managed to heave it open; the pair moving through the double doors, before retrieving the man who Steve had genuinely thought dead, from inside. 

 

Steve’s breath caught in his throat as the guards dragged Loki along by silver chains, before eventually pushing him to stand in place behind a podium. Steve spared a thought for Thor who had his fists clenched tightly in his lap; his ire surely stemming from the fact that his brother had been chained by the feet as well, while a muzzle covered Loki’s mouth. 

 

Steve struggled to pay attention to the screaming, obnoxious voices behind him that were hurling words of abuse and disgust at Loki mercilessly; his eyes focused on Loki’s jaded expression - the God of Mischief no longer holding any of his mischief. He looked utterly defeated. 

 

“I said silence! I will not ask another time,” the judge’s voice and the pounding of his gavel broke away Steve’s assessment of Loki, in order to focus on the dark-skinned man once again, who had now directed his attention toward Adam Warlock and the three others seated next to him. 

 

“The Council of Representatives, I, Dómari Asmund of this court, will now call upon Saksóknari Lamont,” here the judge gestured toward one of the men in green robes to the Avengers’ right, “to make his case for the people of Asgard and Midgard versus the accused. Lamont will provide every evidence he has compiled against the accused, which you as the Grand Jury will be asked to deliberate over.” 

 

The tone of the judge’s voice seemed to hold barely contained contempt, which Steve assumed could only be bad for Loki, if he was already a criminal in the eyes of the court. 

 

"The accused,” the judge continued, “may have a representative of their own to stand as a character witness; however, if the accused or their representative fails to provide sufficient defence, and is found guilty by your hand, then the punishment of this failure, on behalf of crimes against Asgard and Midgard, will be death.” 

 

The quiet in the room at the revelation barely lasted a second before the thunder of applause and cheers shook the room. Steve however, sat completely stunned. It was to no surprise that the other Avengers had similar responses; Natasha’s right hand coming to clamp down on Bucky’s hand; Bucky who it seemed to Steve like, had stopped breathing. 

 

Steve turned furious eyes onto an ashen-faced Thor. _“What does this mean Thor?_ You didn’t say he was going to be _sentenced to death_. How does this involve _Tony_?”

 

Thor’s teeth clenched hard, the Asgardian struggling to hold onto composure, before the god relaxed his jaw and spoke again. “What did you think I meant when I said, ‘Risk his life to save Loki’s’?”

 

“You weren’t exactly specific! But this doesn’t make any sense!” Steve wanted to shake the other man. “This is Loki’s problem. _No offence._ ”

 

Steve didn’t have any further time to demand Thor’s attention however, as the judge’s voice broke through the room again. “Silence! I said silence! No more of this or you’ll all be kicked out!” He focused his attention back onto the Asgardian wearing green robes.

 

“Saksóknari Lamont, if you will please?” The being in question moved away from the desk he was standing behind, nodding to his colleagues before taking the stage. He was a lanky man, taller than most Asgardians Steve had ever seen, with long dark hair platted down his back and eyes the shade of ice; his alabaster skin the colour of wax.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen of the court,” the man addressed the room at large, his demeanour ever so professional, his voice firm and confident, demanding of every person’s attention. “Dómari Asmund and the Grand Jury, I welcome you on this fine evening. My name is Lamont. I am the crown prosecutor here on behalf of my fellow Asgardians and the people of Midgard, to bring charges against the accused Loki, son of Laufey, who is on trial for the crimes that he has committed against both Asgard and Midgard combined.

 

“The man, the Jotun back amongst our civilisations, originally suspected dead. And of course, the stories are that he died for a noble course fighting the Mad Titan, but really we don’t have much proof of that occurring. As we all know, this individual _had_ in fact conspired with the Mad Titan to not _only bring down Asgard,_ in his own name, against his father’s wishes and behind his brother’s back, he invaded Midgard as well!

 

“For his own selfish desires he slaughtered thousands upon thousands of people. He alone is responsible for so much death and yet he gets a free pass because he’s what? A _prince_? The All-Father’s son? But no, _he isn’t._

 

“His bitterness and anger stems from the very fact that he is not one of us. He is _not_  an Asgardian. He never has been! He has the blood of the _Jotuns. The same Jotuns_ that have threatened to kill us many times before, even invaded our grand nation! Thanks to the All-Father their plans were thwarted but their disciple has continued to reign havoc down on our people, when we have been nothing but welcoming to the young _prince_  and he has been nothing but _malicious_ … _unkind_ … and downright _cruel._ ”

 

Steve could clearly see why the courts would have asked this man to be their prosecutor, given how easily he seemed to captivate his audience’s attention; his words calculated, succinct yet heavy - so clearly undeniable. Then again, Steve supposed it would be hard to argue against facts.

 

But _where was_  Loki’s counsel? Who was going to defend him? And more importantly where was Tony? How did he fit into a _ny_ of this?

 

“So I ask you today, ladies and gentleman of the court, members of the Grand Jury… the Dómari himself, does this individual deserve any kind of respect? Deserve any kind of pass for whatever fabled sacrifice he had made to fight against the Mad Titan? I don’t believe so. And his history wouldn’t suggest so. For all we know he could have been coerced to face the Mad Titan or the Mad Titan may have found the accused himself. He was the one who conspired with Thanos… and Thanos, judging by how much Laufeyson betrays his own kind, may not have appreciated it, and ended up taking out his anger on the accused.

 

“Tell me now, even if it was a sacrifice, _was it enough?!_ Was it at  _all enough_ to compensate for the lost lives of thousands? Of ours? Of Midgardians? It is because of this individual, him alone, that you had Dark Elves feel empowered enough to attack us, _to be in our own home_ , to unfortunately…. take the life of our own Queen Mother.”

 

Wow. Even Steve had to admit that that was a low blow, designed to hurt Loki and damage his image even further. The hurt that flashed in the Jotun’s eyes at the prosecutor’s words was hard to miss. Thor, still seated next to Steve, seemed to struggle to contain himself from making any sort of outburst. This really was a grave situation if even the Crown Prince of Asgard had to hold himself back.

 

The prosecutor looked behind him to directly address Loki; his expression merciless and unforgiving. “It is you, Loki Laufeyson who is responsible for all the tragedy that has occurred! You brought _Hela_ upon our doors…! And she laid _waste_ to our great nation. She ruined so much, that there are some places in Asgard we will never be able to completely restore. And it is all your fault… I suppose like father, like daughter.”

 

Steve flinched at that. An even lower blow. Ouch.

 

“This individual has done nothing but reign havoc and chaos all across our worlds,” the prosecutor continued, back to facing his prime audience again, “And who knows, possibly other parts of the universe as well? And if we were to be so naive again, to let him go, what would that say about our own characters? How many oppressions do we forgive? How many crimes against our people, how many crimes against humanity _do we forgive_? And what guarantee do we have, _if any_ , that this individual will not commit those very crimes all over again? In a selfish need for power? In his own greed, in his own ego, that he won’t make the same mistakes again…?! Catastrophic loss for us, but meaning nothing to him.

 

“Will he jump into another galaxy, into another world and tear it apart, join another mad titan? Really? Really Representatives?” Here, the prosecutor turned to face the four members of the jury, taking a few deliberate steps in their direction. “Can we trust this individual _ever again_? You represent the Celestials and even they know that this man cannot be trusted - that’s why they’ve brought you here… Because the accused is, unfortunately a prince of Asgard, he gets to stand trial but even the Celestials know, they _know,_ that the only punishment for Loki Laufeyson, should be death.”

 

The sudden eruption of cheers and loud jeering had Steve’s hackles up again. Steve had surely and justly hated the Nazis, the monsters of his time, but this kind of vitriol and hostility he didn’t think he had experienced so far. These creatures, that are completely alien to Steve, despised Loki with every fibre of their beings; a hatred Steve didn’t think he, himself, harboured for the man.

 

“Silence!” The gavel in the judge’s hand went down hard on his desk again; once, twice, three times, reverberating in the grand chamber. “Enough of this! Enough…!”

 

Dark eyes landed on the prosecutor’s pale. “Thank you Saksóknari Lamont, you have given us much evidence.. and certainly provided much to deliberate over. As you have mentioned, Loki son of Laufey, is still claimed by the All-Father, who is strongly of the opinion that Laufeyson is _still_ a prince of Asgard, therefore he has the rights of any citizen of Asgard. And that right as I mentioned earlier, was to a representative of his own. Nobody of course from the royal family, is to interfere, as well all know.”

 

Oh. So that was why Thor was keeping silent, which was contradictory to his nature; quite clear given the fact that the man’s fists were still clenched tight, knuckles drained white and jaw clenched shut. But if Thor couldn’t interfere, then what was the point? Is that why he had recruited Steve’s help? Could Steve say anything of behalf of Loki? But then what exactly would possess the blond to do that? There was certainly no love lost between him or the God of Mischief. 

 

“Though any among the citizens of Asgard,” the Dómari explained, “Are allowed to come forward and stake their name and reputation for the accused. Now I call upon this courtroom to ask you all present here, is there anybody willing, anybody willing at all to sacrifice their name and reputation to stand as a representative for the accused?”

 

The chorus of boos that followed, had the corner of the judge’s mouth twisting in a vicious smirk. Of course the way that he had worded his question, didn’t leave much to the imagination as to what would happen to one’s ‘name and reputation’, if they stood to represent Loki. God, they really were out for his blood. 

 

“I figured as much. Loki Laufeyson, you are hereby sentenced -”

 

“Wait!”

 

Steve’s heart slammed into his ribcage, stopping for the fraction of a second before running in overdrive again. That voice.

 

“Wait…” Out from the entrance to the right on the ground floor, past the rows of people seated, came a figure all of the Avengers recognised; their collective reactions at seeing the figure, being a suffocating mixture of fear and panic.

 

Tony.

 

It was Tony.

 

_Tony._

 

Steve’s eyes couldn’t leave the man as he made his way forward, coming to stand behind the desk where the prosecutor had initially been. Steve hadn’t known what to expect when he were to eventually find Tony. Would the engineer have been scared? Anxious? Stressed? Paranoid? Steve really hadn’t thought too much on it. He’d just known that his friend was in danger and Steve had to do everything within his power to save him.

 

However, what the blond genuinely had not expected was for Tony to remain…. pretty much the same? There were no tense shoulders, no fear in the dark eyes, no jerky movements, no unkempt hair or beard or clothes; just a placid demeanour and a serious look of consideration on the handsome face. Tony looked well rested and well presented - much the same as he always did.

 

Steve was momentarily struck by Tony’s presence that he’d gone speechless; an intense pain flaring up in his wrist at the sight of the man, though the blond had no time to think about why his soul-bond was suddenly responding to that, because what Tony said next raised alarm bells almost immediately again.

 

“I will stand as a representative…” came out of Tony’s mouth in a calm tone. “For Loki.”

 

The crowd was suddenly up in arms again; a mix of outrage and a chorus of ‘boos’ hurled in rage toward the proceedings.

 

Down went the gavel in the judge’s hand again. “Silence! Silence - be quiet!”

 

Grey eyes narrowed at Tony as the dómari assessed him; a look of displeasure on the Asgardian judge’s face. “Who… Are _you_?”

 

Tony cleared his throat, before his voice took hold of the court again. “My name is… Tony Stark. And I’m willing to sacrifice my _name_  and _reputation_ for Loki…Son of _Odin._ ”

 

Trust Tony to mock the judge of the High Court of Asgard in the same breath he defyingly defends a criminal. Steve was about to get out of his seat and vocalise just how ridiculous Tony’s plan was, when Thor grabbed his arm as if anticipating the super-soldier’s actions, shaking his head in the process. “If you say _anything_  now,” Thor whispered harshly, “We all get kicked out immediately and there’s not a damn thing we’ll be able to do about it then.”

 

Steve was chagrined. “Then what the hell do we do? I thought we came here to _stop_ Tony from doing something like this. Now we just _watch him do it_?”

 

Thor gritted his teeth, turning harsh eyes onto Steve. “You do not understand Asgardian law, especially of the court. Just _wait._ ”

 

The two blonds stared at each other, with varying expressions of irritation on both their faces, before their attention was captured once again by the proceedings when the dómari spoke again.

 

“You’re Midgardian?” the judge asked of Tony.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’ve heard of you. As most have. You stood against Thanos yourself. Elected by the Celestials to wield the gauntlet - you are that _Anthony Stark_?” The Domari’s eyes raked over Tony’s person as if the Asgardian was unsure why someone like Tony Stark would be here, let alone wanting to represent a criminal like Loki.

 

In all honesty, Steve was questioning the same thing.

 

“Anthony Edward Stark of Midgard - that is you?”

 

Tony’s response was swift. “Yeah, that’s me.”

 

“What are you _doing_?” It seemed like the judge was mirroring the mood of bafflement in the room; the voices around Steve having gone completely silent. The air of confusion was almost suffocating.

 

“Well… I thought it was kinda obvious?” Tony replied with a half-shrug. “Standing as a representative.”

 

It was in that moment that Steve’s attention was drawn to Loki; the god appearing to struggle against his restraints. His green eyes were large and fearful, focusing directly on Tony, warning the man, begging him it seemed, to stay away. Steve, for the first time in history, felt as though he shared the god’s sentiment.

 

“Well the person you seem to be wanting to represent,” the dómari chided, “Has some sort of an issue with the idea.”

 

“Well maybe if you’d, you know,” here Tony gestured with hands vaguely, “Didn’t muzzle the guy, he’d be able to speak? Just saying.”

 

“He’s not allowed to speak,” the Domari answered; his lips thinning on the last word.

 

“It’s not really fair. He’s standing trial…should get to have a say right?”

 

“We do not _bend the rules_  for criminals.”

 

Tony put up his hands in a display of surrender, mumbling out a, “I hear you.”

 

Bafflement still seemed to have a hold on the Asgardian judge, as he continued to look back at Tony.“You are really going to do this?”

 

“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

 

The dómari's grey eyes stayed on Tony for some long seconds, as if waiting for Tony to change his mind, but when no such change in opinion came from the engineer, the judge’s gaze focused on the members of the court instead. “Very well. Alright. Grand Jury, I present to you, _Anthony Edward Stark_ of Midgard who is _willingly_ going to stand as a representative for Loki, son of Laufey.”

 

In a gesture that was so much like Tony, the man threw a half-salute in the direction of the four seated in the jury box.

 

“Please approach the podium.” The dómari instructed Tony.

 

“ Saksóknari Lamont if you will.” The crown prosecutor, who had taken up space somewhere toward the back right of the courtroom upon Tony’s interruption, slowly moved toward the centre again at the judge’s request; his expression completely dumbfounded. 

 

The Asgardian seemed to take a few moments to collect his thoughts, as if struggling to understand the sequence of events that had just unfolded; his pale blue eyes eventually coming to rest on Tony. “I’m sorry I fail to understand- you are a civilian of Midgard…? You have stood against Thanos and countless others - yet here you stand ready to defend Laufeyson, when your world was invaded by the Chitauri lead by this man, _this very man?_

 

“The accused attacked your people, attacked your city, almost laid waste to an entire civilisation. And weren’t you the one who carried a weapon with enormous power into space, in order to save your people? Could have almost died because of this individual and yet you are here? Representing him? This makes no sense…”

 

From where he was seated, Steve could see Tony swallow slowly. “All the more reason that you should really listen to what I have to say.”

 

“Go ahead. I’m not going to stop you from speaking.” 

 

Tony took a small breath, then, “Loki’s the reason I’m still alive.”

 

There were collective gasps heard all around the room, though the gasp that came immediately to Steve’s left when Bucky flinched at the revelation, was the one to take Steve’s notice. 

 

“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him,” Tony reiterated, turning to face the Grand Jury.“I know the perception the world has of him… I know a lot about perceptions and false narratives. People have had a lot of perceptions about me throughout my entire life and some of them I can’t refute or fault them for. Because, they were right. 

 

“They used to call me the ‘Merchant of Death’ back home… and I still think that they were right. I created weapons of mass destruction - I mean I always tried to tell myself that it was for the right reasons, but at the end of the day, they were used to kill innocent people. I could justify it as being a means to protect your own civilians, your own kind, but in hindsight, it was all for war.” 

 

Steve could see the hatred Tony _still_ had for himself, always, _always_  brimming just below the surface, constantly attempting to spill forward and take a hold of his person in a never-ending cycle of self-blame and misery. It hurt Steve physically to see his friend, to this day, at war with himself. People didn’t give Tony enough credit to how the man fought to keep his self-loathing at bay, in order to focus on building a better future for _everybody._

 

“I mean we’re not literal gods like yourselves,” the engineer explained, “And I certainly wasn’t, but myself and the people I used to work with kind of played at being one. So I know about making mistakes, and I know about how to try and fix them, and so does Loki in attempting to fix his own.”

 

The prosecutor let out a sarcastic laugh, drawing Tony’s attention back toward him; a laugh in Steve’s opinion that rung too far and too loud in the courtroom. Steve resisted the urge to hurl himself out of his seat and punch the man. “I’m sorry, in what universe are we to believe that he has tried? His track record suggests otherwise, he certainly has no history of doing the right thing!”

 

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

 

“How so, Anthony Edward Stark, how so _am I wrong_? Is it not true that he conspired with the Mad Titan? Is it not true that he brought an entire army down to Midgard? To destroy you all, to enslave you all! Is that _not true?_ And that same Mad Titan turned around and brought an entire fleet - a Black Order that caused so much chaos, death, _death of your own friends!_  That man is responsible. How can you say that he is not?”

 

Steve and the others, including Thor, visibly flinched at the accusation. Even Tony’s expression hardened at the prosecutor’s words. The words which were callous but certainly not far from the truth. 

 

“I don’t know if I can justify every single death, you know. I don’t think I can. I can’t certainly justify the deaths that I’ve caused.” Tony paused for a moment, as if already aware of the consequences of what he was about to reveal next. “But Loki was mind controlled.”

 

And sure enough the reaction that followed was of vocal ridicule; the people in the courtroom shouting out their dissent, like the very idea Tony was suggesting, was entirely implausible. Steve shared some sympathy with the unanimous disbelief, as he himself struggled with that defence of Loki’s behaviour, till this day.

 

“I know you will struggle to believe me,” Tony continued, as if having read Steve’s mind, “…but it is the truth.”

 

“How would you know this?” the prosecutor, Lamont, scoffed. 

 

“The mind stone…” Tony explained, ignoring the cacophony of voices in direct opposition to him, from behind. “It was in his sceptre. The same sceptre given to him by Thanos. The same sceptre which he used to control Loki.”

 

Lamont shook his head in ridicule, his platted hair moving with the gesture. “You cannot honestly expect any of us to believe that.”

 

“It is the truth,” Tony persisted, his voice holding back any form of desperation. “Loki didn’t go down the road of wanting to enslave mankind. It was through Thanos’ influence. It was through mind control… and I would know something about mind control because I’ve had my head messed with as well. I know people who’ve had their heads messed with, and so they no longer possess the full capacity of cognitive thought to make the right decisions.”

 

Steve could feel Bucky shift in his seat, his anxiety radiating through the soul-mark in Steve’s wrist. Steve wanted to reach out to the other man, provide him some sort of comfort but worried how Bucky would react once he realised he wasn’t alone with the company of his thoughts. Then again, Steve’s soulmate was also privy to Steve’s own thoughts and feelings, which gave Steve (wavering) confidence to eventually rest a hand on Bucky’s thigh; gently rubbing a small spot without directly looking at the other man, in order to reassure him.

 

“Please tell me this is a joke,” Saksóknari Lamont cried out in snide. “You have no evidence to suggest that this individual here was under ‘mind control’, _mind control_  from the mind stone…

 

“I mean it certainly fits doesn’t it? The Infinity gem did in fact do that. It could control ‘the mind’ - people have used their power to enslave civilisations, to enslave en masse but you claim… that the accused was controlled by Thanos - was given the mind gem by Thanos!

 

“How did Laufeyson get it in the first place? Do you know what I mean? How did he _get_  to Thanos in order to be given the mind stone in the first place? He sought him out, yes? After his failed attempt at taking over Asgard, after betraying his own father, his own brother, attempting _to kill the crown prince_ , and you’re defending this individual?”

 

The voices in the courtroom had dimmed down once again when the prosecutor started hurling accusation after accusation at Tony.

 

“Say your bogus story is in fact true,” Lamont continued, his expression of disdain directed at Tony. “We’ll pretend right? Hypotheticals and all that. The accused still went to Thanos himself. He let himself be enslaved because he was that jealous, that spiteful that he would have gone to the Mad Titan, the most horrible of creatures in the universe and sought help from him. You are ready to defend that are you, Anthony Edward stark of Midgard?”

 

“No…” Tony shook his head. “I can’t. Not when you put it that way. What he did before running into Thanos was on him. Harming his family, bringing in Jotuns, attempting to kill his brother - I have no excuse for. “

 

“If you had no excuse for that, how can you possibly defend anything else?”

 

“Because like I said, people make mistakes. They make mistakes, and they learn from it and they get better.”

 

“You think attempting to kill the prince and harming the royal family is just a _mistake?”_ The grumbling from the audience that followed that was enough to convey their agreement with the prosecutor’s incredulity.

 

“It stemmed from personal grief,” Tony elaborated. “It stemmed from him being lied to about his family, about his heritage and where he originally came from, but that’s no excuse, I understand - and I’m not here to defend that.

 

“But the thing is, those crimes were committed prior to what you are accusing him of _now._  And the All-Father had never pursued him back then. _And_ after what happened in New York, he was brought here, to be punished. Even that punishment hadn’t warranted a life sentence, _death_. _It hadn’t warranted his life._ ”

 

Natasha, who had mostly been silent throughout the proceedings, suddenly turned to look at Steve; her expression one of uncertainty and disbelief. “ _Why is he doing this?_ ” she asked of the others. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand this at all. What does he get out of this? Why is he helping Loki so aggressively? Thor?”

 

Thor took in a wavering breath at the redhead’s accusatory tone, turning to eventually address her. “I don’t know this to be the absolute truth, but I believe our friend feels guilty for what happened with Loki in his encounter with Thanos, and he is attempting everything in his power in order to save him. And we are all familiar with the lengths Tony Stark will go to in order to absolve himself of guilt. No, that’s not fair. The man never actually absolves himself, he just lets it consume him, until he can rectify what he believes are consequences stemming from his actions.”

 

“But that’s ridiculous,” Sam piped up. “What happened to Loki wasn’t his fault. How can he blame himself for that?”

 

Steve could see how Tony would. Thor was right. Tony always blamed himself for consequences he felt like he could have prevented. Having Loki there with him against the fight with Thanos, and not being able to save Loki would have eaten the man alive. What Steve _couldn’t_ understand was why Tony cared that much about _Loki_  of all people in the first place. The Jotun wasn’t exactly an innocent member of society, who should have been saved.

 

Steve knew he should have felt horrible at that thought, especially given that the man’s brother was currently seated next to him, but the crown prosecutor was right: Loki Laufeyson had many horrible crimes against his name - the death of innocents far and counting.

 

“You know as well as I do,” Thor responded to Sam, “That he will continue to lay blame on himself, despite what any of us tell him. I believe I may have contributed to some of that guilt, seeing as _I am_ in fact Loki’s brother, and Tony would’ve felt responsible for not having been able to save Loki, _for me_.”

 

Steve and the others didn’t have much time to respond to that however, as the saksóknari’s voice cut through the room once again. “That’s where you and I disagree, you see. Unfortunately the All-Father, bless your soul your Majesty,” here the prosecutor shifted blue eyes to rest on Odin in his chamber, for a fraction of a second, before focusing on Tony again, “Did not bring this to our attention. When the accused was brought to Asgard, the All-Father tried to keep this fact hidden from us. But believe you me, Mr. Stark, had we known, the people of Asgard would have protested, and this individual,” Lamont pointed up at a still fearful Loki, “Would have been standing right here, and the same sentence would have lingered over his head as it does today.”

 

“But you can’t make that decision though can you?” Tony countered.

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

“I mean in hindsight the All-Father can pass a judgement right?”

 

The saksóknari nodded. “He may see it fit… but if there’s something that distresses the people, it is brought to the High Court’s attention to be sorted, where the royal family can have no interference.”

 

“But if the All-Father had deemed it that Loki wouldn’t have to die,” Tony persisted, “Then that would be the sentence that would be passed right? He’d be imprisoned but he wouldn’t have to die.”

 

A frown was back full-force on the prosecutor’s face. “What is your _point_  Mr. Stark? Where exactly are you going with this? In hindsight it doesn’t matter. The crown prosecutors have been called forward, the Dómari has been called forward and so has the Grand Jury.”

 

“Yes… The _Grand Jury._ ” Tony nodded; his tone almost scoffing. “The Grand Jury are only here at the behest of the Celestials.”

 

“That is true,” Lamont responded, seemingly unsure where Tony’s train of thought was headed. 

 

“The Celestials would never have found him if it weren’t for me.” At Tony’s revelation the sound of a pin drop would have been able to be heard, given the deathly silence that followed in the room.

 

“That is rather presumptuous, isn’t it?” the prosecutor asked of Tony. 

 

Tony shook his head. “No it’s not. I’m the one that asked them to find Loki.”

 

Wait.

 

 _What?_ Steve looked on in disbelief as Tony stood firm in his stance. So it was because of Tony that Loki had even been found in the first place? Thor hadn’t actually revealed that to him and the others. All he had said to the rest of the Avengers and an irate Pepper Potts was that Loki had been found and that Tony ‘was going to risk his life for him’ - whatever that had meant.

 

Thor hadn’t said much else apart from the matter being urgent and that they had to hurry in order to stop Tony; which they had done, leaving behind a protesting Pepper with Vision, who had still been attempting to stop her from joining the others as they were beamed up with Thor to Asgard.

 

But there had been no mention of Tony finding Loki _himself_. How had that even been possible…?

 

“And they had said that they would let me know if they found something in a week’s time…” Tony continued, “But they didn’t. Instead I find out that they’re going to sentence Loki instead - that he was found and he was going to be sentenced.”

 

“Okay…” Lamont hesitantly conceded, “Even if this suggestion ends up being true, what does it matter? What does it really matter?”

 

“It matters because the Celestials have known about the existence of Loki for some time now. They knew when Thanos was arriving, they knew the circumstances, they knew of Loki’s location - why not make him stand trial then? Why now?”

 

“Well there was an impending war to be taken care of,” Lamont replied matter-of-factly, confused as to why the fact shouldn’t have been obvious to Tony. “I mean, there were other more important matters that had required their attention; matters that were urgent.”

 

“Right…” Tony nodded slowly. “So Loki’s trial _wasn’t that urgent?_ ”

 

The prosecutor narrowed his eyes. “Not at the time, no.”

 

Tony soldiered forward with his argument. “But you’re accusing Loki of having joined up with Thanos…So why not just find him? Eliminate him, whatever?”

 

“If it were that simple, Anthony Edward Stark of Midgard,” Lamont answered, dragging out Tony’s name in a condescending manner, “We would have all criminals in chains, all sentenced by now, but unfortunately it is _not_ that simple.”

 

“And why not?” Tony challenged.

 

Lamont huffed out a patronising laugh. “Well there is such a thing as due process. For starters, we must locate the accused individuals and we must have a case against them, as we do now against the accused -”

 

“Wait, wait,” Tony interrupted, “So you’re saying you have a case against him _now_? So you didn’t have a case against him before?”

 

The saksóknari’s condescension morphed into one of confusion and brimming ire; the Asgardian turning his attention to address the judge. “I’m…. I’m sorry I- Dómari, I feel like we’re arguing semantics here. I’m sorry I don’t - I don’t quite _see_  what the argument being presented here is.” 

 

The judge’s grey eyes narrowed at Tony; his voice low and barely holding back contempt. “Mr. Stark, please get to the point, you are holding up the court proceedings. If you have nothing of importance to say, we will continue forward with the sentencing, so I urge you to highlight quite clearly _what your point is_. Get your message across and stop wasting our time.”

 

Tony shook his head again, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not - I’m not wasting your time, that’s not what I’m trying to do here. I’m just trying to understand why this is suddenly so important to you guys. I mean, you had infinite chances to prosecute Loki. You had enough evidence apparently beforehand - you knew exactly where he was during the war with Thanos, you knew Loki was on our side, the Celestials that I spoke to _knew_  that he was going to walk through that portal with me, _so why not do anything then_?”

 

Tony sent an accusatory gaze toward the representatives in the jury box, his dark eyes lingering on the alien, Adam Warlock. (Steve could understand why, seeing as Adam Warlock had fought alongside them against Thanos and had been aware of their plans). “Or were you hoping he was just going to die? That’s kind of unfair right? Where was your ‘due process’ then?”

 

“The Celestials have their reasons,” Lamont answered Tony, seeing as none of the jury members attempted to do so. Adam Warlock actually lowered his gaze.

 

“Oh, really?” Tony scoffed, turning his attention back on Lamont; Steve realising that this was the first time since he had taken stage that Tony showed real anger. “You’re going to throw that argument in my face? I’m sorry, I thought we were going with ‘substance’ and all that according to you, _no offence_.” 

 

When Lamont’s lip curled at the accusation, Tony still persisted. “You were talking about building cases and needing time, and that’s fine and fair but none of that makes any sense, if you know what I mean? You’re accusing Loki of having conspired with Thanos the entire time, that Loki can’t be trusted, that he hasn’t changed. _Yet,_ the Celestials knew of his location beforehand and they were happy for him to go ahead and sacrifice himself, but suddenly now that he’s back, it’s all ‘Oh no, we have to stone him to death.’ I don’t understand.”

 

Thor flinched once again from next to Steve at the accusation, but Steve had to admit that Tony had a point.

 

“I suppose I can understand _some_ of what you’re trying to say,” Lamont conceded, shifting away from where Tony stood behind the prosecutor’s desk, taking a few deliberate steps as if in contemplation, “But it’s still redundant in the grand scheme of things. Loki Laufeyson has committed _horrible_ crimes, _horrible crimes,_ against humanity, against your own kind, against _my_  people, against _us_. He deserves to be punished.”

 

“Alright,” Tony responded, though nothing in his tone suggested to Steve, that his friend had conceded his argument, “Alright, okay. It seems like we’re going around in circles. He ‘deserves to be punished,’ _okay_. So if Loki sacrificed his life to save yours, to save _my people’s -_ as you keep pointing out - does that count for anything?”

 

“Why would we believe that he’s sacrificed his life for us?” was the prosecutor’s ridiculing response.

 

“Because he has. And the Celestials, and I’m sure the Representatives, know this too. Loki _died_  trying to save my life.”

 

“Yet he’s still here?”

 

“I don’t understand how. But he did. He walked through that portal and it was because of him that I was able to wield the Infinity gauntlet. It was with his help that I was able to find Thanos in the first place. It was because of him that we’re all standing here now.”

 

“I don’t believe you. Are you selling yourself short -”

 

“ _Why would I_?” Tony replied in frustration. “You keep insisting that he’s done all these horrible things against my people, against _your_  people, _why would I defend him_ …?  _Why?_  Loki isn’t in possession of the the mind stone anymore, it’s been destroyed, so you can’t say that I’m being controlled by him. Then why would I defend him, if I don’t believe my arguments to be the truth?”

 

Tony gestured toward the room at large. “You all acknowledge that I was the person that wielded the gauntlet, right? Your Celestials acknowledge that too. I was going to die there, in the end, facing Thanos. I wasn’t _supposed_ to survive…”

 

“That’s not true,” the saksóknari countered, “The Celestials gave you their power.”

 

Tony shook his head. “They gave me the power to be able to _hold_ the Infinity gauntlet… they didn’t give me the power to survive. Because it was too risky. Humans and Celestials, humans and powers of gods _of gods_ \- they don’t really mix well. They knew this, I was _told_  this. I walked through that portal expecting to die.”

 

Steve and Bucky had simultaneously stopped breathing, Steve feeling as though his wrist was on fire, his soul-bond raging in response. Tony had been planning to _die? Had expected it?!_ He had never, not once mentioned that fact to Steve or the other Avengers.

 

All Steve had known was that Tony had been entrusted with he power of the Celestials to put an end to Thanos. There had been no discussions about possible deaths or sacrifices! Then again, had Steve been given the slightest hint that Tony’s life would have been at risk, he would have done anything within his power to have stopped the man from walking through that portal, which in hindsight could have had a different impact upon the resolution of the war.

 

They all could have ended up dead. Steve still wasn’t sure if that would have been enough to risk Tony’s life. Steve squeezed his eyes shut in disbelief. What was wrong with him? Of course the lives of the many mattered over the few… It always did… Right?

 

“I wasn’t supposed to come back,” Tony added.

 

“Then how did you..?” Lamont questioned in lingering curiosity.

 

“Because Loki _saved my life_. The fact is, that he was there with me, and if it weren’t for him then we might all still be fighting a war.”

 

“And if it weren’t for him,” the saksóknari pushed back, “Hela wouldn’t have crossed Hel _to kill us all_. We wouldn’t have brought upon us _Ragnarok…!_ ”

 

“It wasn’t him!” Tony asserted in exasperation. “Hela wasn’t his fault… and you _know_  this. Loki fought to save Asgard, he fought with you! This just seems like a witch hunt -”

 

“ _A witch hunt?"_  Lamont interrupted in disbelief. “For committing heinous crimes against the universe - you call this a _witch hunt_?”

 

“I call this a witch hunt because he’s paid his dues. I’m alive _because_  of him, _we’re alive_ because of him!”

 

“We’re _alive,_ ” the crown prosecutor responded with equal fervour, his pale eyes furious; his tone unrelenting, “Because of _you_. We’re alive because of the _Celestials_. We’re alive because of all the brave men and women, _alien and human alike_ , who gave their lives for us. We’re _alive_ because of the power of the gauntlet. It is _because_ of individuals such as the accused, that we would have forever been  _at risk.”_

 

“Ok then. If you could go back in time - say we had the time stone again, we used its power, we went back in time, I remove Loki from the equation, are you happy with that? Are you happy with things to proceed the way they were. No Loki; I walk through that portal alone, I can’t find Thanos, I don’t have the power to walk through, I don’t have the support necessary to fight Thanos, the power of the Infinity stones surges through me and I can’t control it, I can’t survive it, and it dies with me, _then what?_ Are you _okay_  with that? Are you okay with _taking that risk?_ ”

 

“So you’re only presenting arguments on Laufeyson’s behalf because you feel like you owe him something.”

 

Tony rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “See thats the part that I get confused with - so am I doing this because I ‘owe him something’ or because it’s the truth? I mean according to you, _it can’t be both,_ but I don’t understand why not?

 

“If I’m doing this because he saved my life, then that means you accept that he was there with me, that he was responsible for saving the universe, but that’s not enough to cut him some slack? Or at least be an acknowledgement that he may have _actually_ changed? Or that Thanos’ mind control was in fact far and reaching, and that if he had had no control over Loki, then Loki wouldn’t have done the things that he eventually ended up doing?

 

“I’m a Midgardian right? Then I should be incensed by the treatment of my people at the hands of Loki - and _I was_. I really, _really_ was. If I could have brought down judgement on him all those years ago _myself,_ I probably would have, you have _no_  idea. The mess that the Battle of New York created and the fallout effects of that were _huge_ , massive - if - if anybody knows about the consequences of that war, it would be _me_. 

 

“I’ve had to deal with endless ramifications of it - not just monetary, not just physical, but _personal_ , psychological too. So I _know_  what ramifications are, I know what consequences are, and yet here I am, asking you to _not_ _do this,_  pleading with you to realise the truth… That change in people is real, _it’s real.”_

 

Steve’s heart bled for Tony, in understanding, in empathy. Steve had finally come to understand the significant impact the aftermath of New York had on Tony. The aftermath which had lead to the man almost dying, suffering chronic anxiety as a result, which ultimately lead to poor choices - giving out his home address to a world renown terrorist, obsessing over imminent future attacks, having his mind manipulated while fearing for the lives of his friends and family, which gave the world Ultron and the Sokovian accords.

 

Steve’s friend had suffered in silence, he had suffered _alone_  and Steve had certainly been a significant contributor toward the stress the man had continued to suffer. Steve attempted to bury the ugly memories surfacing in his mind of the Civil War.

 

“You present an interesting argument Mr. Stark…” Lamont seemed to half-heartedly accept, “But my position still stands. I respect what you’re doing here, I respect your commentary, but unfortunately my mind is made up, and countless others out there have had theirs made up too.” This statement had many people present in the courtroom vocalise their own agreements.

 

“I understand the grievances you would have had with the accused in the past, and accept that you’ve now personally changed your mind, _but_ you unfortunately do not speak for the vast majority of people. For the ones that I know _personally_ , that those gathered here in the courtroom know personally,who have been aggrieved by the accused, who have _suffered great loss - many of_ your own kind have suffered a great loss as a result of his actions - I do not believe that they would be as forgiving as you.

 

“And I suppose that is a testament of your noble character but not all people can be forgiving in this magnitude, and their wrath and their pain and their suffering _must_ be acknowledged, must be repented for, must be _accounted_ for.”

 

Lamont turned once again to face the judge. “Dómari Asmund, I have made my case against the accused. I have presented counsel for the people I am representing, both of Asgard and Midgard. You have heard Mr Stark’s, one person among many from Midgard, who personally knows the accused, whose personally worked with him and who _I_  believe, as virtuous as it may seem to him, has a personal bias in saving the accused’s life, because he feels like he owes the accused a debt.

 

“That is my observation, you are entitled to make your own Dómari Asmund,” blue eyes directed their attention toward the jury, “As are you Representatives. I bid you this one final point, _this one consideration_ , if you will. Despite what Mr. Stark has presented as his argument, _despite_  what this one individual says, are you really willing to forgive all the crimes, all the _suffering_  that the accused is responsible for, of his own volition? And if he supposedly has changed, what is our _proof_ , what is our _guarantee_ , how do we _know_? How do we know that if we let him back out into our civilisations, he won’t cause havoc or wreck another planet or wreck ours again? Where this time, we _may not_ survive it. Can you risk that, Grand Jury?”

 

The Asgardian prosecutor turned to face the audience once again before taking a small bow. “Thank you.”

 

“Thank you Saksóknari Lamont.” The dómari nodded toward the prosecutor who moved back to take his seat at his desk, next to his colleagues. “You have been very insightful indeed. As for you Mr. Stark,” the judge acknowledged Tony, “Have you got any last commentary to make?”

 

Tony made no obvious gesture in assent, but spoke up nonetheless. “I know you think a lot of people wouldn’t say this, but I _wouldn’t_ be here if it weren’t for Loki. _None of us_  would be here if it weren’t for Loki. I accept that he’s made mistakes, but so have we all. I also accept that some mistakes are much more profound than others… but I honestly believe that Loki’s sacrificed enough to _at least_ pay some of that debt. And if you kill him then he won’t be able to pay you back in full. He’s a god, he can do a lot of good with his abilities. He can help, fix Asgard -”

 

The courtroom came alive again in protests and shouts of fervent disagreement, but Tony carried on. “ _He can and he should,_ ” the engineer asserted. “I know my word probably doesn’t mean a lot to you, being a spec among the masses, but if you believed me to have saved the world in _whatever capacity_ , then _please_ at least give consideration to my judgement.”

 

The dómari brought down his gavel again, to thin the ruckus in the room. “Alright, settle down!” The judge then gestured toward the four seated Representatives. “Now, I call upon you Grand Jury, to please deliberate and make a decision on what judgement it is you will pass upon the accused. We can adjourn for as long as you need -”

 

“There’s no need.” Steve and the others found their attention focused on the woman of the four, who had stood from her seat and was now moving in the direction of the main floor.

 

Dómari Asmund’s grey eyes followed her descent to centre stage as well; the Asgardian left momentarily baffled. “I beg your pardon..?”

 

“There’s - there’s no need really to adjourn.” The woman with ebony black hair up to her waist, paused when she reached the area of the well, smiling up at the dómari. “I think my fellow representatives and I have made some form of a judgement, or at least we’d like to ask questions of our own if we may?”

 

Asmund blinked his eyes several times before nodding slowly. “Um… yes, yes _of course_. You’re welcome to take the sage as soon as you like.”

 

The woman, who had skin even fairer than that of the prosecutor Lamont’s, smiled once again before her arresting green eyes shifted forward. “Thank you.”

 

Up close, Steve could see that the rest of her person was just as attractive. She was the same height as an average human woman, with a petite frame, high cheekbones and full lips. It was almost difficult to look away from her, her aura holding everyone’s attention as she moved with fluid grace.

 

The crown prosecutor, suddenly a little unsure of what he was required to do, made to move out of his seat but immediately halted once the woman representative shook her head. “No, please be seated Saksonari, it is not you we are concerned with.”

 

She gestured toward Tony instead. “Mr. Stark, please step forward again.”

 

Tony, who had moved to stand somewhere close to where he had originally entered from, now appeared wary, though he slowly moved to take position closer toward the centre again.

 

The woman’s smile was satisfied when she addressed the audience.“If you are unfamiliar with myself, I am _Gaia._ Many know me as Mother Earth, or a goddess of earth.” In a flurry of gestures, green magic spilled from her fingers like ink, coming to manifest imagery - almost like a hologram surrounding her person - of forestry and multiple other terrains of earth, before vanishing into thin air just as quickly.

 

“ _You’ve got to be joking,_ ” Sam muttered from Steve’s far left.

 

Steve leaned in close to Thor. “ _Mother Earth_ , really?”

 

Thor nodded. “That ‘suspicious activity’ S.H.E.I.L.D. uncovered in Greece, was _her_. She rose up from her temple.”

 

Steve wanted to laugh in incredulity at that, but shook the idea as soon as it had entered his mind. Given everything he had so far seen since waking up from the ice, the concept of ‘Mother Earth’ actually existing was far from the outrageous.

 

“My esteemed friends here,” Mother Earth continued with, after having captured all attention with her display, gesturing toward the remaining three representatives, “Are Adam Warlock of the Sovereign, his mentor, The High Evolutionary, and Norrin Radd, our beloved Silver Surfer, who keeps our galaxies safe from the reach of Galactus. We are all Representatives of the Celestials themselves.” Each member of the Representative gave their own nods of acknowledgement as Gaia addressed them.

 

“Mr. Stark today has presented you with very interesting facts. And yes, I do call them facts because a lot of what he’s said, is indeed the truth.

 

“Representative Adam Warlock has fought along side Mr. Stark, and the renown Guardians of the Galaxy, and as a result Adam seems them all in high esteem.Now, I must state that none of us were aware that Mr. Stark would stand trial as a representative. We must also admit, that what he has claimed regarding the Celestials only coming to the knowledge of Loki Laufeyson’s existence through him, that is i _ndeed_ true.”

 

This revelation and admittance on behalf of the representatives to Steve’s eyes, seemed to shock quite a few number of people in the room, but mostly the crown prosecutor Lamont himself, who had suddenly become very still in his seat.

 

“We’d all presumed Mr. Laufeyson to have passed away after the encounter with Thanos,” Gaia explained, eyes shifting from face to face in the gallery of the courtroom. “It was brought to our attention by Representative Kooma that there was a possibility that Laufeyson was not; brought to his attention by none other than Tony Stark.”

 

Gaia’s attention once again directed toward Tony, and Steve felt another chill crawl down his spine. He was suddenly very fearful for his friend. He wanted to yell out, move, do anything, but Thor’s grasp was back on his arm again; the god now appearing as worried as Steve felt, though he still did not want to interrupt. Steve’s frustration only grew.

 

“You have raised fair points today Mr. Stark,” Gaia conceded, her white robes brushing the marble floor behind her as she moved around, “About the Jotun Loki and about his treatment, and realised concerns as to why he wasn’t prosecuted earlier, given that the Celestials knew about his existence. As many of you are well aware, the Celestials are not at all places at once. There are _many_ universes that exist out there in the cavern of space, and many Celestials inhibit these universes. They can be in other galaxies, they can be in another universe occupying a different time.

 

“Unfortunately, they cannot be everywhere _at once_ , and they do not know everything _at once_. The fact remains that the threat of Thanos had to be brought to their attention because most of them weren’t even in this plain of existence. And unfortunately the Celestial that was present here, a gentleman by the mane of Ego, really didn’t play by the rules, which lead to his eventual demise.

 

“As to how Mr. Laufeyson comes into this… Mr. Stark, frankly the Celestials were unaware, and that is not to say that they were deliberately negligent - it is mainly due to the fact that they allow judgements to be passed by beings who rule certain worlds under their protection. As for Asgard, we trust the All-Father to make decisions, to pass judgements; on Midgard, obviously whatever or whomever the body of power is in authority, of a certain locale.

 

“The Celestials had accepted the sacrifices Mr. Laufeyson has made. However, when the Dómarii and the Saksóknari forwarded their case against Mr. Laufeyson, it could not be ignored, because the accused crimes against his name were indeed reprehensible.

 

“Unfortunately, it seemed like the All-Father was not going to address it himself because he has a personal bias. The Celestials were willing to find Laufeyson on your behest, Mr. Stark. They would have brought him directly to you, but when a case was made against the accused, it had to be addressed, given that a genuine threat did in fact exist if we were to just set him free. All that he has done in the past is a reflection of his behaviour, and if we were to let him go, there was no guarantee that he would not fall back into the same patterns and cause further calamity.

 

“The Celestials were very concerned that because the threat of Thanos had not been brought to their attention until very late, there was much devastation as a result, and that is not something they can risk again. Mr. Laufeyson has been proven to have interacted with the Mad Titan _and_  worked with him - that should not be something that should be taken lightly or be easily forgiven. Those actions alone have had a significant impact in this universe.”

 

Gaia paused in her pacing to directly come face to face with Tony, levelling him with a considering look. “So my question to you now Mr. Stark is this: how do you prove that this man has _truly_  changed? You say that he walked through that portal with you which is a fact that I, as well as the Celestials are aware of, but that is _not enough_. The argument can be made that Mr. Laufeyson only acted in that way as a result of a momentary lapse in judgement, _or_  it could have been as a result of him realising, that he had had no other choice. That he would have to take the risk of walking through that portal and potentially surviving, or suffer major consequences upon the resolution of the war.

 

“The former, may I remind you, has in fact happened, and he has survived, so the point that he sacrificed himself doesn’t ring very strong - feels rather hollow instead. I hope you are able to see that. That is why I ask you now: what guarantee do you have that he has in fact changed? To reiterate Saksóknari Lamont’s argument from earlier: Your word alone, unfortunately is _not enough.”_

 

Tony looked away for a moment, his dark eyes searching the expanse of the floor before him, as if attempting to keep himself from squirming under the gaze of Mother Earth’s scrutiny.“My word is all I have,” he replied almost quietly. “I can’t - I can’t prove the unseen, I can’t prove what happens in the future, it’s _in_ the future. All I can ask is for him to be given a chance. He can be on watch, he can be heavily guarded, monitored -”

 

“He was before, was he not?” Gaia interrupted, scepticism apparent in her tone. “He was kept in an Asgardian cell but his brother let him out, believing himself to be doing the right thing by recruiting Laufeyson’s help. He’s escaped many times before.”

 

“We’ve leaned from that,” Tony insisted.

 

“Have you?” The ethereal goddess’ tone turned from scepticism to barely concealed sarcasm, as she bombarded Tony with an avalanche of heavy questions. “Can you guarantee that? Be able to watch him twenty-four-seven? Be aware of his _every_ movement, _at all times?_ Make sure you’re not tricked in some way? Can you trust other people around you to not take out their wrath out on him, to not be manipulated by him? You do remember the incident with Bruce Banner of course?”

 

That was definitely another low blow aimed at Tony, especially when Steve noticed the man flinch at the accusations.

 

“Your word is all you have you say?” The woman stalled on her question which made the hairs on Steve’s arms raise up, but what came next from her was an entirely different ballpark. “Would you be willing to stake your life on it _Tony Stark_?”

 

What? _What?!_

 

Was Steve _hearing_ this correctly? _What the hell was going on?!_

 

“That’s an interesting ring you have there.” Gaia’s eyes landed on the band of metal around Tony’s ring finger - a ring which Steve recalled the man had said belonged to his mother, when questioned by a curious Stephen Strange. Had Strange’s suspicious curiosity meant more? Had Steve’s dreams been a warning after all?

 

“Do you know what it is?”

 

“Not really…” Tony responded in hesitation.

 

The answer hit Steve like a punch to the gut. Tony really _had_ been lying this entire time.

 

Gaia made a gesture, asking for permission to touch. “May I?”

 

Tony seemed to hesitate further still. “It - it doesn’t really come off.”

 

The goddess smiled. “I know… I will need your hand.”

 

Tony took a few moments considering, before he slowly reached out and placed the palm of his left hand in her’s.

 

As soon as her delicate fingers came into contact with the silver ring, some type of magical energy surged through Tony’s entire being before immediately surging through Gaia in a rush; the female representative having closed her eyes momentarily at the interaction.

 

Steve’s alarm at the scene would have made him react sooner, but then the interaction ended almost as quickly as it had begun.

 

“Wow,” Gaia breathed out a short laugh. “That was a rush. A force indeed.”

 

Tony, whose eyes had gone large, uncertainty still in place on his face, looked back at Gaia. “What is it? What does it mean?”

 

Much to Steve’s surprise, and to the surprise of others apparently, Gaia turned her attention to Loki, before lifting her hand to perform magic that did away with Loki’s muzzle.

 

Loki himself seemed shocked by the events; his eyes wide and wet as his gaze shifted between both Gaia and Tony. The man was struggling to keep himself from openly shaking; the chains around his wrists clinking every so often as he attempted to keep himself composed.

 

“How did you do it?” Mother Earth demanded of the Jotun. “It is not very common, not usually seen. I don’t recall when I last was witness to magic such as this. How did you do it?”

 

Loki took in a shuddering breath, his voice sounding unused and hoarse as he spoke. “…. I took a chance. “

 

“Just a chance? Are you _sure_?”

 

Loki, harrowed, averted his gaze from Gaia’s scrutiny, swallowing hard. “Yes…” The admittance from the god barely registered in the courtroom for how quietly he had said it.

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

The statement from Gaia seemed to pain Loki further, his tone becoming desperate, pleading. “It is the _truth,_ Mother.”

 

Gaia’s intense scrutiny of the Jotun remained. “You took a chance, hoping that it might work? Something so skilled, something so powerful, you thought, ‘Oh potentially I may have use for it’? There was no premeditation behind it?”

 

Loki shook his head slowly, squeezing his eyes shut. “No, there wasn’t.”

 

Mother Earth slowly moved away from Tony and approached Loki with deliberate steps, as if predator were cornering their prey. She paused a few steps in front of Loki’s podium, staring up at the god, eyes challenging. “Really? When you walked through that portal, all those weeks ago, did you think you would survive?”

 

Loki seemed to hesitate with his answer. “I don’t know…” He swallowed again, gaze flickering toward Tony for the fraction of a second, before shifting away. “I…. I couldn’t watch him _die._ ”

 

At the admission, shockingly, Steve’s soul-mark flared up, leaching a pain that radiated down his arm; the blond noticing a similar discomfort from Bucky when the man looked down at his wrist in alarm.

 

However, the super-soldiers didn’t have much time to make sense of why their marks were reacting, for Gaia continued with her aggressive line of questioning.

 

“Or is the more likely truth Mr. Laufeyson, is that you needed an escape?”

 

“I had not intention to survive, Mother!” Loki’s desperation appeared to only grow, as the man shook in place from the bombardment of accusations.

 

Steve honestly didn’t know how to feel in just that moment. Was Loki really telling the truth? And what had he meant when he claimed that he couldn’t watch Tony die? Why was that? What had happened between the two of them? And why were Steve’s insides suddenly feeling queasy at the revelation.

 

Gaia turned her focus back on a wary looking Tony. “The ring that you bear around your finger my child, is a Ring of _Eternity_.”

 

Tony’s disconcertment seemed to grow. “What - what does that mean..?”

 

“It means your life is now tethered to that of a god’s.”

 

The loud gasps in the room at Gaia’s voice didn’t compare to the now reverberating ringing in Steve’s ear, nor did it hold a candle to Thor’s booming cry of, “What?!”

 

The god was on his feet, his furious blue eyes on Loki, who appeared to cower under their ire. “What did you _do_ …?!”

 

“Thor what’s going on? What is she talking about?” Steve’s desperate questions however did not register to the god, who had immediately been silenced by the dómari.

 

“Crown Prince, be seated at once! You have not been called upon to speak in this courtroom, and you certainly have not been permitted to be a part of the proceedings! Another interruption on your part and you _will_ be removed!”

 

Thor took a few moments taking in angry breaths, livid eyes still on Loki, but no further words fell from the god’s mouth. He eventually took a reluctant seat, fists clenched tight again, his teeth grit shut in order to stop himself from speaking.

 

The most surprising thing to Steve of all from that outburst, was the fact that Tony hadn’t reacted, hadn’t even looked in Thor’s direction, in _their_  direction in any sign of acknowledgement, but had adamantly kept his gaze on Gaia instead; drawing her attention back toward him and away from Thor’s interruption with a question of, “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

 

“Mr. Laufeyson, I do not think it’s very fair what you’ve done,” Gaia said instead of directly answering Tony’s question, though her eyes still firmly remained on Tony. “There was no autonomy, there was no _consent_ involved.”

 

“I know…” was Loki’s broken response, eyes on the floor in front of him. “I had to…”

 

“Because you, ‘Couldn’t watch him die’,” Gaia reiterated the Jotuns words; her tone heavy with sarcasm. “Hmm, _right._ ”

 

“You my child,” she said directly to Tony, “Have survived because Loki was able to split his soul, and tether your life-force to a part of his own. That ring of yours contains his _essence._  When you bind souls, there is a physical manifestation on your being - that is what you have in the form of a ring.”

 

Steve was stunned to the core as Gaia’s words registered in the courtroom; a reaction apparently shared by Tony as well, for the man had been rendered speechless.

 

“I guess you can say, you’re _soul-bonded_. Quite literally,” Gaia explained. “You’re correct in assuming that the Jotun Loki saved your life, but at _what cost?"_

 

“Is it true…?” was Tony’s whispered question; his dark eyes eventually shifting to look up at Loki, swimming with accusation. “Is it _true?_ “ the engineer asked again, more forcefully this time.

 

Loki, his expression still pained, looked back at Tony for the longest time, as if he were attempting to convey apology with the sincerity in them. “…Yes,” he eventually answered, voice hollow. 

 

Gaia, wearing a self-satisfied smile, addressed Tony once again. “Now that you finally know the truth Mr. Stark, does your argument still remain? Do you still support saving this man’s life after he _lied_ to you, didn’t give you choice in the matter, in an action that was likely premeditated? There is also a likely potential that he split his soul in order to save his own life, by tethering it to yours.”

 

Those accusations from Gaia appeared to have made Loki indignant. “That is _not true!_  I did not expect to survive. I did not expect anything. I just wanted to save him…”

 

Gaia ignored the pleading man. “Tell me Mr. Stark, do you still feel the same?”

 

Tony had gone completely silent and was so still, that if he didn’t react any time soon, Steve wouldn’t even think twice before jumping out of his seat, throwing the man over his shoulder and hightailing it back to earth.

 

Just as the super-solider made up his mind to do exactly that, Tony, who had dropped his head to stare somewhere past his feet, raised it once again; his eyebrow cocked, a sure expression on his face. “Yeah, _I do_.” 

 

The sureness with which Tony admitted that baffled Gaia just as much as it did everyone else in the room; the female representative blinking long lashes in a stunned expression. “Well…” she eventually said, lip curling at the corner. “Quite an actor aren’t you?”

 

Tony shrugged. “I have gifts I guess.”

 

Gaia was unimpressed. “You knew about this.” There was no inflection at the end of her sentence. Not a question then. She was stating a fact.

 

Tony shook his head. “No. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure.”

 

“But you suspected?”

 

“Kind of.”

 

“Really?” Gaia asked in a mocking tone. “What knowledge do you have of magic?”

 

“Well,” Tony began, taking a small breath, “When I fell from that portal, my chest was ripped open. I should have bled to death - _I didn’t._  I went home, pulled apart my suit, my under-suit - there it was: my chest was mending itself completely, becoming new and _whole._ I had no goddamn idea why. All I knew was that I’d survived and Loki _hadn’t._ ”

 

Mother Earth remained dubious. “So your first conclusion was straight to, ‘Our souls are tethered?’”

 

“No, not really. But it was _something_. I was telling the truth - I didn’t - I didn’t know _how_ , but obviously it was something.”

 

“And you’re comfortable with this knowledge?” Gaia asked incredulously. “That your life-force is now tethered to a god’s? That he has done this to you without your knowledge?”

 

Tony shrugged again; the nonchalance of it astounding Steve. “I don’t _feel_  any different. Well of course having the power of a _god_  kind of gives you abilities I guess, but for the most part I feel the same.”

 

“You don’t feel like he might be controlling you?”

 

Tony’s brows narrowed. “Is it possible to?”

 

“Potentially.”

 

Loki was indignant once again. “ _I am not controlling him_! I have _no_  desire to… How could I have possibly done that from _another part of the universe_?”

 

“Silence!” The dómari's booming voice once again warned. “You have not been called to speak upon!”

 

“No it is fine, I would rather he speaks.” Gaia waved away the judge’s concern, attention back on Loki once again. “If that were the case Mr. Laufeyson, how was Tony Stark able to locate you?”

 

“He _didn’t_  find me,” Loki insisted. 

 

“Yes, but he _felt_  your presence.”

 

“Because of the ring!” Loki answered in fervour, dangerously close to becoming hysterical. “There was _no_  reason for him to think that I would have survived.”

 

Gaia let out a sardonic laugh; her voice harsh, in direct contrast to her delicate features. “ _Really?_  Your presence, _your essence_  is in the ring, and you don’t think he would’ve thought you were alive? You do not believe that wouldn’t have contributed toward _some sort_ of manipulation?”

 

“I thought I had died. I had no intention of coming back. _You can kill me now_ , it does not matter to me. Just _please_ leave him out of this!”

 

“You’re joking right?” Tony piped up, seemingly chagrined at Loki’s pleading. “I don’t care about any of this,” the engineer persisted. “This doesn’t mean anything to me. Loki saved my life. He shouldn’t have but he did. Isn’t this more proof to you,” Tony asked of Gaia, “That he’s trying to do the right thing?”

 

“No, my dear,” Gaia replied swiftly, “It is _not_. It could very much so be the truth that he is trying to control you, or that he had attempted that precarious magic in order to save his own life.”

 

“Hang on a second, hang on a second,” Tony scoffed. “Why would he split his soul? Why not just attempt to survive, ‘whole’? Why tether it to a _human being_ , of all people?”

 

“If your soul is split,” Gaia replied, “Then you have a greater chance to survive.”

 

Tony remained adamant. “Yeah, but what if it was just the half that’s in my ring? And his body had been destroyed? What, was he just going to crawl out of the ring and _manifest himself?_ Sounds pretty batshit, no offence. Is that how this works? Does it matter? I mean, you’re saying he did it to save me, right? Therefore he _could_  have died.”

 

Gaia seemed to shake her head in defeat, a small smile at the corner of her full lips. “You are persistent. That is endearing. Alright, so I propose that challenge once again to you Mr. Stark. On behalf of the Celestials and my other representatives, I ask this of you again: For Loki Laufeyson, the accused standing against the people of Asgard and Midgard, are you willing to risk your life for him? Stake _your life_  for him?”

 

Steve could remain silent no longer.

 

He was out of his seat in a heartbeat, which prompted the other Avengers to do the same.

 

“What is _going on_  here?!” Steve demanded of the court, “This is _unacceptable._ How can you _possibly_ ask Tony to _risk his life?”_ This outburst of his finally seemed to draw Tony’s attention toward him; the expression on the engineer’s face one of bafflement and horror, as if he’d finally realised that the other Avengers had followed him here.

 

“SILENCE,” the dómari roared, furiously reining down his gavel. “You are _not_ allowed to speak in the courtroom, you have not once been asked to! Crown Prince, I suggest you control your peers or you will _all_  be thrown out!”

 

But before Steve or the others could interrupt again, Loki was once again vocalising his own protests rather vehemently. “No..! _No, no, no!!_  

 

“ _This is not his fault!_  This is _not_ on him, _you cannot ask him to do this!_ Please, Mother, if you are going to punish somebody, _punish me_. I did not resist, I _did not fight you - I_ _am not going to fight you._  Please do _not_  do this, he is ignorant of this!” The god had become completely hysterical, tears spilling from his imploring eyes, chains rattling against his wrists and feet, as Loki fell onto his knees.

 

“I take responsibility for every claim you have laid against me. I do not stand for myself, I _do not defend myself._ I am willing to accept whatever judgement the dómari or the Grand Jury is going to pass upon me - Mother _please,_ I beg of you, _do not do this!”_

 

Gaia shook her head at the display. “You do not get to have a say unfortunately. This is your representative’s choice. This is how this court _works._ So I am giving him a choice to save your life,  _Laufeyson_. He seems to see something in you that countless others have struggled to see. I know of the horrors you have committed. I have _felt_ them in my earth, I have _felt them in me…_ and yet this man stands here,” Gaia gestured to Tony, “This _child_ compared to both you and I, stands here willing to support you through it all. I am giving him a chance.”

 

“Mother, _please..!”_

 

“Enough of this. _”_ Steve and the others watched horrified, as with a flick of her hand, Gaia had Loki muzzled once again.

 

The woman took deliberate steps toward Tony once again. “Anthony Edward Stark of Midgard, you believe in this man, you believe he has changed and that he has good in his heart… You unfortunately _are not enough,_ my child. Your word alone is _not enough_ , but…” Gaia paused, before, “There is one other, however, who _can_  convince me.”

 

The same form of magic that the goddess had displayed at her introduction, took centre stage again, as Gaia materialised a holographic looking image once again. This time it was of a person. A person, Steve was horrified to admit, he was familiar with.

 

“A woman,” Gaia explained. “Kimberly. Antonia. Clarke. She is thirty-one years of age, and has an eight year old son named Fraiser, whom she loves him very much. I wonder if you recognise this woman Mr. Stark? Do you have any idea who she is?”

 

Tony’s eyes narrowed as he scrutinised the image, realisation eventually dawning upon him. “Yeah… Yeah I know her face. She’s the head of the… oh.”

 

Gaia smiled. “Yes, ‘ _Oh’._ Kimberely, as many Midgardians are now aware, is the leader of the movement against super-powered individuals - humans, inhumans and aliens alike. She wants them _all_ gone. Do you know why that is?”

 

When Tony didn’t respond, Gaia’s expression became knowing. “You do don’t you?”

 

The woman then addressed the audience at large. “For those of us who do not, Kimberley Clarke stands as the figurehead of this movement because of the devastating loss she experienced eight years ago. That loss being the death of her husband, her in-laws and her parents. All of whom that lost their lives… at the Battle of New York.”

 

The sudden realisation of where this was headed, hit Steve like a speeding train.

 

“This woman,” Gaia glanced up at a trembling Loki, “ _You_  were the reason she lost her family, _you_  were the reason she spiralled downhill, you _are_ the reason she holds onto a grudge, that was given birth seven years ago, and now… there is a movement against super-powered individuals upon earth. My children divided _all because of you,_ Laufeyson.

 

“And I believe if she’s not made to change her mind as soon as possible, this movement will grow and get very large and become _very_  complicated for Midgardians. For people like you,” Gaia addressed Tony once again, “For people like your friends, Mr. stark. All because of Loki son of Laufey.

 

“Now, my proposal to you is this: Get this woman to change her mind, to change her stance on people such as yourself. The only way I will be willing to listen to an argument for Loki Laufeyson, is if this happens. If Loki can convince _her_ , of all people, that he really _has_  changed, if he can convince her to pardon him, then that is enough for me.”

 

“You’re joking…” was Tony’s incredulous response.

 

“No, I am not. As I have explained before Mr. Stark, your word is _biased._ This woman, who resents the very existence of Laufeyson, who would rather do away with him herself, has vowed _revenge against him_  if she ever saw him again - if you can convince her to forgive the accused, then I will be inclined to give merit to your arguments.”

 

“Is that it?” Tony asked, dubious. “Then he’s free to go?”

 

Gaia’s lips thinned. “Mmm, it is not that simple. You see, if we okay this, if we accept this, you take him to Midgard and who knows how long you’ll take to convince Mrs. Clarke? Who is to know what will happen in the time being, and who is to know how quickly Laufeyson will just disappear? That he _could_  disappear. Therefore, I’m giving you a timeframe. I am willing to give you _six months._ Six months, and you convince this woman to forgive Loki son of Laufey, and I’m willing to listen.”

 

“But he could run away in six months anyway?”

 

“Yes,” Gaia nodded at Tony, a dangerous smile playing at the corner of her mouth. “Here’s the _catch._ That’s where _you_ come in.”

 

Loki immediately began to struggle once again, desperately trying to draw Gaia’s attention, begging it seemed for the woman to show any ounce of mercy.

 

Steve’s panic only intensified at the display.

 

Gaia ignored the struggling god behind her, holding every other person’s attention in the room. “I propose this to you Mr. Stark: You convince this woman to forgive Laufeyson, I will let him walk, _we_ will let him walk. The Celestials will pardon his crimes, _but._ You fail to do so within 6 months, and he dies.” 

 

Thor had gone deathly still next to Steve, his hands shaking at his sides.

 

“I’ll admit,” Gaia continued, “Magical gods such as Asgardians are difficult to locate if they disappear into the wind; who aren’t as difficult to find however, are people such as yourself - non-magical folk… So I ask you now: Will you stake your life for Loki Laufeyson?”

 

Steve’s shrill protests left his mouth even before he’d realised; the other avengers protesting just as loudly.  _“NO Tony!!_ _You can’t do this!”_

 

“Silence! You are not -”

 

“- _Tony you can’t do this! This is insane!”_

 

Tony’s attention was back on the protesting Avengers again, his expression alarmed, though it was only for the briefest of moments for Gaia interrupted again; her expression for the first time conflicted, sorrowed. “Your life Anthony, tied to Loki’s, right? Would you attempt to risk your life in order to convince Kimberely? If you fail, Loki dies… then so do you.”

 

The entire audience erupted once again, with mixed responses this time - shouts of approval, shouts of dissent, many in the audience unsatisfied at giving Loki _any_ chances, others outraged at having a Midgardian risk their’s; though the loudest of all protests were of course from the Avengers.

 

“ _NO!! This is a crime -”_

 

_“How is this allowed?!”_

 

_“Tony you can’t do this…!!”_

 

“Silence!! I will have order in my courtroom -”

 

The dómari's commands were completely ignored in that instance, as the cacophony of voices only grew. Thor had even moved away from his seat, attempting to break the barrier and enter the stage, though Odin had immediately materialised in order to stop him.

 

The All-Father’s presence immediately had the effect he had obviously desired, as his command of, “ _ENOUGH!”_ silenced the room at once.

 

Odin turned his one eye toward the female representative on the stage of the courtroom, who was silently observing the chaos. “Mother Gaia, I apologise for this raucous behaviour and beg your forgiveness for any disrespect you may have felt as a result.”

 

Thor was about to protest before Odin raised his hand to silence him, before continuing on. “While I accept that the royal family are not permitted to interfere in this trial in any manner, _however_ ,” the All-Father paused briefly before, “I must agree with the concerns that Thor and his friends are raising. Anthony Stark is a _Midgardian_ , who has _no_ links to _any_  crimes against Loki’s name, and it is within my responsibility to assert the safety and rights of this Midgardian, by insisting that he s _hould not_ be asked to _risk his life_ in _any_ capacity. Asking him to do so would be injustice of the highest order, _particularly_ given the fact that Loki has confessed to his crimes _and_  accepted his punishment.”

 

“I appreciate your concerns All-Father, but as you have pointed out, you _do not_  have jurisdiction in this trial. This is beyond your authority and comes from a higher power. A higher power who has entrusted us, the Representatives, to judge on their behalf. For you to interfere, is for you to go against _them_ , something I am almost certain about, you do not wish to do.

 

“Truth be told, _I do not_ want this for the Midgardian Anthony Stark. I do not wish this. I have tried every method to dissuade him from continuing his representation of the accused, and I also admit that this revelation of events is none like any other I have seen before. Despite all of this, law still dictates that the accused _is_  allowed a representative, and the representative is allowed to make decisions on their behalf and on behalf of the accused.”

 

“You do not have to ask him to risk his life though,” Odin insisted.

 

Gaia swallowed, her features barely masking her dejection. “It is the only guarantee I have, All-Father. Anthony Stark is adamant that your son has indeed changed. I am wiling to give him a chance. A chance that _has_  to come with consequences, for we cannot be made fools of once again, we cannot risk the safety of the world _once again._ ”

 

Mother Earth turned to look at Tony, her mood of sorrow radiating inside all of them. “Do you accept my terms, Anthony Edward Stark?”

 

Loki had begun to struggle once again, mirroring Steve’s equal panic. _No, this was bullshit!_  Screw her and her arguments, all of it was bullshit! There was no way he was going to watch Tony do this.

 

“You don’t have to my child -”

 

“I accept.”

 

A simple acceptance from Tony and it was enough to stun everyone present, even the collective prosecutors themselves; enough to knock the breath right out of Steve.

 

Before the super-soldier flung himself past both Thor and Odin in order to reach Tony, Bucky’s voice ringing aloud in the courtroom had Steve rooted in place.

 

“If he accepts, then I’m putting my life on the line too.”

 

Bucky’s interruption had all heads swivelling in his direction; Steve’s bewildered expression and Sam’s harshly whispered question of, _“What the hell are you doing?”_ going completely ignored by the ex-sergeant; his expression serious, steel-blue eyes directly on Gaia.

 

Though it was Tony’s astounded, “What are you doing?” that turned Bucky’s attention to him.

 

“If you’re risking your life, then so am I. What’s the big deal, right? It obviously doesn’t matter.”

 

“This isn’t a joke!” Tony retorted fiercely.

 

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Bucky returned in equal fervour, gaze back on Gaia. “If he can risk his life so casually, and you people don’t seem to care, then why not add mine to the list?”

 

“This is insane, he doesn’t speak for me!” Tony interrupted.

 

This was genuinely the first time, throughout this entire trial, that Steve had seen Tony so rattled. The man hadn’t reacted this way when the truth about his ring was revealed, hadn’t reacted this way when Thor had interrupted or when Loki had, had not reacted when he, as Bucky had put it, so casually offered up his own life…

 

That gave Steve enough reason to do the same. “I put my life on the line as well.” Bucky didn’t seem to like _that_ idea very much however Steve realised, when his wrist flared up in pain. But it had been worth it to finally have Tony acknowledge him.

 

“Are you both _out of your minds_? _This has nothing to do with you._ ”

 

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Steve replied fervently. “If Tony can risk his life, then I don’t see why any of us shouldn’t be able to either.”

 

Before Tony could say anything else in turn however, Gaia had interceded. “I’m afraid that is not how this court works. While I admire your enthusiasm, and the love you obviously have for your friend, Mr. Stark has presented himself as a representative, while you have not, and only he can make calls on behalf of the accused.”

 

Bucky shrugged. “Well I stand as a representative as well then.”

 

“I’m afraid your chance has passed.”

 

“Fine,” Bucky soldiered on, unrelenting. “Ask him to risk _my_ life then. His own life clearly doesn’t mean anything to him. Would the lives of the people he’s called friends in the past matter to him?”

 

Tony’s reaction was immediate; the engineer looking back at Bucky in disbelief, anger and _hurt._  “This has nothing to do with you! You have nothing to do with Loki!”

 

Bucky just wasn’t having it. “But everything to do with _you._ But you don’t care right? About how any of this impacts us, _me_?”

 

“You _are_  my friend. And you will _always_ matter to me,” Tony responded earnestly, his expression making Steve’s chest ache, before turning back to face Gaia. “But I have to do this. And I accept. I will put my life on the line for Loki.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I accept. _I accept_.” 

 

Bucky’s complete and utter despondence at the rejection, Natasha’s aggrieved screams, Sam’s unrelenting protests and Thor’s bellowing cries of indignation had Steve hurling himself toward the stage, running toward Tony.

 

Though time suddenly seemed to stand still, as hands grabbed him from behind, pulling him away from Tony, pulling him and the other Avengers toward the exit of the courtroom; the dómari's bellows of, “Get them out of here! Get them out of my courtroom immediately!” reverberating in the halls.

 

The last thing Steve remembered seeing was watching Tony look away from them, wearing a solemn yet determined expression. And the last thing Steve remembered feeling… was how much that reaction _hurt._

 

—

 

“Your friends seem to care very much for you, Mr. Stark. It must hurt to see them being pulled away?”

 

Tony didn’t dignify Mother Earth with a response. He couldn’t think on what had just taken place. “I know the consequences of the decision I have made and I stand by it.”

 

Tony tried equally hard to ignore the still protests coming from the god on the platform above and across from him.

 

The dark-haired woman, with skin like porcelain, looked back at Tony for many long moments, as if she could get him to crack just by staring long enough. Tony did not relent.

 

Eventually, the woman sighed, conceding. “Very well then. Six months it is. If Loki doesn’t manage to convince Mrs. Clarke to forgive him for his crimes, then you will both be sentenced to die.” Mother Earth’s chartreuse-green, grief-laden eyes shifted to the judge’s. “That is our judgement, Dómari Asmund.” Tony realised that this was the only time the representative genuinely sounded defeated.

 

The judge nodded. “All right, thank-you Mother Gaia.” He waited till Mother Earth moved back to join her other representatives in the jury box, before addressing the audience at large.

 

“Well, we’ve all been witness here today to the judgement that has been passed for the case of the people of Asgard and Midgard versus the accused, Loki, son of Laufey. The judgement passed by the Grand Jury, representatives of the Celestials is as follows: The accused is to convince one Kimberley Antonia Clarke of Midgard, to forgive him of the crimes that he has committed against her personally.

 

“This must come as genuine forgiveness obviously; not with coercion of any kind or influence from any members of society of Midgard or Asgard. If such a thing were to happen, or if Laufeyson fails to achieve this in the timeframe specified, the case will be dismissed immediately, and the accused as well as the Midgardian Anthony Edward Stark, will be sentenced to death. Six moths is the time. And that time starts now. 

 

“Judgement has been passed, the case is adjourned until then. You are all free to leave.”

 

Tony let out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding.

 

Now, it was time to stall,

 

The inevitable.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write too much. 
> 
> (Also pls let me know if you're reading this, otherwise I might just call it quits here, given motivation has run very thin).


	4. River Flows in You

 

 

Tony took in a long, wavering breath.

 

Then he took in another.

 

And another.

 

His fingers hadn’t stopped shaking since the moment he had arrived back on earth, prisoner in tow, accompanied by Sif.

 

Now he stood facing one of the wall’s back in his makeshift room at Avengers base, waiting.

 

Waiting what exactly for, Tony still wasn’t quite sure.

 

Upon arriving back to the compound, the trio had been greeted by Strange, who had Wanda assist him, as arranged by the All Father. Strange had been set as the main liaison to Asgard and had accepted an agreement to be the one to assist in Loki’s trial. More specifically being accountable for Loki’s whereabouts and ensuring the Jotun was kept as well imprisoned as possible.

 

So Strange, along with Wanda, had put up a magical blockade around the entire Avengers compound, meaning Loki would be unable to leave the premises via magical means. The blockade was to be extended to a remote part of the base, the quarters where Loki was to be kept in a cell that would be monitored at all times; this blockade was to be implemented only by Strange however, to ensure that nobody but he or Tony could interact with Loki.

 

Sif, who was now Asgard’s primary liaison to earth during this trial, and Tony had barely communicated when they had left Asgard after receiving the All Father’s permission; Loki sent with them with chains still bound around his hands and feet, mouth muzzled.

 

Tony barely remembered registering Odin’s grief stricken expression or Heimdall’s open concern, before he, Sif and Loki were beamed down to earth.

 

After Strange had done explaining all he had been instructed to do, and all he had already done, he had then proceeded to escort Loki to the area where he was to be held, with Sif’s assistance. However, Tony had declined to go along with them, feeling both paradoxically numb yet overwhelmed at the same time. That had gotten him quizzical looks from Strange, Wanda and Sif (Tony had still refused to look directly at Loki), before the engineer couldn’t bare the scrutiny any longer, and had his made his way inside the compound, away from them.

 

And so now he stood, in some unoccupied room of the compound, just staring aimlessly at the wall.

 

He had been so consumed by thoughts of everything that had occurred in the preceding twenty-four hours, that the harsh opening of the door behind him, caught him off guard, making him flinch.

 

“You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?”

 

Tony barely had a second to spare to collect himself, before he was harshly turned around, coming face to face with an irate, “Rhodey…”

 

Tony let out a sigh, looking back into his friend’s furious dark eyes.Rhodey’s grip on his arm did not lighten. “Don’t ‘Rhodey’ me _, what the hell is going on Tony?”_

 

There was so much that Tony didn’t know how to explain as he continued to stare back Rhodey, almost in hopeless resignation. “There’s…” he hesitated, fighting with his words, eventually settling with, “It’s fine, alright? It’s - everything’s okay, you don’t need to worry.”

 

This seem to incense Tony’s best friend even further. “I-I don’t need to _worry_ , _are you serious_?” Rhodey scoffed. “What is this about Loki? They found him?”

 

Tony nodded helplessly.

 

“You don’t tell me - I have to find this out through Pepper..?! What were you doing in Asgard?”

 

“I…” Tony struggled with his words, his thoughts, _everything._ What was he supposed to tell Rhodey. How on earth could Tony make Rhodey _understand._

 

Rhodey just wasn’t having it. “Cut the crap! They’re saying you risked your life for him, is this true? _Is this true, Tony?!”_

 

“It’s- It’s not that simple -”

 

“Well make it that simple!” Rhodey threw his hands up in frustration, finally letting go of his bruising grip on Tony. “What are they talking about?”

 

“Rhodey I - I….”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“… I don’t know how to explain it to you.”

 

“Well you better start somewhere. I’m this close to socking you in the face.”

 

Tony could see his friend’s breathing get harsher, laboured as the ferocity of Rhodey’s words demanded more exertion of energy on the older man’s part. Tony didn’t doubt the man would go through with his threat. Tony couldn’t recall ever seeing his friend this distraught.

 

The anxiety in Tony’s chest started to creep along his sternum, breaking away from its confines, slowly, agonisingly. He decided to put some distance between himself and Rhodey.

 

The best approach Tony figured to explaining himself would be to be truthful, even if the truth didn’t make much sense to him.

 

“He saved my life, okay? He saved my life.”

 

Rhodey’s eyes widened in horror. “So - so, what they’re saying is true? That he - that he did something and… what, now your souls are _combined?_ ”

 

The disbelieving accusation falling from Rhodey’s lips felt like a knife through Tony’s gut. He tried to not let it show. “Yeah kind of.”

 

“ _Kind of?”_ Rhodey threw at him. “Tony do you _hear yourself_? _This is insane!_ ”

 

“I know, alright?” Tony responded in equal frustration, running rough hands through unkempt hair. “I know - I just…”

 

“You just what, huh? You just _what?_ You weren’t gonna tell me? You weren’t gonna tell anybody? You were just gonna run off and do whatever you want, like always?”

 

Tony, who had turned facing away from Rhodey, spun back around at the accusation, eyes registering hurt. “That’s not fair, Rhodey. Alright, alright? I didn’t want this..! This is - I had to do this, okay? He saved my life, I had to save his!”

 

Rhodey shook his head in disbelief. “How do you know this isn’t all just a means to control you?”

 

“Because I’m - !” Tony bit into his bottom lip, in order to stop himself from screaming, tearing the flesh but welcoming the pain as a distraction from the war raging on inside his head. “I’m not being controlled. Okay? I’m - I’m not.”

 

 _“How do you know?_ I’m mean _you risked your life for him?_ What - what if he doesn’t,” Rhodey gestured hysterically with his hands, his expression desperate yet unyielding at the same time, “He doesn’t do whatever his sentence requires him to do, you die as well?! How is that not control? How is that _not_ manipulation?”

 

Tony’s friend started to pace the room, as if attempting to calm himself, though obviously failing. “I mean you’re really telling me that because of what he did, that - that isn’t the reason why you’re doing this? I mean, you just admitted it right? You felt like you owed him a debt, but how do you know it’s not because he’s controlling you?”

 

“Because Rhodes…” Tony paused, breathing through his nose, before continuing, “Because it doesn’t matter - it doesn’t matter if he hadn’t saved my life, I would still be defending him.”

 

Rhodey looked as though Tony had physically hit him. “You’re insane…”

 

Tony tried to school his features into one of indifference.“Call it whatever, I don’t care. I would have done this irrespective.”

 

Rhodey didn’t buy what Tony was offering. _“Why, Tony?_ Why? Does he mean more to you then _we do_? Is that - is that it? The rest of us just don’t matter to you. What, you’ve become B.F.Fs. for life with a murderous psychopath?”

 

The metaphorical punches just seemed to keep coming from Rhodey; Tony worrying that if this continued he would be left debilitated. “That’s not fair Rhodey!”

 

“You don’t care about us, do you? You never have..!”

 

“That is not fair! _I love you!_ Okay? I would do this for you in a heartbeat.”

 

Rhodey was silent at Tony’s outburst, watching Tony with an aggrieved expression, before he let out a bitter laugh. “You ‘love’ us?” he scoffed. “What a joke Tony. What a _freaking joke!_ You don’t sacrifice your _life_ , not sparing a thought for the people you supposedly love. Because if you had any idea of how we felt about you, you wouldn’t have just callously risked your life - a life that doesn’t really belong to you!”

 

Rhodey had moved closer toward Tony in his tirade, distance decreasing with each statement he hurled at Tony, before he was jabbing a finger into Tony’s chest; eyes threatening to spill as of yet unshed tears.

 

“It belongs to the people that love you. It belongs to _me_ , it belongs to _Pepper_. But you just _throw it away_ like it doesn’t matter to you - it never matters to you - it never matters what any of us think. You don’t care about us. You don’t ‘love’ us.”

 

“That’s not…” Tony’s voice broke. “Don’t - don’t do this, okay? Don’t…this is _really_ unfair.”

 

“Yeah… I _know_. Welcome to the club!”

 

Rhodey just stood watching Tony, while Tony couldn’t bare the scrutiny, closing his eyes briefly before opening them to focus on a remote point on the floor.

 

“You die Tony, what do you think will happen to us?” Rhodey’s voice cracked at the question, the man sounding devastated to Tony’s ears. “Huh? How do you think your family’s gonna react? And I don’t mean those assholes that betrayed you, okay? Those - those _pretenders_ that pretend like they’re your friends. I mean me, Pepper, Happy, your bots, _Pete_ \- your real family - did you think about us at all? Did you think about what risking your life would mean to any one of us? Hell, to even Caro? Your life doesn’t belong to you and you just gamble it away?”

 

Rhodey’s desolate tone, and the fact that he sounded as though he was pleading with Tony, forcibly drew Tony’s attention back toward him. Tony regretted doing so almost immediately when he saw the wrecked expression on the other man’s face.

 

“How do I explain this to you… Rhodey? How do… This… this thing that happened, I can’t explain it - and I know you - all of you are gonna think that he’s controlling me or whatever but…” Tony took in a deep breath, becoming increasingly frustrated with himself for struggling with his words, before continuing, “You know what he said in that courtroom? Loki? He was willing to die for me because he couldn’t watch _me_ die. That - that he was there - that he crossed that rip in the universe to make sure I’d be safe. He was - he was willing to accept whatever punishment they were going to throw at him so long as it meant I didn’t interfere.”

 

And Tony still couldn’t understand it. Didn’t understand why Loki did what he did. What it all meant. Every time he tried to think about it, which was constantly now, it made his head hurt.

 

 _“Then why didn’t you listen to him?”_ Rhodey demanded of him, only adding to Tony’s ever growing frustration.

 

“Don’t you see Rhodey he - he - he died for me, this _god_ that you people think is some murderous psychopath who is only known for the atrocities that he’s committed - I mean _fine,_ that’s fair, you know he has… he’s - he’s responsible for deaths but so _am I_ Rhodey and - and…. I mean theycall him selfish, right? They say that he doesn’t care, they say that he’s a monster but if he’s all these things then why did he do what he did? Rhodey he was _broken.”_

 

“I don’t…” Rhodey seemed undeterred. “What does that matter Tony? I don’t care that he’s suddenly come to the realisation that he’s been an asshole this entire time. I don’t care about him _at all_.”

 

“Well I do!”

 

The admission from Tony stunned even him. It certainly had an impact on Rhodey if his wide eyes and stock-still posture was anything to go by.

 

Tony swallowed. “This isn’t - this isn’t as black and white as you all are trying to make it out to be,” the engineer attempted to explain. “I care about him. Yes this is the first time I’ve admitted it out loud but just as he couldn’t watch me die, _I_ couldn’t stand by and let him be sentenced to death. I couldn’t watch that… and not do anything to stop it.”

 

“You… ‘care’ about him?” Rhodey’s voice was hollow. “More than you care about us?”

 

“Of course no - ” Tony couldn’t understand why he stopped just then. Of course logically he knew that he cared about his friends a lot more, but why did the idea of giving Loki less importance, seem to cause resistance within him. Tony felt like he was going to lose his mind.

 

“It’s not that simple,” Tony eventually settled on. “And I’m - I’m sorry, _I am_ , but there’s… I had to do this. I had to do this knowing the risks involved. I can’t explain it. I couldn’t watch him die. I had to watch him die once before and I couldn’t let it go, and had he been sentenced to death and I’d known I would have been able to do something about it and I didn’t, it would have destroyed me. Now I don’t know what kind of Tony Stark you would’ve wanted around you Rhodey but I don’t think, I don’t think you’d want around a wreck that couldn’t be salvaged because that’s what I felt like I would’ve ended up becoming.”

 

_“Why?”_

 

“I… I can’t explain it. I’m serious, I… Apart from the explanation that I care about him.”

 

“I hope it was worth it Tony, because if you go down, you’re gonna be taking a hell of a lot of people down with you.”

 

 

—

 

 

“What the hell was that Thor? _What the hell was that?_ I thought - I thought the whole reason you came to get us was so that we were going to _save_ his life, not watch him throw it away! What - What did you think was _going to happen_?”

 

“I genuinely did not think he was going to do that.”

 

“You said he was going to risk his life! But you didn’t even tell us the full story! And yet you just take us there? And then tell us we can’t interfere? What the hell?”

 

Steve paced around the lavish Asgardian room that was supposedly a guest chamber while they waited for the Crown to officially release them. Apparently disrupting the court proceedings in Asgard was a criminal offence, which called for imprisonment for at least 24 hours, before the courts decided how to proceed, though seeing as the prince himself was involved, the dómari left it up to Odin to dictate what to do. Natasha and Sam were with him in the room, though Bucky had chosen to remain outside, keeping to himself, as he hadn’t been able to quite recover from the shock of what had taken place. 

 

So now they waited, while Tony had already made his way back to earth with Loki and Sif, Asgard’s appointed liaison to earth. Steve still struggled to digest what Tony had done in that courtroom but hours ago.

 

“Honestly…” Thor insisted, “My intention was that if he realised his friends were there too, the people that genuinely cared about him, were there too, asking him to stop, Tony wouldn’t have gone ahead with whatever it was he was planning.”

 

Steve sent Thor an accusatory glare. “Did you know that this would happen? Did you know?”

 

Thor only shook his head in refusal. “I didn’t think they would have sentenced Loki to die. I just thought that I - I thought that maybe they would sentence him to life imprisonment and that Tony was going to ardently disagree, put himself at risk somehow because representatives _can_ do that. They can stake their name and their reputation and - and that was what I genuinely believed he was going to do. I didn’t - I didn’t think he would go ahead and risk his life. I thought that if we protested, if you’d protested in someway, then he would have stopped, he wouldn’t have considered it.”

 

“Then why didn’t you let us speak before he went ahead and made himself a representative? Why didn’t you let us stop him then?”

 

“Because!” Thor threw his hands up in frustration, looking for all the world like the burdens of his life had finally become overwhelming. “Asgardian law dictates that when somebody comes up to stand as a representative, no persons in the gathered courtroom must interfere, especially not somebody from the royal family. If any of us would have protested then, the dómari  would have thrown us out of the courtroom. They would have removed Tony as well, because he would have been associated with us, and the courts would have seen him as attempting to interfere with the sentencing and slowing down the processions.

 

“And with him gone, there would have been nobody standing on behalf of Loki and well, he would have _died_. And I don’t know if Tony Stark would have ever been able to forgive us for that. I’d had to at least - I had to allow him to be a representative, but I wanted him to be persuaded by knowing that we were there, that he shouldn’t make any sort of reckless, stupid, naive risks on Loki’s behalf. I did not expect this to happen, my friend! I am being nothing but sincere when I say this.” Thor’s shoulders slumped where he stood, the god appearing much smaller in that moment than his usual domineering stature would allow.

 

“I didn’t think his feelings, whatever they may be for Loki, I did not think they would go this far - I had no idea about the ring on his finger! He had said something strange to Representative Kooma when we had requested a council with the Celestials, but I hadn’t know what it had all meant - hadn’t known Loki had _split his soul_. I am truly sorry my friends.”

 

“Is there any way to stop this?” Natasha asked from where she was sat on a nearby couch, expression sombre. “Is there any way to change this?”

 

“I’m afraid not,” Thor responded. “Once the sentence has been passed on a trial, there is nothing we can do to change the outcome. The representatives have made up their minds.”

 

“Can it be true that Loki is controlling him?” Sam asked from next to Natasha, the man looking like he had been to hell and back; his demeanour weary.

 

“I do not know. Though, what I saw of my brother in that courtroom, I have never seen such a reaction from him before,” Thor explained; wonder and confusion both present on his face. “In the entirety of the time that I have known him, I have never seen such raw emotion from him. I’ve never seen it towards me, I’ve never seen it toward any other civilian of Asgard, except for the grief that he had felt at losing our mother.

 

“This… this was something different. This was desperation, a fear, such a fierce emotion that I’ve never seen from him, in all our years together. He sincerely wanted to protect Tony Stark. That is the one truth that I know.”

 

“What happened between them..?” Natasha asked out loud, curiosity seemingly getting the better of her.

 

Thor shook his head. “I… I cannot be certain. When I was there, with Tony and Loki, when they met with the Celestials, Loki hadn’t hesitated - he hadn’t hesitated in wanting to go through that portal in the sky with Tony Stark. He had volunteered.”

 

Steve was bewildered.“They didn’t make him do it?”

 

“No…The Celestials hadn’t seem to mind. In that moment I’d realised that Loki, for the first time, seemed to care about someone aside from himself, a Midgardian of all people, but he did and I believed them to be friends. I was happy for my brother. That he’d finally made a connection with another creature in the universe, a creature from the earth that he’d thought he would someday rule.

 

“Loki had known that he could have died. Tony had known the same. They both survived. Loki did that. If I’m honest with you, the fact that he might want to control Tony Stark seems bizarre to me, at least from what I’ve seen. Then again, I’ve been wrong about my brother many times in the past, so I don’t know. But in all honesty, all we can do now is attempt to move forward, in order to figure out how to remedy this situation, how to help them before time runs out.”

 

“But we’re not allowed to interfere,” Sam replied, getting up from his seat; arms now folded across his chest. “They said as much right? No human intervention or whatever?”

 

“We don’t have to meddle but we can at least attempt to help them convince this woman, who seems to hate our very existence. We have to figure out a plan, a plan to how we move past this. How do we solve this?”

 

“Is that even possible?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean this…” Sam appeared to struggle with his words as he sought to explain. “Have you met this woman? Have you seen her on t.v.? She hates us, honestly she - she would rather gather all of us up and gas us than listen to anything we have to say. She wants us wiped out!”

 

“Mother Earth really pulled one over us, didn’t she?” Natasha scoffed. “So much for caring about her own people.”

 

Thor’s breathing appeared uneven to Steve from where the Asgardian stood facing his friends; voice an octave higher as failing conviction spilled from the cracks. “Obviously this is an enemy that is difficult to defeat but we’ve done it before -”

 

Natasha clicked her tongue, in an act of frustration that was rare for her. “Really Thor? This isn’t something we can throw punches at. Loki was the reason why her entire family got wiped out, her husband got killed - why her son is now fatherless. She’s seen all the devastation the Avengers have caused; Battle of New York aside, we’re responsible for what happened in D.C., we’re responsible for what happened in South Africa, in Lagos, in Sokovia - that’s why the Accords exist.

 

“Believe it or not, there are many people out there that think we’re even responsible for Thanos’ invasion. There’s no wonder they hate us. And now, we’re what? Supposed to convince this woman? Without even getting near her? Without being able to directly speak to her? Otherwise it’s going to be seen as coercion? What plan do we _have?_ ”

 

“We can’t give up though,” Thor pleaded to the room at large.

 

“Nobody’s saying we’re gonna give up,” Steve finally chimed in again, with barely-there assurance. “Just seems like an uphill battle, and it’s a long way down.”

 

 

—

 

 

“You’re not gonna look at me? Is that it?”

 

Tony had finally gathered enough courage and mental stability, in order to make his way down toward the now fully magically protected, cordoned off area where Loki was kept.

The reinforced glass pane that separated Loki’s cell from the outside world, was eerily similar to the one that had kept him their prisoner in 2012. There were cameras in high and low reaching places, hidden from sight, watching Loki’s every move, from every angle imaginable. Tony felt a chill travel up his spine when he realised he could also _feel_ the magical barriers that were in place all around this isolated area, something he was sure his former human body would have been unable to do.

 

Tony had spent a good few minutes outside Loki’s cell just watching the man; the lighting in the room not as harsh as Tony remembered it from all those years ago. Loki no longer bore chains around his hand and feet, nor a muzzle was present around his mouth. He had at least been given some freedom inside his cell. 

 

He had waited for Loki’s acknowledgement, a reaction of some kind to his person, though Loki remained in exactly the same position. He was sat on the accompanying bed, facing forward, head bowed with his face curtained behind his dark hair, as if in silent prayer.

 

Minutes had passed, and Loki hadn’t moved a fraction; a complete contrast to his hysterical, pleading behaviour from not that long ago.

 

Tony had grown tired of waiting. “Really?” he asked in frustration, his voice much louder now, hoping to coax a response from the Asgardian prisoner.

 

Seconds passed still, and just when Tony thought he’d have to turn back around and head back, a soft question finally passed pale lips. “Why did you do it?”

 

Loki’s head was still bowed however, as he continued to speak, while Tony waited on bated breath. “Why did you do it?” This time the question had a lot more force behind it, a form of accusation. “I didn’t risk my life for you Tony Stark, only for you to turn around and throw it away, throw it back in my face… No I can’t look at you.”

 

Tony was incredulous; taking a few steps forward, closer to the cell. “Really, you’re upset with _me?_ You’re the one who decided to extend my life without my permission. You tied _my soul to yours?_ Do you know how _insane_ that is?”

 

Loki finally raised his head, and Tony felt his breath catch. The man’s skin was sallow, face gaunt, expression haunted as eyes looked back at Tony with unconcealed hurt. Although his behaviour was better controlled, Loki’s physique looked exactly the same as it had in the courtroom, seeing as much time hadn’t passed to warrant any kind of change. “I’m not going to apologise for saving your life,” Loki asserted. “It’s redundant anyway, isn’t it? You just threw it away.”

 

Tony shook his head at the accusation. “Loki…. why did you do that? I don’t understand. What does this even mean? Am I a god now, or something? Do I live forever? Do you know how much I _don’t_ want that?”

 

Loki’s face further constricted, in a display of unyielding pain; his voice was so low, Tony would have missed it without his newfound abilities. “Is this… Is this your way of punishing me? Of punishing yourself? So you take a gamble on your life? Because you don’t want to live anymore?”

 

Tony flinched at that. “That’s not what this is.”

 

“It’s not what it sounds like. I was telling the truth. I couldn’t watch you die.”

 

The admission again from Loki did weird things to Tony’s heart. He couldn’t explain it. Just hearing the god say that out loud was… something else. “Why not?”

 

Tony had to give a disbelieving laugh when all Loki did was shrug.

 

“Really, that’s your answer? Just a shrug?” The engineer walked closer toward the glass pane. He came so close, there was barely any space separating him from it. “My life is now connected to yours. What does that mean? If I die, so do you; if you die, so do I? If you’d died, would have I died anyway?”

 

“Of course not.” Loki was on his feet at that, becoming mobile for the first time since their conversation began. _“Of course not._ I thought the court proceedings was obvious enough for you to know that. That would have defeated the purpose of me splitting my soul in the first place. That’s not how this works.”

 

“Then explain it to me,” Tony pushed back. “Because I don’t get it.”

 

Loki moved toward the glass pane as well, coming to stand directly in front of where Tony was, the glass being the only barrier between them.

 

Green eyes studied Tony in scrutiny, as if Tony himself held all the world’s secrets, before pale lips moved to explain. “A part of my soul that is in that ring on your finger,” Loki’s eyes shifted to briefly to acknowledge the metal adorning Tony’s finger, before flickering back to Tony’s face, “It was to keep your body whole, to keep your soul attached to it. My power was enough to ensure your body didn’t get…” Tony watched Loki struggle with his words, as if they were causing him physical pain. “In order to stop your body from being evaporated right out of existence.”

 

Was it difficult for Loki to talk about Tony’s potential death…? Tony had to wonder.

 

“So your magic, your soul, keeps me alive?” he asked of the Jotun instead.

 

Loki simply nodded, eyes still studying Tony. “Yes. My power kept your person in tact.”

 

Tony had to look away at that. The naked admission from Loki made it hard for him to concentrate on anything else. Loki really had sacrificed himself for Tony. “Did you know it would have worked?”

 

“I had no idea. I just took a chance,” Loki replied softly.

 

“And if you’d failed?”

 

“We wouldn’t be standing here, separated by glass, having this conversation.”

 

Tony’s eyes were back on Loki’s face again. “Did you honestly know you wouldn’t have survived?”

 

“I don’t know. It was unlikely I would have.”

 

Tony still didn’t understand, why Loki had done that? If he had had any opportunity to survive, why wouldn’t he have saved himself instead of Tony? Was Gaia correct when she had said that Loki’s chances of surviving would have increased after splitting his soul? But Loki had said he hadn’t preempted doing anything of the sort, he just hadn’t been able to watch Tony die…

 

“What do we do now?” was all Tony could ask instead.

 

The reaction that followed from Loki should have been expected.

 

“What do we do now?” Loki scoffed. “Are you… Is this a joke to you? Tony Stark I saved your life because I wanted you to live. Because, because you’re a better man than _I will ever be_.” That admission however, hit Tony like a freight train. Loki… Loki really _thought that of him?_

 

Tony Stark was a lot of things - a ‘better man’ was something he most certainly was not. There was so much blood on his hands, that to this day, he spent many nights awake, unable to drown out the noise of his past. Alien armies charging through space was only a part of the horror he had seen and been a part of, over the course of his life.

 

“Human or alien. You had the potential to do more good for this world… _alive_. And you threw that chance away.” Loki looked like he was breaking apart at the seems, much in the same way he had done during the trial. “Those prosecutors up there, the courts, they weren’t willing to pardon me. They had no intention to. But you had to go and do something so stupid, you foolish human. You _child_.”

 

Tony should have felt offended by the insults, though he understood better. Loki was hurting. Loki was venting. He was furious at the decision Tony had made. That was defensible.

 

“They were there to sentence me. I was supposed to die, just as it was intended when facing the Mad Titan. I should have paid my dues back then, and I would have been made to pay them after the sentence was passed, but you went and interfered, all for _nothing. Nothing,_ Tony Stark. I begged for you to not do this.”

 

Hearing Loki say all of this without constraint, made Tony angrier at the Asgardian prosecutors, at the entire system, because it was obvious they were never willing to give Loki a fair trial. And that is one of the reasons Tony didn’t feel guilty about his decision. Loki had never stood a chance. The only opportunity he received was because of Tony’s interference. Tony would not apologise for that.

 

“Mother Earth, for all that she stands for, wasn’t willing to pardon me, that much was obvious. The representatives weren’t there to ‘cut me some slack’,” Loki continued, mirroring Tony’s words from the trial. “This, this request of yours, it’s only going to fail. It’s _meant_ to fail. How on earth do you convince a woman that hates your very existence to forgive you for crimes against her family?

 

“Tony Stark, people aren’t as forgiving as you out there, in the rest of the universe. I would know, because I used to be one of those people. We are not all so selfless, especially not when we have been wronged.”

 

What Tony couldn’t understand was why Loki thought so…highly? No. So… Why would he think Tony was any better than him? Than any other person among the many in the universe? Tony was just as selfish as the rest, just as human, just as flawed, if not more so. He didn’t deserve Loki’s sentiment.

 

He really couldn’t even begin to explain this to the Jotun, so he settled with, “Really, that’s it? You’re just giving up?”

 

Loki looked almost offended at that. “Of course I won’t _give up_. Your life is at risk now. I _hate it_. Hate that you would throw it away, after everything…

 

“But I won’t just give up on you.”

 

 

—

 

 

The rip in the universe, unsurprisingly, didn’t come without other consequences; this newfound consequence seemingly significant. A doorway to other universes kind of significant.

 

Apparently the fracture along the physical plane of this universe had caused major instability in the greater scheme of the theorised multiverse. That, combined with the use of the infinity stones and their power, had lead to a vacuum in space which acts as a doorway into another supposed universe or universes, with a different hypothesised timeline.

 

Just fucking great.

 

As if the world wasn’t still recovering from a catastrophic war with disastrous consequences of its own, now this.

 

Honestly, somedays it felt like the universe was just specifically fucking with Tony, thinking up of all the ways that life could go wrong in any given moment, and conjure up new things with zero breathers in between.

 

This was just what he needed on top of everything else.

 

Thankfully Banner and Selvig, along with Jane Foster, were working on ways to close this supposed doorway already, however with the tesseract now destroyed Tony realised it was going to be an even greater challenge.

 

After speaking to Loki that night, Tony had barely gotten any sleep, though fortunately in the next twenty-four hours that followed, he’d managed to avoid the other Avengers, including the ones who’d made their way back from Asgard. As soon as dawn had hit, Tony had gotten in his suit, and flown all the way to his house in Malibu, in an attempt to escape at least momentarily.

 

But as was always the case with him, the peace hadn’t lasted very long, for not even a day later, he’d gotten a phone call from Nick Fury, who had apparently known about the existence of this doorway for a while now, but had only then decided it was important enough to mention.

 

Typical.

 

Initially, the man had suspected his S.H.I.E.L.D agents would have been able to handle the doorway themselves, though obviously that was a little too hopeful on Fury’s part.

 

So here Tony was, sat in one of the agency’s conference room surrounded by three other Avengers, who he had deliberately avoided thus far - none of whom appeared even remotely accepting of that knowledge, if the angry glances were anything to go by. Stephen Strange and Fury were also present at the head of the conference table, while Strange prattled off information, Tony had already managed to gather himself about this doorway.

 

“So as you can now tell, we need to close this doorway as soon as possible, as its continued existence will only lead to further instability,” Strange finished by saying.

 

“Why don’t we ask Tony’s representative pals to close the doorway?”

 

Tony internally sighed. Well, it would have been foolish for him to think that the meeting could have ended without some kind of confrontation between him and his teammates.

 

_Here we go._

 

“They can do this shit right? They’re all powerful?”

 

“They’re not my friends Clint,” Tony responded, attempting to keep frustration out of his voice. Though that immediately failed when Clint shot back with, “Oh right, that’s right, I forgot. They - I mean - they sentenced you to die, so I guess they’re really not your friends.”

 

Tony looked back at the man across from him in annoyance. “Will you give it a rest?”

 

That only seemed to incense the archer further. “A rest? Really? I didn’t think we’d even started.”

 

“Clint, come on,” Steve from next to Clint, tried to intervene.

 

Clint barked out an incredulous laugh, directing his attention toward Steve, then the room at large. “You’re joking right? What, none of you want to chew him out as well?”

 

“This is not the time and place,” Steve replied, with minimal conviction.

 

“But he has a point though.”

 

Tony’s attention was immediately on the man to Clint’s left. “You too Sam?”

 

If Sam had been holding back from firing off angry retorts this entire time, he was definitely letting them loose now. “I mean when do we talk about this? It’s already been forty-eight hours, and you’ve been avoiding us Stark.”

 

Tony couldn’t believe this. _Stark?_ So they were doing this now.

 

“You can’t just run away from this.”

 

“I’m not running away from anything,” Tony countered.

 

Sam was having none of it. “Really? Then where have you been for the past two days?”

 

“I’ve had to rest, Sam. I’ve been awake for so long.”

 

Sam, who had been standing during the meeting, moved closer toward Tony, gesturing wildly. “What, a week? Is this when you were chasing after Loki? Hiding things from us?”

 

“Are you serious?” Tony replied in equal fervour, “This isn’t about you guys.”

 

“Clearly. Because you make decisions for all of us.”

 

Tony was actually taken aback by the accusation. “What? How did I make _decisions for you?_ This involves me! This doesn’t involve any of you!”

 

“Okay, enough,” Fury finally sounded off, his patience having apparently run thin. Stephen Strange in that moment had decided that that would have been the best time for him to exit. “Whatever decision Stark’s made, he’s made it himself.”

 

“Can you butt out of this?” Clint countered, shooting out of his seat.

 

Fury was none too happy at the display. “Excuse me?”

 

Clint, seemingly channeling Sam in that moment, gestured toward Fury. “This hasn’t got anything to do with you!”

 

“And it _hasn’t_ got anything to do with _you,_ ” Fury threw back at the archer.

 

“You’re joking right? He’s our teammate. We rely on him!”

 

“Hell forget that,” Sam piped in once again, rounding on Tony. “He’s our _friend!_ And he doesn’t even tell us anything. I mean this is what started the Civil War right?”

 

That really got Tony’s hackles up. If they were collectively trying to get under his skin, then they had very much succeeded. “Don’t bring _that_ into this. It’s not the same.”

 

“How is it not the same? One person makes decisions for everybody?”

 

Tony was out of his seat, fists slamming against the glass surface of the table. “That never happened Sam!”

 

“Huh? Well it looks like we lived different stories.”

 

Tony had to steady his breathing at that, for his mood had only been teetering on the side of vexation but had now fully embraced it. He had to be careful with what he said next, or he might be hurling somebody out of the window if his anger got the better of him. “Listen, I know you guys are upset -”

 

“Upset?” Tony’s attention was immediately on Steve, who finally seemed to let his displeasure filter through. “Upset doesn’t even cut it Tony. Try _devastated_ , try feeling helpless. You didn’t even tell us what was going on, how is that fair? Sam’s right. We made a resolution to always talk to each other. Especially about things like this. Especially things that would concern our _freaking lives_.”

 

Steve’s words were angry, but his expression looked defeated. Being a super-soldier, one would think the Captain wouldn’t have dark circles under his eyes, his face wouldn’t be devoid of colour, he wouldn’t look so… _tired_ and yet the man had a combination of all of it. Tony had expected his soul-mark to have flared up during this time, but was actually surprised to find it hadn’t bothered him at all, despite Steve’s reaction. Tony really didn’t have enough in him to care in that moment about why that was.

 

Tony however hadn’t intended to hurt Steve. He’d just… he’d just….“It’s done now, I can’t change it.”

 

“Would you?” Sam challenged. “Would you have anyway? Say if we were to do this all over again, say you knew about all our reactions now, would you have changed your decision?”

 

Tony looked back at Sam in resignation. “What do you want me to say?”

 

“The truth Tony…!” Steve all but yelled. “For goddamn once, the truth.” Tony had felt _something_ from his soul-mark just then, but it was barely significant enough to register.

 

Looking back at his teammates, Tony could see where their anger, accompanied by broken and indignant expressions, was coming from. Tony _had_ kept the truth from them, had refused to offer an explanation, and had avoided them because he hadn’t known what to say, or rather hadn’t thought it would’ve mattered in the end.

 

“Fine,” Tony settled with, “No. I wouldn’t change my mind.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“You have go to be joking…” Both Sam and Clint, interjected simultaneously, with Clint shaking his head in disgust.

 

“I had to do this, alright?” Tony contended, knowing what he was about to say next, would only make the situation worse, though needing to say it nonetheless. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

 

As expected Clint was outraged. “Like hell you don’t! Your decision affects all of us.”

 

Tony had had enough. “Well maybe it _shouldn’t!_ Okay?! Maybe it shouldn’t… Our lives _aren’t connected_. You don’t get to tell me what to do, I don’t get to tell you what to do. I’m sorry you’re upset but _yes,_ I would have done this. Because to me it was the right thing to do. It was something I had to do - and I don’t answer to any of you! If you feel like this is going to affect team dynamics or The Avengers or whatever, then maybe I should leave.”

 

 _“What?”_ Sam retorted. The man looked as though he had been slapped. “That’s your answer to this? To just up and walk away? What, is that alien soul messing up your head?”

 

“That’s a low blow.”

 

“No! A low blow is telling us all to butt out and then threatening to quit when we say something.”

 

“I’m not trying to ditch you guys.” Tony ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “But it’s clearly - it’s clearly upsetting you.”

 

“Yeah, no shit man!” Clint threw back at him. “If one of us had done the same thing, how would you have reacted?"

 

When Tony didn’t respond, Clint took in a long breath to calm his shaking frame. “What, you’re telling me that you wouldn’t be upset?”

 

Tony had to look away, feeling like the words were stuck somewhere at the back of his throat. “I don’t know… the circumstances aren’t the same.”

 

“Well shit,” Sam replied, shaking his head, looking for all the world like he was on the brink of breaking down. “Maybe you wouldn’t care, but the rest of us have a heart.”

 

Tony felt the accusation like a punch to the gut. “That’s not fair, Sam. Okay? None of this is fair. I didn’t want to lie to you, I didn’t _plan_ on it. I kept it to myself because it has to do with me, it has to do with Loki, it has to do with us. I mean, _we’re literally tied together._

 

“The fact is I didn’t ask Loki to do what he did, okay? But he did. And this is where it’s lead me. Yes, Sam I would make this decision every single time. I’m sorry that’s offensive to you or whatever.”

 

Tony turned to a silently watching Fury, who looked just as pained as the others in the room, but had refrained from saying anything else. “Maybe I should just stay away. I’ll check this thing out, but probably on my own terms and on my own time.”

 

Fury shook his head, his voice wavering. “That’s not how this works Stark.”

 

Tony had to bite his lip to keep himself from immediately yelling out, taking a few shallow breaths before, “Well fine. Maybe I’ll just step out.”

 

“No,” Steve cried out, “That’s not fair. You don’t just get to walk away.”

 

Tony paused for but a fraction of a second, taking in the faces around him, before leaving with a,

 

“Watch me.”

 

 

———

 

 

“You are the dumbest piece of shit I have ever met.”

 

“Well nice to see you too Caro.”

 

Tony had only managed to get a few floors down below the conference room at S.H.I.E.L.D., before he had been roughly grabbed by the arm and pulled into an empty office, coming face to face with none other than Carol Danvers. The blonde-haired woman was still in her uniform, likely having just returned from Algeria.

 

“Are you serious Tony, huh?” She jabbed a finger forcefully at Tony’s sternum; expression wild and furious. Tony could still see flecks of dirt along the sides of her face.

 

She was part of the rebuilding effort internationally, and hadn’t been due back in the States for another month. It looked like she had left everything on hold to fly straight back home. Tony wouldn’t have to think too hard on why that was.

 

“Do you have any idea how messed up Rhodey is right now? Do you have any idea how the rest of us are feeling? Do you even care?”

 

Funnily enough (see: not) Tony hadn’t calmed down in the thirty-six seconds since the last encounter with his other teammates. Who would have thought. “Why do you keep making this about _yourselves?_ ” Tony pulled away from the woman, shrugging off the hold she had on him in the process. “This has got nothing to do with you!”

 

“Bullshit it doesn’t!” Carol countered fervently. “If any one of us was about to die Tony, what would _you_ have done? You wouldn’t have tried everything within your power to stop it from happening? Imagine watching from the sidelines, not being able to do anything? Imagine how they felt!”

 

Tony shook his head in frustration. How could he make them _understand?_ “I don’t…. I don’t know what to say - I don’t - I really don’t know what to say to make it better. I - I _can’t_ make it better.”

 

The engineer walked toward the door. “You know, if all you’re going to do is just yell at me, then I don’t want to hear it. I have to sort out this mess and I’m _going_ to sort out this mess. With or without you. Rather without you at this stage.”

 

Carol was on him in a heartbeat, blocking his path. “No, no, no no no nonono, you listen to _me_ Tony Stark. You can walk away from those other assholes but _you will not_ walk away from me. I care too much about your dumb ass to let you just throw your fucking life away.

 

“Yes, I’m pissed. I’m mad as hell. If I could punch some sense into you, I would. But that’s not going to solve anything. I’m still angry and I _will_ be angry. I’ll be angry until this entire mess has been sorted, but we _need to sort this mess_ , and we need to figure out how to do it. We need to sit down and make a plan. We have to get your cooperation. This involves you.”

 

Tony wanted to be angry with his friend. He wanted to force his way out of the room, leave and never have to deal with any of the other Avengers again. But he knew he couldn’t just do that. These people… They _were_  his friends and they did care about him.

 

Carol had pretty much dropped everything she had been doing to come and help him, Steve looked broken but he was still willing to fight for Tony, _with_ him. Pepper, Rhodey, they all loved him. That was why Tony couldn’t just forget about them. He still cared about what happened to them.

 

“What plan Caro? None of you guys can interfere, you’ve not been permitted to. If you do, we die straight away.”

 

“Yeah but at least we can talk about it, come up with a strategy!”

 

“What strategy exactly?”

 

Carol threw her hands up in exasperation. “We won’t know until we talk about it, will we Stark?”

 

“Do you honestly think the other Avengers are going to rationally talk about this?” Tony pushed back. “All you guys wanna seem to do is yell at me.”

 

“Yes ‘cause we’re mad, but we’ll get over that and work together, like we’re _supposed_ to. Like we always have.”

 

Tony laughed bitterly at that. “Always? What do you know about ‘always’ Caro? You haven’t been here long enough. The Avengers’ past isn’t exactly the best.”

 

“Is that what this is about Tony? You’re still holding onto some grudge?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

Carol looked like she had been punched square in the chest. “Are you _sure?_ Did you even think twice about putting your life on the line? About genuinely thinking what it would do to the people that consider you their family? Or is this about something else entirely?”

 

When all Tony did was frown back at her, she continued. “Do you know that we’re your friends Tony? Do you actually understand that we _care_ about you? That we care about whether or not you live or die? That it’s going to hurt us if something happens to you, and especially if something happens to you and we were able to stop it? Do have any idea how Rhodey, how Pepper, how Peter, how I feel? Does it matter to you?”

 

 _Of course it matters,_ Tony thought to himself in chagrin. Again, she like the others was failing to realise, Tony’s decision wasn’t a means to hurt them.

 

“Tony do you know that we love you? Do you know what your loss would mean to us…?” Before she even finished the sentence, Carol’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh my God… No… please don’t tell me, no…” Tony was becoming increasingly alarmed by her pauses.

 

“Please don’t tell me that you put your life on the line because you didn’t think anybody would care? Because you genuinely thought you won’t be missed? Please tell me that’s not the case.”

 

Tony’s alarm was immediately replaced by mental fatigue at that. How many times was he going to go over this?

 

“Caro, this isn’t what you think it is. Honestly this isn’t a suicide mission,” the engineer explained, seeing as his friend looked so distressed by her own assumptions. “This isn’t something I actively did to try and get attention. I understand where you’re coming from and I understand what you’re scared of - why you think I did what I did. It’s not that. Honestly. You guys don’t understand because you don’t _want_ to.”

 

_“What?”_

 

“Just hear me out…” Tony sighed. “None of you guys seemed to grasp the idea, or _want to_ grasp the idea, that I did this because I wanted to genuinely help Loki. Nobody coerced me, he didn’t _make_ me do this. I didn’t do this as a cry for attention either. I don’t crave attention. I never have. I mean I used to crave approval, but I’ve matured past that.

 

“I did what I did in order to save Loki. I care about him.” The admission still seemed strange to Tony’s ears. Like it was something taboo, or would be seen as such, but just in that moment he honestly couldn’t care. It was the truth, and the sooner his friends got over it, the better it would be. “I even think of him as a friend.”

 

“ _Really?”_ Carol asked in disbelief. _“_ He’s a friend to you like one of us is?”

 

Tony shook his head. “It’s not the same. No one friendship is the same as the other. This is… different.”

 

“Astronomical?” the Captain questioned sarcastically, to which Tony just rolled his eyes.

 

“No, this has got nothing to do with this split soul thing. That’s just drama that came up later. If you’d known anything about what went down with me before the war, you’d know that I’d reached out to Loki, that we talked. And I understood and he understood and there was something there. I didn’t quite realise in what capacity, but it was there. And yes, I would have risked my life to save his as well, just as he did for me. He couldn’t watch me die, I couldn’t watch him being _sentenced_ to die.”

 

Carol’s expression seemed to get darker as Tony continued to talk. He sighed internally; reiterating what he had said before, with more conviction.

 

“Caro I’m telling you the truth when I say this, this literally has _nothing_ to do with any of you. My decision has _nothing_ to do with any of you. It’s not some backwards ass revenge, it’s not a cry for attention, it’s not to upset you - it’s not to do with any of that. I would have done the same for any one of you guys - if it were Rhodey up there, I would have done the same, Pepper, Peter, _you_ I would have done the same thing.This wasn’t about hurting any of you. Hurting you was never my intention. I care about my friends.

 

“I’m not some heartless monster.”

 

Carol had watched Tony through that explanation, taking in his words it seemed with careful consideration. Apparently the expression on Tony’s face had been enough, for Carol’s own to lose it’s anger. “I can’t pretend to understand your reasoning Tony. It’s going to take a while before I’m even comfortable with it. To be honest, I don’t think I ever will be. But. I trust you. And you’re still my friend, and I’m going to do everything within my power to help you, keep you safe. But I need you to be there with me. We do this together?”

 

She then extended her hand out and up in an offer, a display of truce. Tony hesitated for only a moment, before clasping her hand with his. “Together?”

 

“Together.”

 

 

—

 

 

“Would you like me to get you anything else while you wait, Mr. Stark?”

 

Tony smiled up at the staffer pleasantly, eyes flickering to her name badge for a fraction of a second before settling on her face again. “No thank-you Charise. I’m good for the moment.” The blond-haired woman smiled back at Tony, nodding once, before moving away.

 

Tony looked around the room again, and back down at his watch for the fifth time that morning. The time read 9.15 a.m. making it officially thirty minutes since he had taken his seat in a back stage room of CNN, at the Time Warner Centre, waiting for the other guest of the day to arrive.

 

This guest and himself, were meant to be on air at 9 a.m. to have a live debate, though the other guest had failed to arrive on time, making Tony more and more anxious as the minutes ticked on.

 

It was currently sixteen days, since Tony had had that heated exchange with Carol and the other Avengers which had left him feeling shaken, defeated and hopeful all within the span of twenty-four hours. True to Carol’s word, the other Avengers had come around to having a conversation with Tony without it ultimately turning into a shouting match. Clint tended to stay away most days if he could, choosing to take more missions with S.H.I.E.L.D. instead rather than the Avengers, taking Wanda with him if he could, which suited everyone better if Tony was entirely honest about that.

 

Sam and Natasha were more receptive now, though still wary of the situation and particularly of Loki. Natasha was less than forgiving of the alien god who had subjected her best friend to commit horrible things while under his mind control. But Tony had put forward the argument of: if they could forgive Wanda for what she had made them _all_ do in the past, including Bruce, Natasha’s partner, they could give Loki a chance. The argument hadn’t entirely swayed Natasha, so she spent more time down in Bruce’s lab, helping him and the other scientists find a way to close the doorway into the multiverse.

 

Surprisingly though, the Avenger that he had thought would have most definitely wanted to talk to Loki, had barely been around this time. Thor had chosen to remain in Asgard, when the others had returned, apparently attempting to negotiate a council with the representatives in order to coax a solution out of them, but Tony honestly believed it to be a fruitless endeavour. The representatives appeared to be a lot of things, helpful was not one of them.

 

Though none of the other Avengers’ reactions bothered Tony more than a certain super-soldier’s did. No. Not Steve. The blond seemed incapable of staying upset with Tony, choosing instead to help out as best as he could. Being one of the first people to put everything behind him, in order to help Tony and subsequently Loki, find a solution.

 

No. The super-soldier in question was a one Bucky Barnes.

 

Who Tony honestly couldn’t remember when he had seen him last. Since having returned to earth after Loki’s trial, Tony could have sworn Bucky had managed to avoid him entirely, though that wasn’t saying much considering _Tony_ had been the one avoiding the rest of the Avengers in the first place.

 

Nonetheless, Bucky hadn’t been in any meetings the other Avengers had had with Tony, nor had he offered to help Tony and Loki in any way. Tony could still remember the devastation he had seen on Bucky’s face when Tony had accepted Gaia’s offer. Bucky had looked betrayed. Tony couldn’t imagine that would be something the other man could just get over.

 

Whatever Bucky Barnes was doing, Tony hoped the man was doing well, especially considering he hadn’t been in for maintenance on his arm.

 

A few days after the conversation with Carol, Steve had sought Tony out, and much to Tony’s amazement, had managed to bring along with him, Pepper and Rhodey, accompanied by Caro herself. Apparently the two Captains had had a ‘sit down’ and brainstormed potential ideas on how to go about the current predicament.

 

Over the course of the following week, the four of them, along with occasional inputs from Vision, Sam and Natasha, had gone over multiple scenarios in which Tony could approach Kimberly Clarke. The woman was difficult to reach on the best of days. She was constantly on the move, never staying long in any given state, holding multiple rallies organised by the A.S.A. all across the country.

 

She was a woman on a warpath and as the days went by her message only seemed to be strengthening, her following growing. As terrifying as some of her arguments seemed, she was protected by the first amendment, so long as she didn’t call to a direct act of violence. Though the cheers of ‘Lock them up’ and other thinly veiled threats against superheroes at her speeches didn’t exactly put Tony at ease.

 

Tony had attempted to contact Kimberly via email, only to have it bounce back or go ignored. Pep had tried to arrange a meeting through S.I. but that invitation had been rejected almost immediately by Kimberly’s assistant, the woman citing that her boss had no intention of interacting with criminals, convicted or not. So in the eyes of Kimberly Clarke, Tony was already a criminal. Tony supposed he couldn’t entirely fault her for that - he did have a lot to answer for, irrespective of what he had done during the battle of New York and Infinity War.

 

But the entire situation was made impossible with Kimberly’s blatant refusal to even correspond with Tony. How was Tony to convince her of anything if he couldn’t even interact with her?

 

In his hopeless desperation, Tony had made his way down to the area where Loki was kept, unable it seemed to stay away from the god for too long. Loki, who had surprisingly requested a piano while being held in his cell, not being forceful or demanding in said request, had been sitting at this piano, playing a familiar tune. Tony had been unable to refuse the request, and honestly had not seen any real issue with it, so with Strange’s help, Tony had moved his own piano into Loki’s cell.

 

The melody of Yiruma’s River Flows in You, had flooded the area as Loki had continued to play; a warmth settling in Tony’s gut as he had listened in. The sheet of musical notes had laid on the rack, Loki having had his eyes closed; long fingers dancing along the keys. Tony had wondered how long it had taken the man to learn the song, for him to be able to play it so elegantly. Despite the soothing music, it hadn’t taken long before a recognisable ache had squeezed Tony’s heart; the memories of Edwin Jarvis getting stronger in the engineer’s mind as the seconds had ticked on.

 

In that exact moment, Loki had stopped playing, nimble fingers lifting from the white keys, eyelashes fluttering open to blink and focus on a spot on the wall in front of him.

 

A few seconds had passed before, _“She is unyielding,”_ had left pale lips.

 

Tony hadn’t known what to say to that, the feeling of disappointment having become overwhelming, so he had responded with, _“Why’d you stop playing?”_ instead.

 

Loki, having shifted his head to look back at Tony, had moved away from his seat, approaching the pane of glass where Tony had watched from the opposite side. _“The melody is upsetting to you.”_

 

Tony had blinked back up at Loki in wonder at that. _“How would you know…?”_

 

Loki had then raised his hand slowly before placing it against his heart, looking directly at Tony. _“I can_ feel _it.”_ He had then taken his hand and placed it against the glass pane in the place where Tony’s heart would have been. _“It resonates from here, the sadness.”_

 

 _“It’s more nostalgia than anything else,”_ Tony had responded a few moments later, after having ensured his voiced wouldn’t have cracked once he had spoken again. _“It reminds me of someone I was close to.”_

 

Loki had pulled his hand away eventually, though his eyes had still firmly remained on Tony’s. _“Your butler… Someone who was more like family to you.”_

 

Noticing Tony’s surprise, Loki had suppressed a smile. _“His name is on the musical sheets,”_ he had said before walking away. Of course, Tony had thought to himself. He had forgotten about that. _“I also remember him from the conversations you and I have had in the past,”_ Loki had admitted.

 

Tony had felt further surprise at that, having not realised Loki would have remembered details from a prior conversation; likely from the one, among the many, they had had on the rooftop of Stark Tower before the Infinity War.

 

_“You still haven’t given me a response about the woman.”_

 

 _“No, she doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve tried contacting her multiple times but she’s shut me down. I even had half a mind to fly down to the place where she’s giving one of her speeches, but the areas she goes to is usually cordoned off, and is strictly a ‘no supes zone.’ I could barge my way in, but I figured it wouldn’t really help our cause,”_ Tony had explained in a dry tone.

 

_“I could always speak to her myself. As is intended. It is after all my burden to bear.”_

 

Tony had had to laugh at that. _“She won’t even answer a phone call by me. What in God’s name makes you think she’s going to be even remotely accommodating to you? She wants to bring justice to you. Even though she hasn’t said it in so many words, but I’m pretty sure it means to murder you the second she sees you.”_

 

_“I strongly doubt she’d be able to do that.”_

 

 _“I doubt your doubt,”_ Tony had countered. _“The N.R.A. seems to support her as well, and has her backing to create new weapons that may provide the public ‘protection’ against dangerous threats such as us. And all of this is protected by the Constitution. She’s publicly allowed to push for this.”_

 

Loki had titled his head to the side through Tony’s explanation. _“I do not understand the human terminology you use.”_

 

 _“It means,”_ Tony had drawn out, _“She might actually have the power to harm you, or any of the rest of us, or is in the works of having something made that could.”_

 

 _“You are concerned for me,”_ Loki had said, considering Tony. _“I would rather I be harmed than you. I am a god after all, and the sentence still stands whether I am dead or alive. What is needed is a forgiveness.”_

 

Tony had only rolled his eyes at that. _“Which is much harder to get if you’re_ dead. _Stop being a drama queen. Nobody has to die.”_

 

Loki had spent a few moments just watching Tony, as if in contemplation, before replying with, _“It seems like the best approach then, might be to bring her to you instead.”_

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

 _“You will find in life that people are able to spread their message, no matter what it may be, far and wide, when they have half a fact and no challengers,”_ Loki had elaborated. _“When there is no contention to their beliefs, what has anyone really got to fear? You must challenge her in a platform where she is unable to escape and hide behind half-truths. What she accuses me of, isn’t a lie. I am deserving of her scrutiny, of her hate. But what has unfortunately occurred here, is that she has tarred the rest of you with the same brush. Gaia was right. Her people are revolting against each other and I am to blame.”_

 

 _“Oh please,”_ Tony had said, shaking his head in the process. _“You didn’t invent war. People have been fighting each other over one thing or another since the beginning of time, whether it’s religion, greed or prejudice, it’s existed before you Loki.”_

 

 _“Nonetheless,”_ Loki had persisted, green eyes focused on Tony, _“That is a digression. She lies the entire blame on all of you, when many of you have done nothing but defend this earth against perpetrators of war such as myself. She has to be culpable to answering for the slander against all people with gifts._

 

_“You cannot allow this movement to grow, for no war is crueler than the war amongst your own people. Challenge her on a public platform. Even if you are unable to inspire change in her, perhaps you may be able to reach the people that have appeared to follow her so blindly, so that future generations are spared devastating grief.”_

 

Fast forward a few days later and Tony was doing exactly that. After the twenty-fifth failed attempt at directly contacting her, Tony realised after watching multiple interviews of Kimberly online, that she liked to correspond with various media outlets, often appearing on C.N.N. to push her agenda. She was a controversial figure, so broadcasting studios jumped at any opportunity to have her on to get ratings. When capitalism worked, it worked. 

 

So Tony being an opportunist himself, had arranged an interview with a host at C.N.N. in order to provide a counterargument against Mrs. Clarke’s claims. Shocking most of the panel present, Tony had directly addressed the camera, publicly challenging Kimberly to a debate. The heads at C.N.N. had jumped at the chance, and had offered to host the debate at their Time Warner branch, as Tony had suspected they would have.

 

Not long after, his interview had gone viral, amassing numerous views and shares on social media sites. Many people were excited with Iron Man himself stepping into the picture, voicing their support for the long time hero, while those part of the A.S.A. wanted his head on a chopping block. Nonetheless, Tony had at least felt hopeful that Kimberly wouldn’t just be able to hide from this, without looking like a coward or a woman without conviction.

 

As anticipated, Time Warner had contacted Tony but thirty-six hours later, saying that the A.S.A. had accepted his challenge, and had agreed to a date beginning the following week to hold a debate, with Kimberly as their representative.

 

That is what lead to Tony sitting here, Monday of the next week, waiting in anxiety as the seconds ticked on, for the woman that quite literally had the power to end his life. When it seemed increasingly like Kimberly would be a no show, the door to the room backstage opened, and in walked in the person of the hour. Surrounded by burley men, who were likely part of her security detail and other unfamiliar faces part of her entourage it seemed.

 

Despite the eye-rolling show of needing so much security, Tony had to hand it to the woman, she did know how to make an entrance.

 

“Kimberly, welcome back,” the debate moderator, Chuck Jones, greeted Tony’s debate opponent, with faux exaggerated enthusiasm, before directing Kimberly toward Tony. “I am sure you are familiar with Mr. Stark over here?”

 

Kimberly allowed herself to be directed toward Tony, coming to stand a short distance away from him. Up close, the woman didn’t appear intimidating in the slightest. Every time she was giving one of her speeches in front of thousands, she seemed a domineering figure who took up an enormous space in the room; her words resonating strongly with countless of people.

 

And yet before Tony, she was just another person, appearing just as haunted as he felt most days. Her full height didn’t make it up to Tony’s chin. Though immaculately dressed, make-up didn’t do much to hide the exhaustion in her face, or the lines made hard from years of stress. She was considerably younger than Tony, being only thirty-one, but looked aged beyond her years. Life certainly hadn’t been kind to her.

 

Where Tony had thought he would have felt some form of hostility toward her for her slandering comments, he only seemed to feel empathy, as he looked back into cold dark eyes.

 

“Mr. _Stark_.” Her greeting was clipped, holding barely restrained distaste.

 

“Kimberly,” Tony greeted in turn, causing the woman’s mouth to further turn downward.

 

“I would rather you refer to me as _Mrs. Clarke_ , so as to serve as a reminder to what your kind took away from me.”

 

And there went any chance of having this be polite. Oh well. “If it’s reminders you were after, _ma’am_ , I should mention that I was the one who flew the nuke, _human authorities_ ordered to be used on the people of New York, into space, saving said people of New York, which included you and your son.”

 

The woman ground her teeth in response, and before she could interject with further criticisms, Jones interrupted, directing them both toward the stage where the debate was to be held. “Maybe we could hold off on anything else and save it for the debates, hm? What’s say we make our way over?”

 

Tony had smiled and nodded, following behind the two as they approached the stage.

 

Though what happened next, would change the course of everything Tony had envisioned with monumental consequences.

 

Without any warning, the entire structure underneath Tony gave way in a thunderous explosion, knocking him back several meters and into a support beam, almost folding him in half.

 

Within seconds, the sight around him was in chaos, with the alarm in the building beginning to screech painfully loudly, drowning out the screams of the panicked. Dust and debris and shattered glass, in an array of shining silver, fell all around Tony, as the structure of Time Warner crumbled below him.

 

Being knocked against something with such momentum had completely disoriented Tony, the man stumbling over himself as he attempted to get to his feet. A fierce ringing in his ears took over his senses; Tony failing to see through the cloud of suffocating matter.

 

Before he could even make his way around to help anyone else in the devastation unfolding around him, the ground beneath him opened up and he could do nothing in time to stop himself from falling, and being buried underneath rubble, parts of his suit tearing in the process.

 

Going in and out of consciousness, Tony could hear voices all around him, crying, pleading for help, among the thunderous sound of the collapsing foundation. Vaguely among the voices, he could hear his name, sounding somewhere in the distance. He tried to call out, but couldn’t make his mouth move. He was in pain, and his mind had started to feel heavy. All he wanted to do was sleep just then.

 

_“Tony!”_

 

There it was again. That same voice.

 

As soon as Tony felt his mind slipping away, the layers of concrete around him begin to shift, accompanied by intermittent coughing and a voice saying, _“Yes, I’ve found him.”_

 

Tony felt the weight on his back lighten, and he knew he had to do something to stop himself from becoming prey to exhaustion. _“Come on Tony, come on, you’re going to make it,”_

 

The voice again.

 

As the weights shifted around him, Tony felt his body being moved, being pulled forward, “I got you. You’re going to be okay, I got you.”

 

The voice sounded barely constrained, attempting it seemed to not give into fear. It was low and familiar and comforting. Tony recognised that voice.

 

Forcing his eyes open, Tony blearily focused on his surroundings, but didn’t have long to take anything in, as he was being pulled up and heaved over a shoulder.

 

“Buck-” Tony sputtered before a coughing fit took over him, his windpipe feeling like it had been through a blender. “Buck…y?”

 

“Yeah, I got you. We’re gonna get out of here okay? Just stay put.”

 

Before Tony could say anything else, he felt himself swaying as Bucky picked up speed, moving at a blinding pace through the darkness of the falling structure, and clouds of dust and smoke. Not long after, Tony found himself being surrounded by light, realising almost immediately that Bucky had made his way outside, and was now carrying them a safe distance away.

 

All around him, Tony could hear the sounds of sirens blaring, the screams of victims, and the cacophony of voices of first responders and E.M.T.s.

 

Mass hysteria, the public had had to face not all that long ago.

 

Accompanied by the pain in his body, Tony could feel dread and anxiety begin to claw at his chest. “Wha…what -”

 

When Tony began to cough again, Bucky soothed his back. “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry just right now. Here, I’m going to put you down next to this wall okay? Here we go, slowly,” Tony was being moved again, and the engineer felt as though he was about to throw up. He was gently placed on the ground, his back being leaned up against a cold surface.

 

Tony felt his hair being brushed back from his forehead by a cool metal hand. He attempted to open his eyes further but the blinding white light of the morning sky, seemed to aggravate everything all at once. Tony could barely make out Bucky’s face - his hair looked matted while dirt clung to his eyelashes and was smeared along his cheeks. Tony couldn’t understand the sudden urge to wipe the mark away with his thumb.

 

Bucky’s voice was soothing again, as he looked Tony over for the obvious injuries. “You’ll be okay Tony, the guys are coming to get -”

 

Bucky’s abrupt pause gave Tony concern; Tony’s anxiety only increasing when Bucky’s hand grasped onto Tony’s left wrist. “No….”

 

Tony shifted his head to the side to acknowledge where the man was looking, and his heart stopped beating in his chest.

 

In the commotion of everything, the left sleeve of his suit’s jacket had completely torn off, exposing his bare wrist.

 

The same wrist where Tony Stark bore his soul mark.

 

A soul mark that was no longer hidden by a skin graft, seeing as the stealth technology that had allowed for it, had been destroyed when Tony had fallen.

 

In that moment, Tony felt as though his entire world had turned upside down. Just how far the consequences would go, he would have no idea.

 

Time had slowed down, and Tony felt every ounce of fear and horror seep through to the surface. The ringing in his ears only got louder.

 

All of this was made infinitely worse, when he watched Bucky slowly turn his head to acknowledge him; the expression on his face hitting Tony like a punch to his sternum. Being buried underneath rubble didn’t even compare to this. Bucky’s grey eyes were wet and widened in shock, holding accusation Tony couldn’t even begin to process.

 

 _“You’re a liar,”_ they seemed to scream, and Tony had to do everything in his power to not just break down right then and there.

 

He could only keep his focus for so long though, given the fact that the battering he had taken in the collapsing Time Warner building had finally caught up to him. Despite having acquired certain abilities of a god, Tony could only keep up a fight for so long, before exhaustion got the better of him.

 

As his eyes closed for the final time that day, giving way to unconsciousness, the last thing that would be imprinted into his mind before that, would be the horror he had witnessed in his cherished pair of grey eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly don't know what I'm doing back here.   
> Also, I seem incapable of writing /less/.


	5. Hello Misery. Meet, company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated this story within a span of a week. If you haven't read the previous chapter, I strongly suggest you do.

 

“Feeling better?”

 

The voice was the first thing that registered in Tony’s mind, as he steadily blinked his eyes open, eventually widening them enough to focus on the room.

 

There was a still prominent pounding in his head present, and while his body felt as though it had been run over by a truck, he could feel nor see any obvert injuries on his person.

 

The suit he had worn to Time Warner had been removed and he was currently wearing loose fitted clothing. He had been cleaned of all signs of dirt, dust, earth and blood. Well that was something, Tony supposed.

 

“How’s your head? You fell quite far.”

 

Tony’s gaze shifted to the left where Steve was sat in a bedside chair. It appeared to Tony that he had been moved to the Avengers Base infirmary, though no medical equipments were on display to show anything had been used on him.

 

It wasn’t difficult to assume that Tony’s body had probably mended itself. A new ability he would honestly never get used to.

 

Looking back at the expression on Steve’s face, Tony knew whatever would happen next would be far from pleasant. “How, how long has it been -”

 

“Seven hours,” Steve interjected, his tone to the point.

 

“Seven hours? I’ve been out for _seven hours_?” Despite his abilities, Tony had taken that long to recover? It seemed like his body really had taken a beating.

 

“Like I said,” Steve replied; frown on his face not easing once, “You had quite a fall and you are still human after all. Bruce thought it would be better to put you under anaesthesia. Let you sleep for a while.”

 

Ah. So that would explain why Tony still felt so groggy, like a mental fog was making it difficult for him to think. Though the point about him being human… Tony wasn’t so sure that was an accurate assessment anymore. At least not entirely.

 

“The others?” Tony asked of Steve, “In the building, the woman did they make it out…? What - What happened?”

 

“They don’t know who’s responsible but there was a bomb placed on the ground floor. It detonated.”

 

“How did a bomb get past security?”

 

Steve shrugged. “Don’t know… but it did. Three people are dead already. The casualties may grow but luckily the blast radius wasn’t large enough to cause further damage. It was mostly restricted to the bottom few floors. People further up were evacuated.”

 

“And the woman? Kimberly, did she make it out?”

 

Steve was flicking through his fingernails as if attempting to remain calm, while reporting back to Tony. “Reports are saying she’s alright… but this has created a massive problem. It’s blowing up in the media, everywhere. Conspiracy theories are already floating around, that we had something to do with it.”

 

Tony had honestly suspected this outcome, even while he had been in and out of consciousness during the explosion, but the reality of it still hit him hard nonetheless. “What? _What_? We had something to do with that? I got _injured_.”

 

“Yeah, but you survived.” Steve looked back at Tony for the briefest of seconds; eyes flickering to Tony’s torso. “The fact that you were rescued - well, that apparently only makes things more suspicious.”

 

Tony shook his head, feeling the pounding reverberating within, much more strongly. “This is ridiculous.”

 

Steve licked along the front of his teeth, looking away from Tony, ignoring what the man had said. “Still in pain huh? God-like abilities not enough?”

 

Tony could already feel where the conversation was about to head, and he honestly didn’t have the energy for it now. “I need to go, need to -”

 

“No.” Steve was immediately on his feet, coming to stand at the opposite end of Tony’s bed; face barely restraining the cloud of fury that lingered just below the surface. “No. You need to - what you _need_ to do is explain some things Tony Stark, that’s what you really need to do. Right now.”

 

Tony could feel his heart picking up pace in his chest. “I don’t have time for this.”

 

Steve’s lip curled at the corners. “You sure as hell have to make time, because nothing else, _nothing else_ right now matters as much you as owning up to your lies.”

 

“I…”

 

“You have a soul mark,” Steve interjected bluntly. “Not just any soul mark, but the same one Bucky and I share - and you lied about it. You lied about it Tony.”

 

The blond-haired man shook his head in repulsion as blue eyes looked back at Tony in caustic accusation. “I’ve been trying to understand why you did, over the last few hours, but I’m drawing a blank every single time.”

 

Steve’s eyes remained on Tony, searching each one of his. “I found Bucky, you know? I was the first one there on the scene, where you’d collapsed. He was just limp, sitting next to you. Didn’t say anything, didn’t move a muscle, nothing; just… numb. He was holding onto your wrist and we all saw. _We all saw_ the lie you’ve kept this entire time, Tony.”

 

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed; hurt and betrayal and disappointment all morphed into one expression on the man’s face. “ _Why?_ Why…? Do you hate us, is - is that it? Because I’m genuinely not understanding.”

 

“This isn’t,” Tony responded, words failing him initially. “This isn’t about you Steve. It’s… I know it sounds ironic or ridiculous, but it’s - it’s not about you.”

 

Steve laughed bitterly at that. “Oh really? _Really,_ Tony Stark? You share a soul mark with me, and my partner and you’re telling me, this has got nothing to do with us? You serious?"

 

“Do you have any idea what any of this means?” Steve asked with more force behind his words. “This entire time you’ve lied to us about so many things. You’ve lied to us about Loki - you kept that a secret, and now this. The game changer, you realise that Tony? This - this thing that you’ve hidden from us, it’s consequential. Massively so. To you and your ego, it might not matter -”

 

“My ego?” Tony interrupted, biting his inner lip to keep himself from yelling out. “Honestly Steve?”

 

“Yes,” Steve replied fervently, “because it would take someone so egotistical, so self-centred to not care about how something like this would affect us.”

 

Whatever calm Tony was holding onto, slipped in that moment. “ _What_ has this got to do with you, really? I mean really? This is my choice, _this is my choice_. I hid this for my own personal reasons. If I _chose_ not to tell you, that’s my decision, okay? It means, _it should_ mean nothing to you.”

 

Steve was outraged. “Says the guy who came and told me that the bond between Bucky and I _was_ something important, that we were ‘meant to be’. And now the soul mark has nothing to do with me?”

 

“Oh my God, for the last time,” Tony all but yelled, “ _for the last time,_ my opinion on your relationship with Bucky and what it _could have_ become had _nothing_ Steve, _nothing_ to do with the soul mark, okay? The bond you two share, transcends that. The fact that you were ‘meant to be’ has nothing to do with what the universe decides. Irrespective of the soul mark, your relationship could have been something more - that still stands.”

 

“Yeah? Well try telling Bucky that.”

 

Tony was taken aback at that. “Bucky? Why would this affect Bucky?”

 

Which was clearly the wrong response to have, for it looked like whatever restraint Steve had had, was lost instantly. “Are you kidding me right now? He shares the same soul mark with us, that you convinced him meant something, okay? Your persuasion about the significance of the bond we shared meant something to him, coming from somebody who he had _thought_ didn’t have a soul mark!”

 

Any pain Tony had been feeling, was overwhelmed by the feeling of confusion and apprehension at Steve’s words. Bucky had listened to Tony because he had thought Tony didn’t have a soul mark? _What?_ That made no sense whatsoever.

 

“It meant something to him,” Steve continued in animated indignation, “when you told him that the bond he and I shared was profound. It mattered to him and he took it to heart. He couldn’t understand why somebody like you wouldn’t have a soul bond yourself. He couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t want one. Why you wouldn’t want to be bonded to somebody, but you seemed convinced that it didn’t matter for you - but that for him and I it meant something.”

 

Tony shook his head in adamant refusal, confusion continuing to heighten. “That’s not what I said to him.”

 

“Well he took it to mean that way Tony Stark!” Steve all but shouted at him. “He took it to mean something. He started that relationship with me because of it…”

 

That admission by Steve left Tony reeling. “What? _What?_ He didn’t…” Tony pulled at his hair in frustration. “I didn’t convince - he didn’t do it because of _me_ Steve! He loves you! I just had a talk with him, that’s all I did, okay?”

 

Tony’s breaths were coming hard and fast, matching in pace with Steve’s own. “The decision he made - he made it himself. I didn’t make him do anything. Our conversation was just a sit down to maybe point him in the direction that could lead somewhere. But the choice was ultimately his! Not _mine._ It is absolutely unfair to suggest that he only got into a relationship with you because of me. That’s a cruel lie.”

 

“That’s what he told me.” Despite all the yelling Steve had been doing, his voice sounded so small just then, as if the confession left him broken, beaten beyond repair.

 

Tony however, still felt like he was being cornered, having a burden pushed on him that he had certainly not instigated. “What? Don’t - don’t you dare make this about me. Whatever I said, it didn’t influence any decisions that weren’t already going to be made. I’m sorry I hid this from you, but I did it initially to protect myself.”

 

Tony lifted himself up in that moment, then proceeded toward the corner of the bed, feet coming to land ungracefully on the floor, before his eyes were back on Steve.

 

“When this - this rip in the universe bullshit happened and then suddenly we all have these bizarre marks on our wrists - that God only knew what had meant - I was afraid that the knowledge of my soul mark could be used against me somehow. And people _have_ used things against me in the past - information that they’ve gotten about me, information that they’ve tried to manipulate to their advantage. You have no idea Steve because you haven’t been around long enough in my life, F.Y.I. in case you forgot.

 

“It just so turned out, it was some magical mumbo-jumbo with consequences, because people were taking this literally - they were taking it to mean something. And who knew, if somebody had found out about my soul mark at the time at least, they could have tried to use it against me, alright? So I panicked and I hid it.

 

“And lo and behold, who else ends up sharing the same mark? It’s the two of you. At the time we weren’t exactly friends. We were still getting over a fucking war where we _physically_ fought each other Steve. The same war where I’d realised that you’d lied to me.”

 

“Is that -”

 

“No! Let me finish, okay?” Tony had to say his piece, Steve could just wait. “I wasn’t just suddenly going to open up to you. That is my truth. And I did it for my own sanity.”

 

Steve took only a fraction of a second taking that in, before responding with, “So what? You just decided to continue to lie? After we became friends Tony, after we reconciled? That didn’t matter to you, it meant nothing to you?”

 

“Of course it did!” Tony threw back at the man. “I wouldn’t be here, be a part of the Avengers if it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t have helped you _if it didn’t matter._ I’ll admit, the soul mark thing made me reconsider how I approached you. I was just willing to call it quits for good and have nothing to do with either of you ever again.

 

“But this thing I guess - it - it kind of influenced what I did, but it wasn’t _astronomical,_ it wasn’t significant. I would have reached there myself anyway. Even though initially I had thought I would never reconcile with you, I would have gotten there someway, especially since the Infinity War was just around the corner. But by that stage I had hidden it for so long that I just…”

 

“What? The truth became hard to tell?” Steve sneered.

 

“No! That’s - that’s not fair.” Tony didn’t know just how he could make Steve _understand._ “This _thing_ … it doesn’t mean anything to me. It really doesn’t, even if other people seem to give significance to it. I don’t, because I don’t believe some magical higher power, the universe, gets to decide how you live your life. I don’t think it should matter. The decisions you make should influence how your life turns out, not what somebody else does.”

 

And that was always going to be Tony’s truth. Nobody else got to decide what he did with his life, nobody else could get to influence it so significantly. Especially not after his father, not after Obadiah. “And so by that stage, I didn’t want to give this any significance. I didn’t want it to mean anything between us. I didn’t want it to mean anything in the way of getting in between whatever you two had.”

 

When it looked like Steve was about to interject, Tony pushed forward, despite Steve’s seemingly increasing impatience. “Steve the two of you aren’t just friends. You _are_ soulmates. But not in the capacity of the soul gem, but rather in the sense that there really is no Bucky without Steve, there’s no Steve without Bucky. And I honestly didn’t want to give myself more significance by being part of that relationship.”

 

“So you thought you wouldn’t matter to us?”

 

“ _No._ This isn’t - _God_ why does everybody…” Tony couldn’t believe people were still jumping to that conclusion. “I’m - I’m not belittling myself or giving myself less importance because I’m some sort of a fucking martyr. Nor am I throwing a pity party. It has literally nothing to do with _any_ of that. I just didn’t want to give myself importance because it didn’t matter! Who the fuck cared if I was soul-bonded to you? You would still live your lives. Your lives would still be influenced by the decisions _you_ made. But unfortunately nobody else seems to see that but me. Everybody else seems to be obsessed with the idea of soul-bonds and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous.

 

“I didn’t want this to potentially mean something to you, alright? I didn’t want this entire fucking conversation to even happen. _This_ is my truth.”

 

Steve seemed to be having none of what Tony was offering. “But you still decided for us anyway?”

 

“Does it matter Steve? Does it really matter?” At the end of it, did it really matter? Tony had kept this truth, so what? It didn’t change anything right?

 

Though it was immediately apparent, that Steve’s own opinion was far from coinciding with Tony’s.

 

“You have no idea, do you?” The man almost whispered the question to Tony, as if in disbelief. “You don’t even care. Yes, it matters Tony! It _matters_. Because you lied to us again.”

 

Steve had begun pacing in the room, appearing almost wild, alarming Tony a bit. “Honestly I - I don’t even care about your explanations anymore, because when you consistently _lie_ to people about everything concerning you, there starts to become an obvious pattern, an obvious trend. Where you’re deliberately being misleading, or you’re deliberately lying to us, to keep something from us. And then it begs the question, why do you get to decide? Why do you get to decide when it involves our lives?”

 

The Captain threw an accusatory finger in Tony’s direction; his voice bordering on hysterical. “You’ve got some warped idea in your head, whatever, but you still needed to be honest, because while you think it doesn’t matter, this bond, this thing, _has been slowly driving me insane._ And for the past however many days I couldn’t explain why. It felt like I was loosing my fucking mind and _I had no idea why._ And it was all about _you_. These last few weeks, my mind, twenty-four-seven, no matter what I tried to think about, it always came back to you. To _you,_ Tony.”

 

Tony’s eyes had widened in complete shock throughout Steve’s unrestrained rant; the confession like an electric energy surging through Tony’s veins. 

 

Steve threw up his wrist, bearing his soul mark. “You think this doesn’t matter?” He asked of Tony, thumbing the mark hard enough that it looked like it could have been painful to an ordinary person. 

 

“It fucking _hurts,_ ” Steve admitted, voice breaking; blue eyes holding back unshed tears. “Like a visceral pain I can’t get rid of, an unknown enemy I don’t know when is going to strike next, but when it does, it _hurts and it hurts for days._ And I can’t cope sometimes. I can’t fucking cope and I didn’t know why!”

 

Steve’s emotions were raw, his breaths coming fast with every confession spilling from his lips, appearing like a man about to lose his mind just in that moment. “Every waking hour since you fell from the hole in the sky, from the point where you kept ignoring us, where you continued to lie to us through and through, all I kept thinking about was what was going on with you. Why I could sense some imminent danger coming for you, and why I felt like I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Having dreams about you being suffocated by walls. _Watching you helplessly_ from the sidelines be suffocated by walls and not having a damn clue - it was driving me mad, Tony! Why did I care so much?

 

“Yeah, you’re my friend, of course I would care - that part made sense, but why was I so obsessed ? Why was I seeing shadows everywhere? You think it doesn’t matter, Tony?”

 

Steve thumbed the mark even harder, causing his skin to go deathly pale, the reciprocating pain flaring up in Tony’s own wrist. “Can you _feel the pain_ Tony? Did you feel your wrist burning in agony every time you ignored your soul mark?” Steve’s voice shook from the torture his own words were inflicting, causing Tony even more grief. “I thought it had something to do with Bucky, but I only now realise it wasn’t about him. It was never about him.”

 

Steve got closer and closer toward Tony in his tirade. “Did you feel that pain? Did you ever fucking _feel that pain?_ Can you look me in the eye and tell me it doesn’t matter, huh? Did you feel it, or not? You look me in the eye and tell me you felt nothing. Tell me. _I dare you,”_ the man demanded of Tony.

 

Of course Tony couldn’t say no, because that would be a blatant lie. He had felt his wrist flare up in pain, sometimes being excruciating when he was in close proximity to either Bucky or Steve, particularly when either of them had experienced a surge of intense emotion, and _especially_ when Tony had denied the bond.

 

When Tony looked away from the man, Steve scoffed. “Can’t even do it… Yeah that’s what I thought. _That’s what I thought,_ Tony. You may get to think this doesn’t matter but it was never your decision to make. You don’t want to be involved with this? Well too fucking bad! Whether you want it or not, the universe _did_ decide. It did decide that we were somehow bonded and it decided to give it importance, even if you want nothing to do with us.”

 

“It wasn’t like that.”

 

“It’s not what you just said. Not what you just admitted,” Steve asserted. “I don’t even know what to think anymore. I don’t even know if the decisions I made were truly my own - the choices I made.”

 

Tony had to mentally roll his eyes at that. Now this was bordering on being dramatic. “That’s - you’re being… Of course they were _your_ choices Steve. Nobody _made_ them for you.”

 

Steve was unyielding. “And yet I was still influenced. Going out of my mind thinking something was going to happen to you.”

 

“You don’t want to care about me, you don’t have to.”

 

“Oh _fuck off_ with that patronising, ‘pity me’ bullshit,” Steve retorted heatedly, causing Tony to flinch. “Of course I would always care about you. Of course I would’ve been the first person to stand for you, when you would eventually make the reckless decision to put your life on the line. I would have still stood by you. Had you been honest with me, I wouldn’t have felt like I was going to go mad. Or at least I would have understood why I was feeling the way I was. I would have been better prepared for it.

 

“When you risked your life Tony, up there, you knowingly not only risked yours, but mine and Bucky’s as well. You knew about it and you didn’t care.”

 

“Oh give me a break Steve!” Tony snarled at Steve, getting to his feet unsteadily and wobbling on the spot momentarily. The brief interruption didn’t stop Tony’s momentum however. Steve’s bullshit had done more than enough to piss him off. Yes the man had a right to be upset, but that didn’t give him an excuse to blatantly make shit up. “If something happens to me, nothing is going to happen to either of you. You know this.”

 

Steve however didn’t seem to care for Tony’s opinion. “Really? Really? You wanna try again Stark?”

 

“It’s not going to kill you,” Tony asserted.

 

“Right…” Steve spat in contempt. “So me feeling like I’ve been loosing my mind this entire time means _nothing_. Bucky sleeping in another bed means nothing!” - wait what? - “Him now realising his choices might not have been entirely his own means nothing! Yeah… Tony Stark, nothing means anything, right? Only you get to decide when something is significant. Only you get to make decisions for everybody.”

 

Forget about concrete collapsing on Tony, these confessions about Bucky were completely suffocating him, leaving his head spinning.

 

Steve looked like he had finally had enough. “If this entire thing has taught me anything, it’s that ultimately, in the end, we didn’t matter to you. This pretend friendship you had with us, was just that - _pretend._ And I was right before - the only person you really fight for is _yourself_.”

 

The man spared Tony barely another glance, before pushing past the exit and slamming the door behind him.

 

 

—

 

 

Tony had spent a good ten minutes just staring into the distance after the encounter with Steve, feeling physically exhausted and mentally drained. He wanted to be angry at Steve’s outburst, wanted to be angry with the man himself, but knew he really couldn’t be.

 

Steve deserved better than being lied to, and Tony _had_ lied to him, even after promising to be transparent with him, with all the other Avengers, after their reconciliation. Tony had not kept up his side of the promise. Steve was hurting and he needed explanations. Explanations which failed to suffice from Tony. Tony couldn’t fault the man for his anger, especially given the fact that his deception seemed to have significantly impacted the Bucky and Steve relationship.

 

As if Tony needed another suffocating emotion to feel, guilt was piled on top of it.

 

Life was honestly not even remotely looking to give him a break. Maybe he should have died after facing Thanos, at least things might have been peaceful then.

 

Okay… bad road to go down. Before his mind could have lingered on further melancholic thoughts, Tony had made his way out of the infirmary and headed toward the common room, only to find a solitary Natasha seated on the couch, watching the news with apparent displeasure. She was dressed in casual attire, eyes fixated on the television and on one of the men being interviewed, through correspondence, by a host of MSNBC.

 

To the left of the screen, the footage from the explosion at Time Warner building was playing on repeat; the sight being overwhelmed by falling debris and a cloud of expanding smoke. The screams Tony had heard at the time were muted as the host and guests continued to have a back and forth.

 

The frown Tony had been wearing as soon as he had seen the footage, continued to grow, when he realised the guests were representatives from both the A.S.A. and the N.R.A. A Jason Cernovich and Michael LaPierre respectively. It looked like Kimberly Clarke was out of play, only increasing Tony’s apprehension. This apprehension heightening further when he acknowledged the argument these men were making on live television.

 

 _“You know what I’d like to know Joy?”_ Michael LaPierre asked of the host; a faux look of concern plastered on his slimy face. He was a bald man with a thin face, in his mid-forties, dressed in a lavish grey suit, standing outside the N.R.A.’s headquarters in Fairfax. The usual gut response of wanting to punch the man in the face was strong in Tony; the engineer not having pleasant memories of dealing with LaPierre in the past.

 

 _“Is out of all of this,”_ the man continued, _“how was Tony Stark able to survive this? And why were there Avengers on sight reportedly before the explosion? He was escorted out of there almost immediately and as far as we were aware, the only Avenger that was supposed to be at Time Warner was Mr. Stark. The arrangement there was that he was going to be the one to have a debate with Kim and as it turned out, there were other Avengers that were first responders on the sight, so why was that? Was Tony Stark potentially aware of something going down at the Time Warner building or had he preempted something like this happening?”_

 

The interviewer, Joy Matthews, countered with a point of her own. _“Well, isn’t that the point, Mike? Isn’t it quite telling - the fact that Mr. Stark got injured in the process himself - that he had nothing to do with this?”_

 

 _“As far as we are aware, the reports are saying that he survived this. That he’s come out of this alive, and that if he had preempted something, well the other Avengers were on sight to rescue him.”_ If there was anyone else Tony had hated more than Justin Hammer, it was Michael LaPierre.

 

Tony and the man had had a falling out even before Tony had called it quits on designing military weapons. Pushing for more guns, despite the mass shootings in the country occurring on a daily basis, was inexcusable to Tony no matter what the justification.

 

Now LaPierre, along with the A.S.A., was pushing to arm the public against supes that are according to him, ‘a dangerous and growing concern to society.’ He had already classed them all as vigilantes, and the N.R.A. was in the process of creating weapons that could be used against the likes of the ‘enhanced.’ Tony felt his blood boil the further the man talked.

 

 _“Nonetheless, Mr. Stark was in the building when this happened,”_ Matthews countered again _. “He hadn’t seemed to have his Iron Man suit on. So how did he survive?”_

 

 _“Exactly!”_ Jason Cernovich interjected this time. _“How did he survive?”_

 

 _“In that footage there, he does look injured.”_ Matthews.

 

 _“So what? He could be faking it.”_ LaPierre again.

 

_“What exactly are you saying there Mike?”_

 

_“I just think it’s really fishy. This attack takes place on the same day the debate is arranged - Stark’s the one who arranges the debate - for all intents and purposes, he makes it out of there alive, Kimberly’s still in hospital, and the Avengers are the first responders. It’s up to the public to decide what this all means.”_

 

Tony couldn’t watch this any further; averting his gaze, fists clenched tightly at his sides. Any pain he had been feeling upon waking again, was now completely replaced with justified vexation. “They’re really going for it…? Bunch of fucking assholes. I bet they’re all behind this.”

 

Natasha hummed from the couch, eyes still on the news report. “Yeah, that’s what we think.”

 

“Have you found out anything else about this?”

 

The redhead shook her head. “No… There’s still no footage of how the bomb got into the building in the first place. Nobody has any idea. Any footage they could have gotten, has well, been destroyed. Nobody suspicious seemed to be entering or leaving the building around the same time. Only Kimberly and her entourage are the last group of people we see going into the building before all hell breaks loose.”

 

When the footage changed to a lineup of all the Avengers who had been present at the sight of the explosion, Natasha finally seemed to have had enough, switching off the monitor. She bowed her head, arms on her thighs, eyes focused on a random point on the ground; her expression despondent. “It was either somebody who was against the A.S.A. who wanted to get rid of her, or somebody from the N.R.A. who wanted her to die a martyr, _or_ she planned the whole thing herself… or it was somebody who hated the ‘fake-news’ mainstream media. Take your pick.”

 

Kimberly planning the attack herself didn’t sit right with Tony, seeing as she had gotten injured in the process, unless she had planned a suicide mission. Though the idea didn’t seem entirely founded. It seemed more likely that LaPierre’s people had something to with this, given how quickly they and the A.S.A. had responded to the situation. “Doesn’t matter who it was, the effect is still the same. We’re smeared by this.”

 

Natasha nodded once in response. “If Clarke survives this, which it sounds like she might, you’re going to have one hell of a time trying to convince her of anything Tony. If we know anything of her, she’s probably going to be the first one jumping on the bandwagon of the conspiracists, and saying we all had something to do with this somehow.”

 

There was one thing Tony didn’t understand though…“Why were you guys there in the first place?” he asked of his fellow Avenger. “That’s what I don’t get. How did Bucky know where to find me?”

 

Natasha finally raised her head to look up at Tony, now wearing a mild expression of annoyance. “What do you mean how did he know where to find you? There was only one place you were going to be.”

 

Tony clicked his tongue in equal frustration. “Yes, I get that, but why were you following me?”

 

Natasha shook her head, as if the answer should have been obvious. “You were going into the enemy’s den Tony. You didn’t even want to take your suit with you. Of course we were going to watch your back.”

 

“Who’s ‘we’? And why didn’t you tell me about this beforehand?”

 

“Mmm, I see when it comes to you, you don’t really like being kept in the dark right?”

 

Tony would have laughed if he hadn’t already seen this conversation coming. “Really Romanoff? We’re doing this now?”

 

“Kind of, I guess,” Natasha replied, shrugging; her annoyance shifting from mild to open disappointment. “We had our reasons not to tell you Tony. Hell, to be perfectly honest, we only decided on the morning. Only Bucky, Steve and I knew about it and that was after Bucky insisted we needed to be ‘preemptive’ like Mike over there suggested,” Natasha gestured toward the blank T.V. monitor with her head. “Bucky was the one who had decided to hang around the perimeter _in case_ something happened. It was an innate feeling he had, of something potentially going wrong. And you know what? It paid off in the end. You survived.”

 

“Somehow I get the feeling, I would have survived either way,” Tony responded sarcastically.

 

Natasha didn’t seem to agree. “You don’t know that for sure. Doesn’t matter - he was _right_. He was right about what he had felt. An instinct, correct? An instinct he had had specifically about _you_. It won’t take too many guesses to know why he had that feeling. Why he and Steve have had certain feelings and reactions when it’s concerned you.” 

 

The redhead turned her body fully so that she was facing Tony straight on. “Steve might have told you - I don’t know - some of it was loud enough for me to catch in the shouting match you two had downstairs, but he might have told you about how he has been feeling these last few weeks. I didn’t really get it at the time. I just wanted him to leave you alone incase you ended up feeling like you were being cornered, pressured into or feeling like you were obligated to be around us.

 

“I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t let it go. But now I do. And what do you know of how Bucky felt? He has been the most ‘to himself’ about all of this but it’s obvious now, that this entire thing has been affecting him too. Quite significantly. He’s just not as talkative about things as Steve is - he’s not as ‘in your face’ about it.”

 

Tony shook his head in exasperation. “I don’t need this from you Natasha. I’ve had enough of it already.”

 

“I don’t think you have though Tony,” Natasha countered in stubborn determination. “I don’t think you _get_ it.”

 

“And are you going to enlighten me, Romanoff?”

 

Natasha looked away from Tony for the briefest of moments, before green eyes focused back on him with unconstrained scrutiny. “I don’t feel like it should be my job to, but you need to understand what it is you’ve done, and what it means for you to have kept this from them. You essentially risked their lives too when you put yours up on the line for Loki. You might not think that way, but their behaviours _have_ been influenced by you. It was weird in the beginning why either of them would act so out of character for them, but it makes sense now.

 

“And given how obsessed Steve has been with your wellbeing, imagine if something did happen Tony and you aren’t able to convince this woman - I mean it seems like it’s almost impossible now - I don’t want to admit it, but the possibility is there and you knew it right? Knowing what you know now, having seen what you’ve seen now, how do you think they’re going to react if you did die? What do you think is going to happen to them? Tony do you have any idea?”

 

 _Oh God. This again._ Tony wanted to scream from the frustrations of having the same repetitive arguments being thrown his way. “They won’t _literally_ die.”

 

“No. No. I think we know enough about these soul bonds to know that that’s true,” Natasha conceded, “but emotionally, what does it mean? Steve seemed like he was going crazy worrying about you, and that was only worrying about something _potentially_ happening to you. _But_ what if something really did happen Tony? I don’t know how they would react to be honest, but it doesn’t seem like it would be something they would just _get over_ , or something that wouldn’t really matter in the long term. Soul bonds they matter, okay?”

 

The redhead paused for a moment, seemingly reflecting on her words, before continuing with, “I could have understood your reasons, I _can_ understand your reasons for wanting to keep this from them. I know they won’t agree, I know Steve won’t agree, but I get it. I _get_ being afraid, and I get not wanting to interfere in somebody else’s life and make yourself seem significant. But what I have trouble with is, the fact that you’ve risked their lives now too, and they needed to have known Tony. It’s like taking their autonomy away from them.”

 

Tony wanted to laugh. That was just bloody rich. “What do _you_ know about soul bonds Romanoff?” Tony scoffed. “You don’t have one remember?”

 

The intended effect Tony had expected with his words hit their mark, when Natasha flinched at the statement, eyes averting from Tony’s person.

 

“You know don’t you…?” Her question was in a tone laced with shock and dawning realisation. “And you knew I knew about you…”

 

Tony’s expression turned into one of discontent as he looked back at the redhead. _Of course_ he had known. Natasha had hidden the truth from them this entire time as well. The hypocrite.

 

“I recognised the skin graft,” left Tony’s lips in bubbling resentment. “I recognised the technology.”

 

Natasha’s eyes were back on Tony, holding disbelief. “How could you possibly?”

 

Tony scoffed again. Every time the technology was used, the skin became unnaturally smooth, a telltale sign that something was being masked. He had recognised it the instant Natasha had bared her wrist to him almost two years ago. “I’m the one who designed it. And you’re not as clever as you think you are.”

 

“Yeah…” Natasha acknowledged bitterly. “It seems to have fooled the person that matters the most though.”

 

“Whose is it? It’s not Banner, I know that for sure.”

 

“No, he… shares one with Betty.”

 

“Of course he does. Whose is it?”

 

Natasha held the name on a long breath before expelling it in a rush. “Clint’s…”

 

Tony didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh outright now or scream into a fucking void until his throat became raw and his voice became hoarse. The audacity and hypocrisy of the woman was astounding. “ _Really Natasha_? You’re gonna lecture me about hiding a soul mark when you’ve done the same thing this entire time?”

 

“I know Tony…” Natasha attempted to explain, her arguments crumbling before her. “ _I know,_ and like I said, I know why you did it. And I never said anything about it, even though I suspected. I suspected you had a mark but that was your burden to bear and I wasn’t going to fault you for that. But now, now something major has happened, and your life - as much as you don’t want to admit it, it doesn’t entirely belong to you.”

 

Tony wanted to throw something. “ _This_ nonsense again?”

 

“Listen…” Natasha tried again, desperation seeping into her tone, now that Tony seemed less and less believing of her excuses. “The reason why I haven’t told Clint is very much the reason I think you’ve had for not telling Steve or Bucky. I don’t - his family still matter to him Tony. His family is still important to Clint. He loves Laura and I don’t want this to mean anything. I don’t want this to get in between anything. He’s still hurting and he’s still recovering. But ultimately this situation isn’t a life or death situation for him.”

 

“Oh cry me a fucking river Natasha, neither is mine!”

 

“As far as you know Tony.”

 

“Are you honestly suggesting that me keeping this from them is somehow going to make them suicidal?”

 

“No. But we don’t fully understand the consequences of this.”

 

Tony felt his expression morph further into one of loathing. He had honestly had enough of this. “That’s rich coming from you. Okay?” He moved closer toward the nearest elevator, not wanting to be around the woman any longer. “I’ll take your shit if you own up to yours. But as it stands I don’t answer to you. I never have and I _never_ will. You do you, I’ll do me.”

 

Those were the last words Tony Stark said to Natasha before he was in the elevator and out of her sight.

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

When Tony finally made it to his room, he shouldn’t have been surprised to find a visitor there. But he _was_ nonetheless surprised, given who the visitor actually was. Tony had to wonder how long the man had just been sitting there, waiting for him.

 

“It’s been a while.”

 

Tony’s ‘room’ was more like an apartment complex with it’s own self-contained kitchen, living area, and so forth. So Bucky, still dressed in the same outfit of the morning, dust and debris still clinging to the surface, was sat on one of his couches in the living area, staring vacantly at the wall across from him, though Tony’s presence did appear to register to him when he responded with, “Couple of hours isn’t a while.”

 

“No…Not since you rescued me, but since you’ve actually sought me out, ” Tony replied, moving toward the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water before returning to the living area. “I don’t blame you for wanting to stay away. I haven’t really been a good friend.”

 

Bucky still hadn’t turned to look at him. “Is that what you call it Tony, is that what you call what we were? Friends? Was I really a friend to you?”

 

Tony didn’t even hesitate. “Without question. You matter to me.”

 

“You see, I don’t - I don’t think you’re being honest.” When Bucky still didn’t look in his direction, Tony shifted again, dragging a nearby chair along with him to sit across from the man, placing his glass of water on the coffee table in the process.

 

“I don’t think I _do_ matter,” Bucky continued. Despite not having changed his clothes, Bucky’s hair looked damp, as if he had doused his head with water. From his position, Tony could see the morose expression on the other man’s face; steel-blue eyes haunted and overcast with an emotion Tony had trouble placing. “I don’t really blame you either. Our histories haven’t exactly been friendly. I can see why you wouldn’t consider me anything else but a nuisance.”

 

“You’re not a nuisance Bucky,” Tony reassured. “If I really didn’t like you, if I really didn’t want anything to do with you, I would have made it abundantly clear. I only put up pretences with my public persona, but in my personal life, I don’t have to fake it. If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be around you. I meant everything I said to you last year.”

 

Bucky’s eyes searched the glass of the coffee table as Tony continued to speak, not once drifting to Tony’s person. It was starting to bother Tony.

 

“I looked into your memories and I understood your history and I came to know the person you really are, the person you were _before_ the Winter Soldier - a person I could have admired. And I _do_ admire. You’ve been through hell and you’ve survived it all. Your personality - it’s the best aspect about you. It’s the most attractive part. And I care for that personality, and I care for you. There was never a lie about that.”

 

“Right…” Bucky nodded, almost as if in dejection. “These words, they’re so pretty. They sound pretty.” A hollow laugh passed his lips. “But I don’t really buy them, especially when you’ve lied to me so easily - this entire time, like it didn’t _matter._ ” Bucky’s voice breaking at the end of his statement made Tony’s heart constrict. He sounded so broken, so defeated - it hurt to watch.

 

“You convinced me that Steve was in love with me and that I’m in love with him. I bought into your lies.”

 

This was the same argument Steve had presented earlier and Tony’s frustration reared its head again. “That - that wasn’t a _lie_ Bucky. It was sincere. My opinion of your relationship wasn’t a lie. I see what so many other people have seen - how much you care for each other, and how much you mean to each other - and what that could lead into as a future relationship.

 

“All those things I said to you, everything I said to you, I meant it. It wasn’t a guise, it wasn’t a ruse, I wasn’t hiding anything. You two matter. You can’t possibly tell me, that it was because of me, that you got into a relationship with Steve? You can’t possibly tell me that your feelings aren’t your own, that your decision wasn’t your own.”

 

Bucky didn’t miss a beat, finally looking Tony in the eye, even if for the briefest of seconds. “And I can’t tell you that that is the truth.”

 

This was another admission that left Tony reeling. “What?”

 

“I don’t know Tony. I don’t know if these feelings are my own. I - I can’t tell.”

 

Tony couldn’t let this fly. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course they’re your own. Only _you_ feel them. Who else’s would they be if not your own Bucky?”

 

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t know… Yours?”

 

“ _Mine?”_

 

The outrage in Tony’s voice didn’t seem to affect Bucky who looked pensive in that moment, as if internally reflecting on his own thoughts. “Your feelings that we were ‘meant to be’ is what convinced me, could have convinced me to pursue a relationship.”

 

First Steve and now Bucky. Tony really didn’t appreciate being forcefully crowned the villain in this narrative. How could he possibly have dictated to _other_ people how to feel?

 

“My feelings? I don’t feel anything _for_ you guys, I feel them about your _relationship_. I feel what’s obvious to so many people, but listen, this wasn’t _my_ decision to make. If you don’t feel that way about each other then that’s fine, okay? My angle was simply that I saw your relationship one way, as did countless other people, but if you didn’t feel that way then you were under no obligation to have pursued anything. Please don’t blame this on me.”

 

Though what Tony couldn’t understand was why any of this mattered in the first place, given the outcome was the same? “But you’re honestly gonna tell me that you had no romantic feelings for Steve?”

 

The haunted look was back on Bucky’s face once again. “I don’t know what I feel anymore… Steve… he’s been vocal about this whole situation and I’ve just steadily felt more lost as time has gone by. I don’t even know how to explain it you. This entire time, I’ve felt like something else has been going on. Something bigger than just myself and I don’t know what to think about it. I don’t know how to deal with it.

 

“Steve, he cares about you and we all know that, but me… I’ve been loosing my mind too. Probably not as openly as Steve but this has been _harrowing_ , Tony.” Here Bucky rubbed an unsteady hand over his face, as if wiping away imaginary dirt, before steel-blue eyes focused on Tony, finally staying on Tony for the first time.

 

“Seeing you stand up there and just sacrifice yourself, without even thinking about any of us… It’s - I mean devastating doesn’t even cut it - isn’t even close to what I felt. How could you not only do that to yourself but to the rest of us, to me? It - it felt like your regard for me, it meant _nothing_ , it didn’t exist - you didn’t care.

 

“And that to me was probably the most overwhelming thing, and I don’t understand why. I don’t get it, you know? I - I _didn’t_ get it, but then now it’s out there that you lied about your soul mark as well and it just... it kills me to admit, that you probably lied about it all because you never wanted anything to do with me.”

 

Tony had gone speechless at that, feeling as though words had died at the back of his throat. A part of his subconscious unable to refute Bucky’s words, and he hated himself just in that moment.

 

“That you could sit there and look me in the eye and say this soul bond thing - that it didn’t matter - that it didn’t matter you weren’t bonded to somebody because it wasn’t important. You’d actually felt relieved knowing that you weren’t bonded to somebody. Lying, lying to my face all the while sharing a soul mark with me. Do you kind of see where I’m getting at? Do you kind of understand how that seems? That just the mere idea of sharing a soul mark with me was such a repugnant idea that you kept it all to yourself.”

 

Tony had to swallow past the lump in his throat. Where Steve had been justifiably vitriolic in his stance towards Tony, Bucky just seemed to have a distraught resignation about him. It was awful to watch.

 

“That’s not what this is about Bucky. Honestly it’s not. Yes, I didn’t want this to mean anything but not because it has anything to do with you specifically, but just in general. I don’t think bonds should get to dictate how you should feel about somebody. That’s legitimately it. And I didn’t want it to mean something in the sense that I didn’t want it to be significant enough to get in between your relationship with Steve. That’s all it was. I’m not ashamed of you. I didn’t deliberately hide it because it was you I was bonded to.”

 

“Really?” Bucky challenged, dark brows drawn together as his eyes looked back into Tony’s. “Then will you embrace it?”

 

“Embrace it?”

 

“Yeah…” Bucky nodded slowly. “Will you openly admit to the world that you’re soul bonded to the Winter Soldier?”

 

“You’re not the Winter Soldier.”

 

“Fine, then will you admit to the world that you’re bonded to Bucky Barnes? Will you admit to the world that you’re my soulmate, that I am your soulmate?”

 

Tony honestly didn’t know what to make of the earnestness lying underneath the surface of Bucky’s raw emotions. Tony didn’t have it in him to be able to deal with the possible implications of the other man’s words. “In what capacity Bucky? In what capacity am I your soulmate Bucky? These bonds, they aren’t exactly a blessing. It simply means that whoever you share the bond with has irrevocably changed your life. What do you want it to mean?”

 

Bucky swallowed; pained blue eyes diverting to the ground once again. “I don’t know… I guess I just want it to matter.”

 

“Why? You share a soul mark with the person that you love, isn’t that enough?”

 

“I don’t know…” Bucky cried out; expression unravelling, voice hoarse and cracking at the seams. “I don’t know anymore! I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know what is real anymore and what isn’t. I don’t know if I’m in love with Steve. I _love_ him… but _in love_ … I don’t know anymore if I ever was.”

 

Tony was left floored. “How can you say that? Bucky you made the choice yourself.”

 

 _“I made it because of you…!”_ The punches of admissions kept coming and Tony felt breathless. Bucky was out of his seat and seemed to be almost shaking where he now stood. “Tony… I made it because of you.”

 

Tony couldn’t accept this, he just couldn’t. “That’s a lie…”

 

“No. No it’s not.”

 

Tony watched Bucky closely in apprehension, anxiety clawing at his chest once again. “Why would it be because of _me_?”

 

“I can’t tell you exactly why Tony, because I barely understand it myself, or I’m barely coming to terms with it. But know this - it was because I thought you were unbonded, I took your word, and Steve and I _were_ bonded and I thought why not just try, see where it goes.”

 

“But you have been happy though right?” Tony persisted. “Whatever - it was because of me you got into this relationship - _whatever_. But surely now that you’re there, you can see that it was the right decision to make? That you’re happier now? Right?”

 

Bucky shook his head in vehement disagreement. “No… I’m just more confused. Tony you don’t - you don’t know this, because I guess I’ve never openly addressed it, I’ve never told you, but… you matter to me, a great deal. You have no idea just _how much_ you matter to me. What you’ve done for me, nobody else has ever done, and I don’t just mean that post the Winter Soldier. I mean just in life, in general.

 

“Aside from Steve, I’ve never had anyone genuinely care or just be genuinely _good or kind_. You say you’re not used to hearing this, but when I say you are a selfless man, I mean that in every sense of the word. After everything I’ve done, after everything Hydra made me do, you still… you not only went out of your way to help me, but you maintained a relationship.”

 

Tony honestly didn’t know what to make of these confessions. On the one hand, he was genuinely touched by these words, on the other… he didn’t think Bucky’s observations of Tony’s actions should hold the significance Bucky seemed to be giving them. Tony did those things because it was the right thing to do, not because it was specifically to do with Bucky, which was ironic to point out, seeing as only _Bucky_ was the one to experience the things that he had…

 

Okay, Tony was now giving himself another headache hanging on the specifics of his thoughts. Nonetheless, Bucky’s words seemed to hold merit to him and it was important Tony continued to listen.

 

“You got me free from the clutches of my own mind. You got me free from the clutches of the authority who were trying to send me away forever, or even kill me,” Bucky further explained, looking more vulnerable and afraid the longer he continued to talk. “You did _all_ of that and you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to do _any_ of it Tony - not after what Steve did. Not after him lying to you and especially not after what happened in Siberia. You built me a new arm. You recovered my better memories and most importantly of all… You gave me a _home_.”

 

And that. Right there. Was enough to completely stun Tony. He could suddenly feel the emotions Bucky was displaying reverberating within his own soul - his soul mark lighting up a fire inside him that was so potent, Tony didn’t know what to do in that moment, aside from feeling overwhelmed.

 

Bucky appeared to have felt his own soul mark responding, for his eyes flashed in recognition and he took in a strong breath. Though he still remained determined in saying his own peace. “You gave me a home, a place to call my own, after everything we did to you. I meant it back then when I said I certainly care about you. Tony you - I don’t think you understand just how much you mean to me and just how much you can influence what I do.

 

“So when you said to me in so many words, ‘give it a shot Bucky’, I _listened_. I listened, and now I… I’m _lost._ And hurt. Knowing that the person I care about so much… that in the end he really didn’t want anything to do with me, and it hurt, it _hurts._ Like you can’t even imagine. And I don’t know what to do.”

 

“And you say these pretty things,” Bucky said, again in hopeless resignation, wearing that same forlorn expression, tragic enough to completely break Tony’s heart, “and I want to believe them but you’ve been dishonest. You’ve been dishonest about your relationship with Loki, you’ve been dishonest about what you know, you’ve been dishonest about that ring on your finger and what that means. Now I find that you’ve been lying to me about your soul mark the entire time, and I’m… lost. I want to believe you Tony, I _really_ do, but I just can’t anymore. And that _kills_ me.”

 

Lashes over blue eyes blinked many times before Bucky looked around him; those same eyes suddenly widening, as if the reality of Bucky’s words finally dawned on him. Before Tony could even begin to process anything else, let alone have his own say or respond, Bucky was already moving, shaking his head in the process. “I have to go,” he said in hurried panic, “I have to go.”

 

Tony could do nothing else but watch numbly as Bucky all but ran out of his quarters, feeling for the nth time that day, that his world was collapsing all around him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never be influenced by the narrator. Everybody's anger is justified here. No one person is the bad guy.


End file.
